Day 26: Accusation will not get you far, forgive once and for all.

 

 Accusation?

(Read Aloud and Breathe)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when i try to accuse someone of being so quick to deny, I am only accusing them at the last minute. Not realising that I am blaming myself and self sabotaging myself right then and after as if this person is giving me an objection, when in reality, i am the one who has the objection as well, and how I haven’t noticed that for a very long time. And how people have been so quick to deny me. Even when i am forcing myself to explain myself, when in reality, I am only hurting myself ever more as if things have changed truly, but it hasn’t. No matter what maneuver of words and tone I do, I am only trying accuse another person for their objection, when in reality, I am only accusing the person, so that is what makes the person seem to accuse me and blame me for not knowing my information, when in fact, i do, they just understand what I’m saying. When in fact, i am not making it clear and simple for the other person, because if I explained something to myself, I would probably never have understood it either. I just don’t understand the context from what the other person is meaning to understand from me, and if I portray something that doesn’t make sense, then I will get rejected. And when i do get rejected, later i’ll start t have these backchat conversations with different characters and personalities to go and forth with the bickering that if you have something within you, that is making you do a certain thing and away and a gesture in your speech, then most likely, they will reject me and you as well. It’s obvious, because they will, it’s the real world and reality, we are nowhere else than here and where we are. And if I don’t understand something, and how i already said something to the other person to what I have just said, and how this person is not staying and mentioning that i have is a scam or not, when in fact, i just don’t know what I’m talking about in contradiction and actual conversation. It’s as if I was just confused or something not knowing what to do, as if I haven’t a clue of what I just said and done, and now I'm frustrated and blaming myself for not realising what objection I am giving to another person to make them have objection towards me. And how I never understand that, it was quite hard for me, because if I am doing something to accuse another and then blame them, and THEN, I start to try to argue with them, not realising that the sale is already lost and the conversation is already Lost once an argument surfaces and no one gets anything from both sides. No matter what anyone bothers to say, when either prospective parties give an excuse and objection to hang up and say ‘I’ve got to go’ or ‘I’ve got to run.’ And what I thought was just total bullshit, when if someone would do the same thing to me, I would do the same thing to them. Not realising that i am not conveying information in a clear simple direct way, no matter what anyone says, and how I am just trying to over explain myself as if I need to do. And to give more clarity so another person would agree with me. When in fact and reality, I am just in fantasy land when someone would so happen to agree with me right away on the phone just because I am trying to give more clarification as an excuse just so they can better understand, when my starting point was just accusing another and then later blaming myself for it. Sabotaging my efforts that have burned out and burned to the ground, and now not able to come back to the person, until i decide to do so a few months later or not at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a parent to accuse my son had child for something he did not even do and how I forced him to do something and blamed him if he didn’t do it. And even bothered to threaten him at last minute not realising that that notion and mannerism and threat would damage him and his ability to communicate, not realising that I am the one who is giving the objection for what i have as well to my son and how i am also imparting such detrimental qualities upon him. Not realising how much of a BIG effect it would have upon him later in his life, no matter what he does, no matter how he speaks and conveys himself and gives context to anything. And how he has to explain himself just because we don’t understand and how if he doesn't give a faster answer, he will blame him and accuse him and immediately deny him and make him shut up and not say anything further. Just because he isn’t a great communicator, just like we weren’t either. So those traits and qualities from the download DNA had transferred upon and over time during fermentation and being conceived and now he is all grown up and is not able to communicate much effectively as he would’ve thought. And how he just spinning his wheels and getting where and frustrated and condemning his own efforts as if nothing has been going a little faster than he thought. When in fact, it is the real world and reality itself, and how we never taught him to overcome anything, we only taught him the detrimental things that never would help him at all whatsoever. No matter what he does or says or expresses himself in any way, no matter where he goes, he will be getting objection after objection for unconsciously and subconsciously accusing other people and not realising that he is the one who is accusing himself if he were the one to be selling to himself. Not realising that we did the same to him, and how we did that to ourselves, whether if one person had a messy room, messy life and health habits, and ways of living and doing. And how both of each other are getting upset, because we are accusing and blaming each other and condemning what we have and how it is not in order, nor in healthy remission. We just never had a clue of why we were getting so angry at each other and constantly so so so so so soooo constantly spinning our wheels with each other and other people and how the way we communicate to others and do one thing after another, is the way we do EVERYTHING. Because the program and pre-design program is going to fall into different areas