Tired
(Read aloud and Breathe)
I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that
when I do get tired, I don’t feel like actually committing to something,
even if it feels as if I am wasting my time in any way and how I feel
like I am not a bearable mood to do what was recommended to me. And/or
if I even recommend it to myself, even if it is something that I have
been doing wrong this whole time and now I have to start over and how
that pains me to see what I have to do again, to start all over, as if
my all efforts were pretty for nothing. And how that made me sad and
discouraged, but I knew If I do it the correct way, and the right way
the first time to re correct the way I do things, then I will be able to
get effective amazing results. And how I feel so tired, in having to
restart and do something that I don’t want to do, even though it is
simple, and how I have wasted my time and how I have never truly valued
my time truly, no wonder I am tired at the end of each and everything
that i do, no matter if it is waking up, doing my daily routine,
whatever it is for business, and/or life. Going with colleagues to a
place, hanging out or going wherever, and how that pains me, to see that
I have to do something so entirely over again and how I am just merely
wasting my time, and tiring myself out, and getting no results, just
because I think I need to be doing all of this by myself, and I am
clearly not getting far as I would like to. Even though I did learn a
lot, but my efforts were missing one component, and it was such a simple
process and how i missed that, no wonder my life is the way it is, just
because I think that my way is the better way, and if i don’t obey and
listen in some type of way, I remember my parents doing this to me, and
forcing me to do things, even though I didn’t want to do it. It was not
my truest ambition to listen to people who abused me, who never cared
about, people who always interrupt me, just because I am not either
conveying myself clearly in my speech and message and idea or someone
just wants to just continuously cut me off, just because I’m some other
person that they don’t like and just to completely reject me as if I am
not valuable person to anyone, because I know that no one gives a fuck,
not even a care in this world. And how I have come to the point when I
don’t care about myself, I get tired of the pain and how I don’t even
know what to do exactly, and get blank minded and stare into space,
almost tears running down my cheeks. How this unnecessary pain that I am
causing myself, is not what I should be doing, as if I was blaming
another person for someone to make me start over and not get any help or
whatever it is. And how it is only me who is accusing me, and how my
parents accused me and blamed me, and how tired I got of their
complaints and how it would be so annoying that I would yell back at
them and how I would get tired so easily to the point where the anger
was overruling me and of course I got nowhere with it. Not even an inch
to be far enough in my process to grow, instead it was an abusive
backward tracking to nowhere, to man's land, to no opportunity, to being
rejected so easily as if I couldn’t even finish my own question and
answer to someone with someone trying to quickly deny me. And how it
hurts me as if I am dwelling on what someone is doing to me, when in
fact they are also doing that to themselves and how I saw other people
react as well, how I know now, how it gets really emotional at home for
other people and their kids. Even the same thing was in my household, it
was never any different, it was always the same to some type of varying
degree of course. But I never knew the fact that I was getting pretty
tired of how I was living, I didn’t like what I was doing, so I had to
get out and never follow any instructions of what someone else was
saying to me. I always disobeyed everyone, I never cared for other
peoples’ questions and answers, I always disregarded people, because i
thought they were stupid, when in fact, they were, but it was just me
that was being so stupid and undermining others as if i knew more. When
in fact and reality, the hard truth came to me, that I in fact, actually
knew nothing, and that I am wasting my time in dishonesty, not knowing
how to tell or do anything at all whatsoever.
