Day 7: No humbleness, I want to see what you're doing!

 

No humbleness?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I bluff myself and think what I say is true when in reality, I have no results to show. And how I am only showing my mind as a philosopher instead of someone who pulls the trigger on a daily basis to get things done, and show the fruits of my labor. Instead I’ve only shown the fruits of my own labor of the mind, instead of physical results of my input equals my output and results to what even here to begin with. And how the starting point of arrogance and no humbleness was always fucked to begin with, and how it was never to be sought after to be investigated unless I was ready to hear, and in reality, I was never ready to hear. I was always set in my own ways, thinking that not listening to others and being not so humble and not learn and be able to listen for the first time and be able to see what the hell has been going on and how I haven’t been getting any of the results that I’ve been wanting. Because I’ve been wanting in lack and never bothered to realise to humble down and buckle down and realise that I don’t have the things that i want quite yet and how they feel and are so out of reach within my dishonesty and now coming to honesty as it is. And for me to say all of these wonderful things and sometimes it strikes the people as it have struck me because of how truthful it was and is, and when in reality, I am really not the person to be listening to, i have nothing to show for, but what i can offer as off support, and how that isn’t enough either. It is what I have in possession as material as well, and money wise, and not just the mindset of a philosopher of of “opher” of the “gopher” who is always in the ground and never up in the sun, when in reality, it is afraid of getting the sun light and how other predators are at stake and to be witnessed and soon being paranoid and arrogant more and more to what I think I have. When in liberty of reality, I have nothing but me who is trying to be a gopher in the dark and a phil(fill)loso(fer)philosopher), as if I am filling a loss that isn’t even there and how I am just being delusional to think that and this is the best way to show one another how smart I am when in reality, I have nothing to show for that is of within my input as my output was basically outdated. And how it is a loss being filled further, with nothing in return in physical tangible results that others can see from me that I have gotten as well and not just filling a loss further(philosopher) for something that isn’t even here in my possession and presence. Because I think that I know it all and how i don’t need the support unconsciously and subconsciously to the conscious act to think that I don’t need any help, and nor any help from myself as if I am filling my own loss even further than what is not even here from the starting point at all whatsoever.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a father to not realise that I am not a humble role model either, that I am a nobody to be insulting anyone but myself and how if I insult another and think others don’t have more. But I think I have more?, I am nothing but a delusional person and father and a deadbeat to even think that I have it all, when none of the results have to show for, because I was always showing him my arrogance and nothing was done about me and from me. And guess what the fuckery and atrocity?He ended up doing the same thing that I have always done to make him feel less than me as I have always done and ever truly realised what a deceiver I am and how I am not doing what’s best for all. I am nothing but a deceiver who is deceiving himself as if this thing were to be true out of arrogance. When in reality, this is another form of arrogance and blindness to the fact that I think I have more than one another, when in reality I have… What?, fucking nothing. Literally nothing to show, because I never made the effort myself and to be in my mind and how my son has done the same and how it had happened to many varying degrees to think that oh he probably doesn’t have enough, nor do I, so i’m going to try to make him feel less than me, thinking he will do more, when in reality, it is destroying his self esteem and making him angry at me for my own blind delusional instability to think that i have all the money in the world and think that I am confident. But my results do not show for themselves because I was so self conscious after thinking that I had it all, and nothing ever showed up, because I never made the effort to do so, because of the arrogance and how strong it was for me to be blind to it and never truly understand my own arrogance, of how it is just a living lie within me that i could never have realised. Because everything in my life is nothing but a… what?, a LIE. All a lie, how nothing has ever showed up in my life to me being so strict to my blindness and not letting go of what isn’t best and how I have yet to forgive myself of it, just so I can much more comfortable and set in my own ways and how I see life as it is. And nothing more, how I never saw more and never could do more, so I’m so comfortable being this way and making much more excuses to feel and believe and live this facade like a fad and lie that I have yet to even realise that it is not me. But a character that I have come to develop and live out as my being and how in reality, I am not me, I am nothing but a lie of the media, movies, tv shows, tv shows as movies, horror movies, society, friends, so called friends, associates, so called associates, and how IT was always being influenced this whole time. To take from others and feel as if arrogance is the best way to teach one another and my son and how I think that this delusional tactic is going to help me any further, when in reality, it will not. It will only derail me, once as if ever, to say the wrong thing for my ego to finally fuck me and my arrogance to lose everything, even my own respect for myself that I never had. The self trust, that I never had, the self living being as principle and direct principle, that I never had. Because I was too blind to the fact that I thought not being humble and being arrogant is the best way to show my mind and give my son and other people a piece of mind. When in reality, I am giving nothing but my insecurities that I thought were deemed to be true, and when I redeem it again, I show more of my self conscious being and insecurities of truly not ever having anything because of how I conduct myself on a daily basis. And be some type of philosopher, as if I am filling a loss further for nothing that isn’t even usable and practical, it was just in reality, theory, a facade, a fad and ultimately all mixed into one, arrogance and feeling self conscious of my own insecurities to be released upon to my son and how nothing has been there to show for. Because I can't let go of not wanting to be humble, no matter how hard I try to say, I want to be humble and to be humble to myself and to others, and how i say it to others. But evidently, i am not doing it myself, so therefore, if i keep doing that, i am nothing but a psychopath, cycle and cycling a path, that is just in circles and becoming bigger in circles to no man’s land and no where to begin with and how there will be no practical results to show for. Because I decided to just stay home and be self conscious on and in my own insecurities as if this is the best way to go about anything. And philosophize, filling a loss in size that isn’t even here and how I had nothing to begin with and for me to do that, will only get me further, but not real living change. As i have never truly ever, experienced real living change at all whatsoever.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a friend, so called friend, associate, so called associate, girlfriend, boyfriend, or anybody, and anyone, as a friend and another person to tell my friend to be humble and settle down. And how for me to tell him to humble down and be humble, and how I found myself not doing it and how he noticed me not being humble and how i have never come to realise my own results and dong something at last minute to redirect myself from my own direct order to do something that was and or could’ve been best for me, but in reality it was not. And how for me to tell my friend that to be humble and be it and live it and I end up doing the different thing at last minute and not showing my humbleness, I am nothing but a sociopath and psychopath to think that what I am doing is humbleness and how I change it at the last minute and show arrogance. Is in reality another form and reality, of stupidity and arrogance from me as a idiot moron who has yet to realise what I have just doe, because of the insufficiency of my own vocabulary and how I was yet to realise with Real Eye to realise the Real Lies as truths, as and truths as lies in contradictory to think that oh this is the way, but I will completely do something different and end up fooling myself into oblivion and delusion of ILL(lose)usion, to go nowhere but in being in my own mind as if this was the best case to lose more of my self respect and self trust that I never had in the first place from the very starting point, as it was fucked to begin with. No matter how hard I tried to be humble again, I lost everyone and everything and even my own self trust and self character that I am not even one and equal to myself and others. I’ve always seen myself as superior and saw others as inferior. And whenever I show my arrogance and self consciousness, I get insecure and therefore, I am the one who is inferior and others are inferior and superior contra-diction as it is in the fiction of contra-fiction of truth and lie and lie and truth. As pure stupidity and bullshit, that nothing was even set directly as self honesty, when in reality, it was all along the whole time, self dishonesty, before I could even voice it and realise it for the better. Instead I just did something at the last minute and never realised my delusion that I have done for myself and for others to be imposed with and pose me as a poser of inefficiency and .. what? An imposter as well. And how I am not me, i have lived this imprinted character and fed it more putting more value on this to think that others should be doing the same thing to think arrogance is and ignorance is bliss. When ignorance is bliss, arrogance is too in a lie that people have believed and gotten the other way around. No wonder others have nothing in their lives and so do i either to think that we and I have it all, when we don’t, we are only speaking some lie that isn’t even true in our lives, because we decided to participate more and more in my mind and our minds as if reality is not even here.

