Day 18: Do you even KNOW what you're talking about?

 

 You don’t know what you’re talking about?(Read aloud and breathe)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when people said to me you don’t know what you're talking about I get all nervous and obstructed in my resonance and being as if I couldn’t get to the point of saying what is. Instead of trying to tell a story and getting locked into a loophole, without even getting to the bottom of the story and/or what eleven I’m about to say that’s direct and simple. And if people react, that’s just me walking through the resistance that’s it. Of course there is much more to it, however it is that simple.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a teacher, parent, society, friends, associates, tv shows, tv shows as movies, movies, and much more that are under the sun, to me to be imprinted and impose as an imposter to act in such ways of feeling as if it was a threat. When in reality, it was only from a movie, and seeing thing as it is, but I just couldn’t understand what they truly meant when another person was saying to me, and to others and how my parents had done this atrocity to me, and I try yo bicker back and make them feel much more worse than they are. And how I am as well, trying to stand my ground, but I’m shaking like hell, because it’s out of what I've never experienced before, just because I need to tell and express myself in an insulting way that isn’t what’s best for all. It’s only viewing me and my own self as a superiority, when in fact, I am just another inferiority just thinking that I am what I am and this who I will become when the trouble comes. And I will be able to deal with it somehow, and someway, and if it doesn’t turn out good, then I am just making a scene and a fool out of myself in front of other people, as if I was surrounded by other people and also embarrassing myself as if I haven’t a clue of what to say, and felt so anxious in front of this person, as I saw in a school, home, or anywhere. And how I never considered another, and to tell them they don’t know what they’re talking about, when I could’ve asked a question to see what he/she could clarify on, instead I just made an automatic pattern and impulse to impress upon myself that I think I know what I’m talking about. When in fact, I am just downplaying my game, on little people, and not talking to others in the same way when I do approach other adults and how they won’t understand and how they hear me complaining to them. About how I was just curious if people ever knew what the hell they were talking about, without even getting this nervousness that isn’t even real, but what has accepted and allowed us to live out this impulsive emotion and feeling. Either it is me from a movie, that is an actor, or whatever the case may be for, and how it clearly does not make any sense, when in fact, if I don’t know what I am talking about, I get anxious and then sooner or later, or in instant, I end up blindsiding my own self with another thought and have a blank mind, and then there is nothing to show myself after for. When in reality, I am only operating off of my foundation that isn’t even stable as an adult and to my other co-workers, business partners, friends, etcetera. And how If I don’t know what else to say, I get this instant type of quantum time reaction that doesn’t come out to anything and when it is about to be said, it’s swallowed back down and nothing came out of my mouth, because my mind was just too slow to the fact and/or opinion that was being presented to me as if it were to be real. When in reality it is just outside of me, and letting this particular fascinating thing affect me, whether good or bad and when it does come up in an instant for me, I get awestruck by striking myself emotionally, as I was struck emotionally and physically from another person. Who never had their best intentions in me and towards me, and even for themselves at all whatsoever either. Because the starting point was and was always the ending point, if nothing was done for what’s best for all, no matter what it may be, in contradiction or not at all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I hear the phrase you don’t know what you’re talking about, and saying it constantly in my head, or someone in attempt tries to say it to me. It feels as if it is a threat, when in fact, it is not, it’s that, if I don’t know of a subject, I will of course obviously anxious about what is not even within me. Within that, it just feels as if it is a threat ready to flourish into physical violence and altercation as if someone took something so seriously and didn’t even know what the statement even meant, because in reality, if they’re too stupid to realise, then it is, because I used to be there too. And it not feel good or bad or anything, it was just never neutral as I thought it to be, but it only came up as if I wanted to prepare to fight someone, when in fact, I am only fighting myself as if I wanted to fight another for a mistaken phrase and direct statement to me and at me. And how of course, I didn’t like that, because it just suited me to experience such a thing like that as if someone wanted to hurt me. When it was just an unnecessary threat that I thought was to be real, and how I didn’t even know what was going on, when someone first said to me, when I was much younger than I am, or even recently for this to be brought up once again on multiple occasions or whenever it was.