Employee and a Slave
I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that i
am still operating like an employee and a slave, who is still seeking
advice and not even doing it as it was said and not even bothering to do
the information and actually learn it as it is for myself. And how I am
so afraid of being on alert to someone else and how I have yet to
realise that for myself and how things have never come to fruition for
me. It has been quite some time for me to fuck around and do things that
are not in my own best interest. Even when i am working for my own
self, as self employed, as if i am employing an employee and a slave,
employing a slave, that i think that i am and how it just a lived long
lived so long lived lie my whole entire life. And how nothing ha sever
yet to change of slavery of my own self and my own thinking and my own
ways of living and speaking and daily conduction to my own electricity
that is barley even going anywhere. To and through one ld little circuit
going to nowhere and to no man’s land for the worst. And how being an
employee of someone else as if I am my own employee now and how i used
to never do anything around and was always so god damn obligated to do
something, just so I was so hard enough and was hiding just so I won't
get fired and lose my own job. And how i am operating myself as a slave
and employee, fearing I might fire myself and go back to being a slave
like i already was and still am right now. And how that doesn’t settle
within me that well at all whatsoever.
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to not realise that being a slave is not
what’s best for all, and not what’s best for me, because i will always
enslave myself if i fear firing myself, as if I was being feared and
afraid of being and lazy from the jobs I used to work. And how nothing
ever mattered and the people as well, because I wasn’t that good at
dealing with others and the other crap that was within me as a human
being and my mind construct wasn’t in the best shape it could’ve been,
until i did get abruptly fired. And lost my job(s) and didn’t have any
income coming in, so i would be lazy and not do anything and just be at
home and never do anything for myself or either for anyone at all
really. I just didn’t have a purpose for myself and I still don’t, it’s
like I’m still moving by and barely getting by, with not the amount of
money that i want that isn’t even in my own account(s) that I wanted to
be there. But evidently it was not there and is not there at all
whatsoever. It feels as if it is an empty purpose of a purse with
nothing in it but numbers to detail prove my worth, when in fact, I
truly don’t know how to create. I only created and done to others things
for others and nothing ever was created, it was just an assembly line
to get things going, nothing was ever created or made, it was just in
it’s own construct and blinded and blamed within dishonesty as there was
no self honesty within that moment and time of those era’s of jobs and
slavery times that weren’t in my best interest at all whatsoever. And
how i feared having to hide and do nothing and be on my phone all day
and do nothing and not converse with customers because I was always
taught to be a slave, so i decided to be one, and never anything else
for the better. It was always for the worst, never anything better,
never anything good, it was always just getting by for what I had
settled for, and I was and still is and am still settling for nothing
and complacency and mediocrity as if it were to be a real thing, when in
fact, i am a living detrimental way of life and live a mediocre life as
if were to be a real thing, when in fact I have lived a lie. And have
come to believe that this was not supposed to be me, but it was only the
thing that I am dealt with, otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing this and
helping you read this, and as I read and type this out to you and I and
for all to whomever may be exposed to this atrocity, as a slave, a pawn,
a loser, a mediocre person, still thinking i have it and so called
“making that money”. But still being in a job, i’d rather not be
delusional and insult myself more and more into thinking that I am still
working for an hourly job, fearing if I don't work hard enough or not
enough at all, then i’ll just fire myself or quit easily and lose more
of my self trust as the slave and a pawn I ever was i deep self
dishonesty that was never in my best interest at all whatsoever. And
fearing over being feared while working for myself, is another way and
in reality of hypocrisy for the worst as it is at all, whatsoever.