When and as I see myself not showing any humbleness and pure arrogance of filling a loss further of that and what isn’t here yet, I stop and breathe and listen and direct for the better to learn and apply with real living change for the better. I realise that begin arrogance and not so humble is in fact not what’s best for all as if I am trying to be a philosopher and to think that way is the best way to do and go about anything, when in reality, i fi don’t have the results yet, then what am I doing trying to influence another as if I am not humble myself and trying to be another psychopath and sociopath to tread a path in cycles for others to follow when nothing I have achieved have yet to be planted and harvested for the better as nothing is eve there.

When and as I see myself wanting to speak something up and how I don’t have the results yet and how I haven’t done anything yet to achieve the input and output for the fruits of my labor has yet to be in possession, I stop and breathe. I realise that being able to support another with the results I have is, able to show it, and not just trying to flaunt it off with words and mental (mass)turbation as the regular fool has yet to even know what that means, and you know what, that is okay, they’ll realise at some point, or… NEVER.

I commit myself to remain in learning mode and applying to get real real life results in real life as possession and presence to show and to truly BE ABLE to support one another, even if it is without money. Even when I do and have money right now, I will still be able to support one another with my effort and frequency of my being and conserve it for the right people that do want the support. And I am willing to help one another and to be able to be helped as well in return for the better. For as I see myself as life and life resonance awareness to improve and adapt for the better of my super super success!

I commit myself to help and teach my kids and help and my wife to see me as a role model of modesty and humbleness and how much I have achieved and that they can do the same and better as well. Anyone and everyone can do much better, as they are getting the support, because no one can do this journey in business and life alone. When there is stability, do not forget development, as it is real life development, and when there is development, do not forget about stability, as it is very vital to all facets of life, including emotional and financially as well. And to become a person to be admired for and to be seen as one and equal individual for the better, for as I see myself as life and life resonance awareness to improve and adapt for the better!

I commit myself to challenge those who try to not be humble and arrogant and point it out to them with respect and dignity and with stability, and that if a deceiver continues to disregard their awareness, I will disregard them. Because in reality, if no one or that person doesn’t want to listen and are so set in their own ways, then how are things even going to work?, if he/she or a group of people want to be influenced in an arrogant and not so humble way to think that we are not one and equal to each other?, there is fallacy within that. So it needs to be investigated for the better. For as I see myself as life and life resonance awareness to improve adapt for the better!

I commit myself to help my employees, senior partners, directors, salespersons, customers, clients, to help them show what true humbleness is and seeing another as an one and equal and that we are always learning from one another. No matter who it is and even with my kids as well, and to show people common sense and realise the simplicity in life and in business, and how it all comes down to education and learning, no matter what it is. That we are a family together, nothing different, but our mindsets and environments, that we can and I can change that together for the better as a team for the better. For as I see myself as life and life resonance awareness to improve and adapt for the better our and my super super super super SUCCESS!

I commit myself to write self forgiveness to forgive myself of what is not best within me and realise them through self realisation statements to realise what I had and have reacted to that wasn’t in my best interest. And within that, I commit myself to write self commitment statements to re-correct myself into what is best for me and how I conduct and interact my day and with others for growth and achievement for what is best for all. And to use the tools of TechnoTutor, Desteni I Process, journey’s and heavens to life blogs to be able to truly become an effective person and high performance for the better. And to live the living change, for as I see myself as life and life resonance awareness to improve and adapt for the better!