of our lives and we will notice how the ego is taking revenge upon me and my wife and my husband and myself. And how we are not even noticing that we are blaming and accusing each other for something of such bad qualities within each other, no matter what we say and do. We will just end blowing it for ourselves, and no one gets the benefit, but the feelings and last resorts and results of blame and frustration and accusations that don’t even make sense. Just because of the qualities that are not even serving each other and ourselves as individuals for the better, it is only serving myself and I and my wife and my husband and I for failure and we will never succeed. No matter how much we try to accuse and blame and frustrate each other to the point of yelling wall surface and accusing will be made even further for the worst, not realizing that we are accusing and blaming each other in frustration as it goes up on the chart. And soon accusation and blame and frustration will be off the charts and into no man’s land, where no one will have life for each other, but resentment for each other and pure blame and spitefulness. As if we both missed what was even to be said, and how we missed the entire point of what was to be said and understood, because we both had different definitions of accusing and blaming, then as a result frustration sets in and boils. And soon everything will be gone, no more supply of water to be used for both parties, because of frustration setting in and accusation and blame and not realising who was even at fault or not at all, and only wanting to seek for a win. So another would so happen to compromise and give in like a coward, and not realise that we are just in attempt and manipulating each other in ways and qualities that aren’t even best for each other. And how it’s not just wrong, we’re just trying to put a label on it, so one of us can win the competition and not realise that we are in competition with each other, and only see each other as not one and equals. It is one and UNequal, and how we don’t want what’s best for all, and how one has to suffer, and there has to be a victor, and a loser, and how there are no victors for both and in between, or either left or right. There’s no together, because that’s what we’ve always thought and lived as the flesh of the living word as accusation and blame, then the result will resort back into frustration and obviously no one gets anything. Even if there has to be a victor, a loser and that is it. No one gets anything, and how I want everything for me, and no one gets anything. That Ii ever need more to fuel more of self interest and burn my own fire more and more and soon no one wants to join my fire, because it's so large and overbearing and frustrating to be with and not able to enjoy around. Others will soon go away, and sooner or later, I have nobody left, because everyone left due to the fire labeled accusation and the fuels put into the fire with the wood, was blame and spitefulness and condemning and forgetting who is who and what is what. And being so assertive to the point that no one is even worthy of the merit of deserving and how no one deserves anything just we both thought that there has to be a victor and loser. That there will be actual victors, just only one or the other and that is it. And how complaining sets in as a result with one the fuels put into the fire, and how it is not a natural fire, it is just a synthetic fuel fire, and not authentic, because we only made it up and didn’t even bother to put in the right proper matches to fuel the right proper fire for everyone to come around and notice and enjoy. We only ever made it worse, just because we both only wanted to be one of the victor or the other and how no one ever deserved a better life and worthiness off the merit of what true life and effective communications and relationships that we could’ve had. Even when we thought that people wanted things from us, and how we accused them of wanting something from us and how they do the same thing. And how my son and child came to agree with me, as if I needed to be letting them go, not realising that I had just accused my own family and my wife’s family of going away and not being with us. And even my own side of the family as well, and no wonder we don’t have the proper effective relationship and communication, because of our qualities that we have as individuals. It has never benefited us, we only lived them as the flesh, and never questioned why we would accuse someone of something, not realising that we are doing the same thing to ourselves in our own backchat, not realising that if it is even fake or real at all whatsoever. Using another's' voice as our voice adopting their character our character to live and be as the flesh and how we somehow conjure up blame, accusation, frustration, condemning complaints, and then arguments result as a resort as of a negative consequence that no one even bothered to notice if it would ever come or not. We only went with it anyway, because we were so blind to the fact that we don’t even know if we’re accusing one another or not, just because I wanted to be the victor and there HAS to be a loser, no matter what. As if everyone in my life, including my husband and my wife has to be a loser, and how i am in competition with everyone else, that no one deserves to have a life worthy of merit and actual effective conversation and stable emotions and along with financial stability. In fact, emotional stability comes along with education and nutrition, as vital and when in effect, it helps to Get financial stability and effective living. Unfortunately we don’t have that, we only made it worse, and only accepted and allowed the ways we thought were best, when in fact it is not at all whatsoever. We only accepted and allowed the fact we are in competition with one another, in fact, Unhealthy competition, not healthy competition, where all benefit and help each other and push each other to improve, it was only and always tearing down one another, and how no one ever deserved to make it out alive and out on the other together, it only had to be one person and that was it, or if no one at all if it were to be.