I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parents as father
and mother to enslave our son and child as a slave as he is and how he
will never make it out just like us and how we are slaves. Working
harder and harder and safely without wanting to be feared and working
harder enough to ever be fired and not constituted into some random
place that isn’t even at our own best interest at heart at all
whatsoever. And how intense this feels to be a pawn and a slave and how
neutral and suppress we’ve been and I’ve been as a father and mother to
be doing to ourselves and not realising how we put him through the
school system, just because we could never read and it wasn’t in our
intention to have to want to read. We only make it an excuse to put our
son into the public school system and of course to send him across the
state to learn and guess what?, nothing ever changed, nor did he learn
anything valuable for his life. When in reality and in fact, it was all a
lie and not the best way of learning and was always based on grades to
determine their mental acuity and honors would’ve been determined for
the same as well as slaves and pawns of the system and our system itself
as the mind and body. As a physical energy substance. So why we sent
him to public school, because we never could express ourselves properly
and effectively because we had an inefficient and horrible vocabulary to
even teach him something and we had no choice but to send him off and
leave him and never truly take care of him truly for the better at all
whatsoever. It was never in our best intention to do so, but it was the
only thing we knew best and better for and had no other avenue to
educate our son but the public school system and it’s teachers who don't
know anything but the very little of the amount of what it takes to
truly learn and apply. As the little part of the pen of the ball point,
is how much they know of what it is like to be formalized and as a slave
and a pawn just like we were and still are as parents and never even
bothered to change at all whatsoever. Teachers know nothing about
learning at all whatsoever, even the same way with us as well as parents
and how we know literally nothing and don't’ know how to do anything at
all whatsoever, but to only “do our jobs” as an excuse to not realise
what we could’ve different, and now it feels as if it irreversible for
the worst and nothing can truly change as we can do nothing ourselves
but continue to waste more time and do nothing as how we’ve done our
whole entire lives and how that influenced our son and child to do the
same thing as if that's the way to live life as a lazy slave and a pawn
employee who works for a corporation, a job, our own job and corporation
and be so worked up in our own emotions and feelings and misled logic
and with emotion when it was not so sure to be decisive for. And was
always asking how do I do it?How do I do this?, is this it?, when in
reality, I could not process information effectively, so that was why, I
was always questioning and never truly learned for anything and for the
better at all whatsoever. So yes, it was always hard and there was
basically you know, not real change, there wasn’t anything being
applied, it was just brushed off and done nothing about it and left it
to be and that was it. So we never really knew what real learning and
being effective truly ever was. So abdicated our responsibility and made
our son do the same unconsciously to the subconscious act and to the
conscious act to be a lazy slave and pawn like us and do nothing and do
just more or just enough to not get fired and. And if you and I don’t do
enough, then we’ll lose our jobs and places in a cog system that we
thought was best, but in reality, it was not. What a load of crap
right?, I think so. And how i as a father and mother never really taught
our son to ever create a business to do what is best, instead taught
him to be a slave just like us and get a job and do nothing with his
life. And now that we try to complaint hat he’s nothing, when in
reality, we are doing nothing as well, and complaining and comparing as
if he’s got it better, when we don’t at all ourselves, being incompetent
and inadequate in our own questions and ways. And how we never truly
actually questioned anything about being in a job for some reason and
having to work a paycheck to get my own way and pay and pave my own way
through and within limitations. Because apparently, I've gotten nowhere,
and was so afraid to not work hard enough to not get fired, and it was
always a big fear and it was for the forest, of the worst. Finding no
way out, but having to set up camp and settle for 30-40-50-60-70 years
of setting up camp and not ever improving and innovating and creating
for the better with true real living change. Evidently the forests got
chopped down and our camp got dismantled, and soon we were left with
nothing after all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself as parents as mother and father to allow our son to be a slave
just like us, even when we had jobs and a business, and perceived the
business as a job and “work.” and how in reality, we allowed him to be a
slave and get a job to get money for now, how we advocated him to be
more of a slave, get an education through college and get a doctors
degree or a lawyer and be part of a idiot system where nobody fucking
knows anything but the fucking shitty ass system itself. And how I was
only setting for the worst, and never for the better, it was only for
the worst, never for the better, because we never knew any how and-any
better. Because guess, what?, we were too damn stupid to even figure out
what it could’ve been to truly be free instead of a slave to our own
mind, to our own jobs, fearing enough to not be fired and not have a job
anymore and have to work a little harder and more harder and make it
difficult upon us in self dishonesty and deception to think that we
don’t like that and this anymore. And complain about a change when I
have done nothing for a change and sat there and here and there all damn
day, thinking when am I going to get something better, when in reality i
am only hoping and taking more of the hopium drug within my mind
thinking things will change magically ,when in reality it is only me who
can change that no one else for me. And complaining about it, will
never get me far at all whatsoever and how cringing it is for me to
complain and be in complex and latency of my own ways and living as if
being a slave and a pawn and employee of my own and to others as the
best way to preserve my life so it can be safe and never anything to
rock the boat so no one ever learns how to swim if something goes bad or
wrong at all whatsoever to begin with from the starting point. As the
starting point is the end point, if there is on purpose, when in reality
there was no purpose at all whatsoever. Nothing, zilch, nada, NEIT!