I forgive myself
for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when i am tired of
doing what other people want me to do, i just don’t want to do it, i
always knew my way was better because I was getting actual results and
how all of this came from my parents and I would always rebel them and
not follow their instructions, because i knew it was abuse, that’s I
always distanced myself from them and never associated with them, even
if it was very uncomfortable for me to even deal with them and to do
what they wanted to me do. And how this led me into the marathon of a
short race, so long, but yet so short, because of my disobedience and
not wanting to do what other people are doing, even if it was for the
other person becoming truly better at what they were doing and how I was
never in true actual realisation that what someone was doing was
better, and they were actually getting my results, and how the saying
went, if you don’t do it my way, then it is the highway to your own
peril. And how i followed it with my way and going to the highway, as in
a sense off what the others were saying to me, if I didn't want to
follow instructions from someone that i didn’t like and didn’t want to
take advice from, because i knew the way I was doing what i was doing,
that i was getting pretty far. But evidently, it wasn’t that far enough
as i expected and seeing the pictures and winning pictures and movies
within my mind to see my outcome of my victory, when in fact, the way I
was doing things, was not really getting me far, and it was not lining
up with my efforts and the way i was specifically doing my way and the
process to it. And how I found myself where I am in my life, because of
abuse and being so tired of trying to obey others who I thought to
myself in assumption and thinking that no one knows best but me. And how
I will never follow anyone, when in fact, I was following myself in my
own way, but I never got far, I was only following myself into oblivion
for the worst. No results, no achievement, no nothing, and how whatever I
did, I did not get that far at all whatsoever in whatever I wanted to
do, business, work, life in general, like i never wanted to follow
anyone, and how this was from my parents who influenced me to disobey
them, because of the ulterior motives of their abuse, to stop me and
manipulated me and cheat me at every chance they get to hurt me. And how
I never got so far and even bothered to have my way out of my
situation, because I thought I could do everything on my own, even if I
knew how and saw the outcome of what I wanted. But in fact and evidence,
I never got so far at all whatsoever. The people around me, and who i
grew up around, never knew any better to teach me, and if i followed
them, I wouldn’t be in this position that i am in my life, full of anger
and sadness, not being in the position that i want to be in my life,
financially, and emotionally, environmentally, and how I have been in
the same environment for so long, no matter how hard i am trying to
succeed and make money. I am not getting far, it’s been so far, so hard
and difficult to the fact that i am not wanting to see what i have been
wasting my time on, or either being so tired that I now realizing my
trouble for not obeying to people who have the results and who have the
results and evidence of what i want, but if I don’t listen, then what
now?Am I willing to get far?, am i willing to do what is best for me?,
am i willing to listen to the people who are doing the right things and
the correct things, to get where they are?, if not, then i am not going
to get what I want. And sooner or later, I will never realise what I
have tired myself out to now finally hear the truth, that I should’ve
done this particular procedure, and if it hasn’t worked out for me, I
get tired easily and don’t want to do anything for myself, nor for
anyone. I don’t care and don’t want to know who it is at all whatsoever.
Not even a question and answer, and how i want to deny everyone, and
how i still want to go back into my old ways of doing, that I am not
necessarily getting pretty far in what my process is of doing when it
comes to business and learning and education, life in general and what
it could’ve been for me, if i had just listened to the right people who
have what i want. But instead i always rebelled against my parents,
because i knew they were stupid, they know nothing, therefore, I never
listened to them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself as parents as mother and father to abuse our child to make him
rebel and disobey us, because we only wanted to hurt him and make him
sad and angered. By cheating him, manipulating him into our ways, just
because we thought it was better, and every now then he would he always
want to do his own thing, and never listen to us, and always deny us in
saying that we don’t know anything and how we can’t teach him, because
in fact and reality, we never knew anything, no wonder we had to cheat
him and manipulate him at each and opportunity and chance to make him do
what we want him to do, in fact, no matter what he does in his life,
because of this incident that we have caused to him and at him. He will
never make it in his life, due to our ways of teaching him, whoever he
listens to and does things to succeed, there’s no way in hell, he’s
going to make it in our own assumption, because we thought and accused
him and bluffed and said that he knew everything and knows everything,
and how we were saying it in a jealous way in attempt to trying to make
him feel bad about himself, as if he should be paying attention to us so
we can cheat him again and manipulate him. No wonder we haven’t gotten
very far in our lives and how the way we have taught our child, and how
our son will never get far either, no matter what he does, he will never
follow instructions, even if it is just simple things for education
and/or in business as well, when it comes to that, he will not get very
far, because his foundation as a child and person wasn’t that very good,
it was very unstable and emotional, instability beyond belief, so much
abuse to the point where he would cry and his eyes would be bloodshot.
We never knew why we did what we did, because it was only our way of
teaching and upbringing from us and how we had to do the same thing to
our son, and if we didn’t he would never learn a lesson, instead we only
taught it with abuse, nothing ever more. No wonder our family doesn’t
ever eat together, we don’t talk, we don’t have a great relationship
together, we don’t do anything together at all whatsoever, like
absolutely nothing. Whatever he does, he will never obey and want to do
his thing, even if he thinks it is right, then it is right, but we don’t
even know, because we’re never notified of what he does, nor should we
even know, because we can’t even help him, because we can’t even help
ourselves to what we should’ve been doing for the better, and to do
what’s best for all. But within that, we never could, because we never
knew what to do that was best for all, therefore, we abdicated
everything, and abused everything, therefore, life was never something
good for us, nor ever it was for our son at all. There was always some
type of varying degree of instability of all kinds, beyond belief,
because we were also unstable, irrational with emotions, expressions,
articulations, and irrational in expression, and speech and demand and
abuse. Manipulation and cheating our son to do what we wanted him to do,
at every chance we ever got, but somehow, that always turned into a
major havoc, and it has been happening for many years on end, with no
stop to it, even recently, it has stopped. But we have noticed, our son
hasn’t gotten very far to what he is doing, that for we know, he thinks
he knows it all in our own assumption, but in reality and fact, he knows
absolutely nothing, no wonder he hasn’t gotten very far and made money.