When and as I see myself wanting to accuse someone easily and then now want to blame another person and complain about it, I stop and breathe, and realise what I am trying to do and how it is not best for one another to experience, because it is not something that I would want to experience either. I realise that trying to accuse another and soon come out to blame them for not seeing and realising my own way and realisation, when in reality, I am only trying to prove someone wrong, just so I can be right. And how I realise that is not the best thing for me to go and do about anything, because now that I realise this, it won’t get very far, even in big business either, because eventually people will be so quick to deny me, if i am just only trying to give an excuse to have someone accuse me and how I am accusing them and the situation goes nowhere and argument surfaces, that’s when things just blow up our faces, not realising what we even just said or one of our counterparts even said. Or even in fact, ourselves for the most part. When in fact, I am only just conjuring my ego up and negative energy within me just to surface an objection that I have for myself and how people Will be so quick to deny me, just because they think and how I am not realising that if i don’t know what I’m talking about then a deal isn’t made for anything of interest to help and make another person be interested in how what I have may or may work for them. If I don’t know what I am trying to convey for another to understand, because they are perceiving me and how I am saying it, and how another person is only seeking for the answer that they only want for their self interest for what i have and if it does suit the benefit, then a rejection and objection will be as a resort. And no one will be benefiting, just for that particular pattern, and how it took me quite some time to even realise that I have been accusing another just because I needed and wanted in lack and limitation just to be right. When in fact, I was just wrong the whole time as the starting point, even before the call and conversation even happened itself and to occur if a sale was to be made or not by conversation and an effective relationship is to be built or not.

When and as i see myself wanting to complain and accuse of someone being so quick to deny me, I stop and breathe and realise that I am not conveying effective information and how I am presenting myself, and/or either if they just don’t understand and don’t have much context at all to what I am saying and not realising how I am doing what I am doing specifically. I realise that complaining after to the person will get me nowhere just trying to win something and be in competition with another to be the victor and they are loser or if they are to be the victor and i am loser. And how i know that will be best for anyone, nor for me at all whatsoever, eventually the conversation will go down the tidy bowl man into no man’s land, where nothing is to be cultivated but a desert of nothingness.

I commit myself to effectively present and convey myself in simplicity and simplify what I say and keep it direct and simple, so that all parties can understand and be able to be persuaded by me and to help everyone come onto the same page and be in mutual agreement for a deal to be made in the best ways possible. For everyone to benefit for the better. For as i see myself as breath and a reality physical participant as life awareness and life resonance to improve and adapt for the better!

I commit myself to encourage myself and others who are on my team and organization, to be of healthy actual real living commitment to competition and to see how We can All benefit together and move forward in creativity and innovation. And especially along with effective presentation of how we speak and with the relationships that we have, and how of course our relationship is with ourselves, is how we will conduct ourselves with others to understand the objection we have been given is the one we have ourselves, and how we are not yet in realisation of it and that it is good to realise now, through writing and explaining it to ourselves and truly keep things simple and to the point as it should be, no matter what. Where actual real productivity will be in the set place for things to move along and for business and deals to be in result of success. For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better for our super and my super success together!

I commit myself to encourage my children and my wife to convey to them and for themselves to express themselves as simply as possible and directly to the point and with no extra. Unless our kids do not understand what we are saying as mother and father to them and with them, because we have to understand where they are at and their actual understanding. And to help prepare them in the best ways possible for education, emotional stability and along with financial stability, so they can be able to be self-sufficient in this world for the better. So they can be able to truly create something meaningful and special in this world and the people around us for the better. For as i see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better!

I commit myself to become more and more effective in the way I present myself and the relationship I have with myself and with others as well. And how I am able to convey information in a simple and straight to the point and direct way, for others to understand and to be able to move forward with, and if they do not understand it, that is okay, I’ll ask if they do surface some type of concern. And keep it simple as it is and should be, always for the better. For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better!

I commit myself to forgive myself of what is not best within me, and write breathing statements to realise that if a reaction were to come up again, of any kind, I will stop and breathe and redirect into an effective pause for myself. And for whomever is involved or not at all, then to write realisation statements along the way after the statement has been written, to realise what I have reacted to and had reacted to and how I had not yet to or have realised that what I was doing specifically was not best for me, nor for the other parties that were involved. In final steps, I commit myself to write self commitment self commitment statements to re-correct myself into what is best for me and for others and how I conduct and interact with others much more effectively for the better! Using the tools of the group of people as support, TechnoTutor, Desteni I Process, the Desteni blogs to rebirth into what is life for the better! For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better!