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself a disney character and some type of duck, to tell my audience and present them to say that you don’t know what you’re talking about in a coarse voice. And how it’s so small, and then telling this to another character and then they end up reacting and in a funny way, when in fact, this is another form and reality of telling the whole nation, if they speak up, they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Once they open their mouths and try to speak with something that they know of, when in reality, it is only coming from me, and also how people are being taught and treated in the home, in their formative years. And how for me to tell another character to shut up and say you don’t know what you’re talking about, to dafney or whomever, this name character is and how my characters really never had the best interest in me, to be making me act this way. Because in fact and reality, my creators, had this notion as well and didn’t even know that their parents and other people, movies, tv shows, tv shows movies, society, friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, friend however to tell them and then to make me say, you don’t know what you’re talking about. And then as I was saying it, my voice was dying down and how I lost breath as i was saying it and expressing it in a very angry way, and how it seemed so funny to my viewers. But in fact, they never knew what it is like to tell someone that as if it were to be some type of insult that isn’t what’s best to another, just because I am trying to make another shut up and not talk anymore, if something were to come up in our lives for the worst. Thinking that we’re more superior than another, when in fact, we were just too blind to the fact that we will never see each other as one and equal people, and plainly just different mindset and environment and life. And how my creators never had the best interest within me and for the viewers, who will do this atrocity that I will be acting for others and little children to see me as who I am and what I am and how others will BECOME ME, to a varying degree. When in fact, I am nothing but a fantasy not realising that I am just a fake person and character, just being voiceover by some woman or whomever it is, to distort my voice to sound like this in the sound booth. When it was all a strategy to down the nation in positivity, without even realising what the hell is behind those screens and the true process of going through it for me to be created. And how the true intent of the corporation as well, and how everyone is just accepting me and who I am and what I am, when in fact, that is just a pure lie and pure bullshit. My creators have manipulated me into making the nation in a positive laughing sense, when in fact, it was just another control mechanism to gain more power. And let other people watch me and see me as stupidity and amusing to witness. And how in reality, it is telling the nation, to watch your mouth in threat, when it was made to tell others and influence others to be in the trance and not question me and/or anything that is presented. No matter how good, or not, if it is not investigated, nothing ever will be deemed to be and redeemed as an investigated truth, when in reality, it was just an accepted lie that was not what was best for all, at all whatsoever.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a parent to tell my child to him/her to shut up and when in reality, I am only just telling him/her that, just because I didn’t want to hear anything more out of the child’s mouth. And having to tell them in fact and reality, in another sense, that he/she doesn’t know what he/she’s even talking about. Just because I need to have the say and not want my child to speak up and ask a question, when I never even tried to present another way to help my child investigate what the truth even is. Because unfortunately i never knew the truth myself, so I had to express my threat and make someone feel and be silenced as an imprint and impose a threat to make another just shut up and not talk and not even say a word. Just because no one ever bothered to ask and challenge the point. Because in reality I was afraid myself to say it, but it came out as an impulsive automatic pattern, that would’ve fucked me anyway, because my starting point was fucked and consequentially, it was my ending point. And sooner or later, it came out to be what it was and how my child never came to question just because I thought it was the right way to do and go about anything. When in fact and reality, I am only just self interested and too stupid to the fact, that I couldn’t hold myself back and communicate in a calm stable way, because I never had that, I never had stable parents, friends and/or anyone at all whatsoever. Because no one ever supported me, so this is the way I am and how I presented myself as some person who wasn’t taught to be the best and have manners, and instead I only made it worse for others and for myself especially, no matter how hard I tried to reverse the automatic pattern. It always came out in the worst ways possible, and no one ever came out to see the benefit of anything, it was always the benefit of the doubt, as a contradiction, no one ever came out to learn the proper lesson without any physical altercation, punishment or anything of that matter at all whatsoever. Nothing, nada, not a thing was even to be existent to be what was best for all, because it was never thought of in the first place, in my own assumption and fear and trembling trouble for myself and for others and now onto my child for the worst.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as the media, to tell the nation, they don’t know what they’re talking about, when I don't know what I am talking about either. When in fact, I am the one who is spreading abuse and toleration for my own abuse to myself and to tell others to not question anything, no matter what it was and is in the time being, just because I was taught the same way, and how I was taught what to say and how to say it, as it was threatened to me. And now I am told what to say on the teleprompter, as this message is not even me, it is only what I am accepting and allowing and being manipulated, just so I can make my check in millions of dollars a year and year after and year and year after. And to finally never question the point of why I even wanted the job in the first place t tell lies, and no truth at all whatsoever, even n that fact, I am also telling myself the lies as well, and living them right in front of the nation that is watching me or whoever has the channel onto me and witnessing me with this whole atrocity as an ingenious person who is just nothing but another fake personality persona like being and person just because of greed and self interest to my own way and liking that I thought to be within this presentation as it is and for what it is, nothing else.