OKAY?! OKAY!!
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself
as a friend, teacher, parent, parents, friends, so called friends,
media, society, advertisements, movies to persuade others and this young
man and/or person to be enslaved and to do nothing with his life. And
beget a job and I need to be assured and reassured again that he got the
job and how he has nothing to do with his life as my life is turning
into crap as if nothing is going on in my life. For me to influence that
upon him, the blind, leading the blind, when in reality it was only a
frequential band to something in the near future for a better
opportunity, but it only felt so the same and never any different at all
whatsoever. That being the same of a slave at a job, will be no
different if there is no real living change and stability within
development, as there was none, and always competition to get rid of one
another to think that this is the best way possible to get rid of
someone from the last minute waiting for everyone to leave. And to be
someone who doesn't want to fire anyone for what it is and what was at
and. And how i as another employee was so afraid to fire someone, when
in fact, I was afraid of firing myself as well, and sooner or later I
would eventually leave and retire and be a lazy fool and fire myself as
well, and not do anything with my life as if i’ve gotten everything in
order for the better. When in fact, and reality, I do not have a single
thing in order, it is all nothing but a phony like symphony full of
nothing but fear and sounds going off in stones and horrible horrific
sounds that never made it to the crowds as they left to be the strongest
will thrive, when in reality, that is not true when it comes to being
in a job, and being fired just because of competition with an employer
like employee of his own business doesn’t even know what the hell he is
doing, but going back and forth in a same direction thinking this is the
best way, for as i have thought for many years as well. And how i have
now come to realise, it was never in my best interest at all whatsoever.
When and as I see myself fearing getting fired and being and
acting like an employee and a slave, I stop and breathe, and that it is
not me, and redirect that I am the entrepreneur of my life and with
others that are creators as well. I realise that being a slave will not
give me any opportunity or anything very far, unless i do something with
it and move with it, instead of sitting here and doing nothing at all
whatsoever, thinking someone or something is going to fly out of the sky
and reappear and appear into my possession and presence. To offer me
something, when in reality, it is just nothin but a complaining fantasy
to think that there is really something that’s going to save me, when in
reality nothing is going to save me. But me myself and that’s the
bottom line.
I commit myself to help my children and employees
and directors, senior partners, to truly know what an entrepreneur
really is and what it is like to be part of a company and a creator and
innovator really is as I am becoming much more better within myself and
my own creation for the better as well. And to teach them, and improve
and provide materials and be able to learn from them and anyone
practically, and that we learn from anyone and everyone, no matter who
it is, and we will decide our discernment effectively and truly become
effective within ourselves. And for myself as well included for the
better and truly become creative and innovative creators along the way
with the proper and effective support of training, care and affection,
communication and support and proper attention. For as I see myself a
life and life resonance awareness to improve and adapt for the better of
my and our super and super super success! Within the provided material
of books, audios, events, relationships and most importantly,
Recognition to truly improve and be inspired and seen and realised for
the better as one and equal individuals for the better!
I commit
myself to challenge those who try to be complacent and lazy and
incompetent to whomever try to think that laziness and being a slave and
a pawn and an employee of their own ways and think it is best. And to
challenge them or whomever with respect and dignity, that it is not that
way, and it is much more better to change for the better, not in
limitation but to be grateful where we are and to improve now within the
tools we have and to go all out and test it out and be truly creative
and innovative for the better. And that no one can stop anyone, unless
they stop themselves from deliberately letting it be that way. For as I
see myself as life and life resonance awareness to improve and adapt for
the better!
I commit myself to write self forgiveness to forgive
myself of what is not best within me and to realise that and then
through self realisation statements to realise what i had reacted to
that was not in my best interest at all whatsoever. Within that, I
commit myself to write self commitment statements to re-correct myself
into what is best for me and how I conduct myself and interact with
others and truly become my best self each and every day for the better
and truly become someone to be emulated and admired for for my super
super super success! And to use the tools of Self forgiveness and self
corrective application, and to live the living change, within the tools
of TechnoTutor, desteni and the journeys and heavens to life blogs and
to truly become my best self and to live the living change for the
better. For as I see myself as life and life resonance awareness to
improve and adapt for the better!
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