When and as I see myself wanting to tell another to shut up and threaten them with it, I stop and breathe, and redirect, to question why what they’re saying for what they’re saying, no matter what it is and challenge it with respect and dignity. I realise that telling anther you don’t know what you’re talking about is always coming from someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about either, and how I never knew about the meaning, until this very moment as I am writing and reading aloud as I was never taught the better way of stability and explanation to a child that I used to be and now for this to come up within my life. Is now forgiven as I am for giving to myself and of others as well.

When and as I see myself wanting to feel this tremble and troubling feeling, therefore, I realise that it is not me, if I don’t know something, then I need to investigate it and learn about it, and therefore, I stop and breathe and do so. I realise that having a troubling anxious feeling is in reality another form of not able to be of knowledge of a certain subject and also stability as well. And if I don’t know something, I will get just so anxious, just because someone told me that I don’t know anything and how I don’t know what I am talking about, just because I was just naive at the time and was not aware of what I was even talking about, because I never had the inclination to investigate such a thing at all, or anything at all for that matter. I just never thought about it, just never considered it, because no one ever seemed to tell me, and I just held onto it like a punch in the stomach and that was it. Nothing was sought after for that, I just moved and felt this weird depression, like what the hell is with me?, you know? It's like if you were talking and you tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about and instantly insult me after, and not tell me what it means and give me some type of consideration. Like dude, i think that’s bullshit, and here’s why, like don’t be naive and impose that on me. I’m not stupid, so let’s talk about and challenge that.

I commit myself to become knowledgeable and apply information and discern and challenge certain aspects and any information that is presented, whether it if it being deemed as true, or just plainly set as is. And if it not investigated further, then where are we going?, are we trying to make it an end pint of no man’s land or no?, let’s investigate it, see what it is and for it is, and if it is worthy of merit, we shall move within it and see where this goes. Especially as we are in business and seek this out, no one should be assuming anything, to always ask, and question all and everything in the best ways possible and of respect and dignity for the other, no matter who it is. For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better!

I commit myself to teach and help my kids and wife, to question things and truly understand something and to help them in a stable common sense ability and to where they are able to understand what is being presented with more information to be able to know what this is and how it is and how it works. Anything at all, with commonsense and practicality for as it is, and also to be aware of what they will be imposed upon and to be careful with that, since they are at a different perspective than I am. To help them understand and be able to learn and become stable and have a much better childhood and adulthood as well, for the better. For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better!

I commit myself to help my employee’s, directors, senior partners, lawyers, accountants, bankers, customers, clients, to question things, with respect and dignity, and not just accept one thing as it is, depending on what it is. And to discern it as we are making something meaningful within the world and with ourselves within it, and how we can make this place and the people around us a better environment for growth and see it from a different point of view, and to consider it and discern it as it is, and how it could be in a different direction for success for the better. And to see better ways of innovating and being truly in the best creative state as well, for the better, for as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better my and our super super super super super success!

I commit myself to write self forgiveness to forgive myself of what is not best within me, and how If it is constantly being repeated in some type way, I will write self forgiveness and realise them through self realisation statements. For what I have and had reacted to, that was not in my best interest at all whatsoever, and to breathe with the breathing flag point stations, if it were to ever come again, Ii will stop and breathe and redirect for the better. Within that, I commit myself to write self commitment statements to re-correct myself into what is best for me and how I conduct myself and interact with others on a daily basis and regular basis, in business or not. Wherever I am, to live the living change as well, and to use the tools of TechnoTutor, self forgiveness and self corrective application to live the living change, within the blogs of journeys and heavens’ to life blogs, to become to rebirth what I want to be and become for the better. For as I see myself as and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better, to live the living change for the better!