And how we are in fact in the same boat as well, ready to crash at any
moment and lose out food and supplies if we crash into an iceberg at any
particular moment. Not ever knowing when, but we are just surviving,
therefore, we will get to make of something and amount to anything, nor
will our son, with the way he’s doing things, not a chance, not a
possibility of anything at all whatsoever.
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself as a father to want to constantly complain
to my son thatI am tired of his disobedience and want to complain and
beg him to obey me, instead of disobeying me. And how in assumption and
reality, I am only making myself tired of the copy that i have created
in instability to the point where my own copy mechanism will never
follow what I want him to do, and if he continues to do this, I am
always wanting to complain and saying I’m so tired of you, and want you
to obey to me and stop making trouble and confusing me, and obey to me
and never question me. Because I know everything as well, and you should
too, even if we don’t know anything ad how I have caused you so much
havoc, anger, resentment, trouble, and beyond belief, loud arguing and
bickering back and forth and shutting doors and slamming them and
pushing each other around and wanting to hurt one another. When we were
both too cowardly to each hurt each other physically, because if I did
he would hurt me and I would be afraid for my life, because I am weak
wanting to hurt my own son, just because he doesn't want to do what I
want him to do. Even if it is simple and how I don’t even know how to
convey my message and ideas across, it’s always in unexplained energy
that doesn't even make sense to the point where I misunderstand him, and
how he will never understand me to the point where his life will be
worth anything. As my life is worth nothing and shitty and unhealthy as
well, because I don't even know how to do anything but be a cheating
manipulative slave, and how my son will be the same. In whatever he
wants to do in his life. It will never be a true success, if he doesn’t
know what it means to succeed, because i in fact, never knew either, I
always wanted to tear him down and never make him do anything that I
wanted him to do. No wonder he is so disobedient and wanting to do his
own thing, therefore, life will never be that much of a great honor to
live if I hadn’t truly abused him and manipulated him and cheated and
resented him to complain and make him do what I want him to do in
manipulation and cheating him in every chance I got. Just because I
don’t like and misunderstand the way he is expressing himself to me,
when in fact, we don’t have an effective vocabulary to even communicate
with each other. No wonder there is so much havoc and misunderstanding
and a lot of yelling and a whole bunch of trouble and kicking him out
multiple times, because it was the way I was taught to live and express
and experience life as it is, in pure instability and trouble and havoc
and resentment beyond belief, being so unstable to the point where no
matter what he and I do in life. We will never get far in our lives, due
to our programming as if it feels as if it irreversible, when in fact,
we are both realising it now, that his whole life and my life, was being
held and experienced in havoc, and wasted time to not follow
instructions and be rebellious and go do our own things. And when we did
our own things, we had to get help and/or get no help, and say for
myself that I’ve got it and don’t want the help, and how i noticed that
within myself even when my son was trying to help me, I always wanted to
shoo him away and say to back off and fuck off, I got it. When in fact
and reality, I was only doing it the hard way, the not so simplistic
way, I always did the disorderly way and unorganized and inefficient and
ineffective way, therefore, I never got far within whatever I wanted to
do at all whatsoever. It was never of a virtue for me to help him, nor
did i even want the help, because I ALSO thought that I, FUCKING I,
thought I could do EVERYTHING on my own as well, and how my son was
influenced by that, and how he knew that I was doing all of everything
on my own and never got help, never got success, it was soon bound to be
a failure for the worst. And how this particular behavior mechanisms of
mine, that showed to me and my son that we both thought we knew we
could do all things on our own. And if we tried to do anything else and
think we’ve got it all on our own and never express any sort of help and
assistance, it is bound for mediocre results, as always, and how our
lives have shown to be where it is today. Standing in a halt to go
nowhere, not ever to be effective as individuals and as blood family,
tarnished family name, tarnished relationship, tarnished halted
advancement and expression, emotional instability, abuse, beyond belief
abuse of cheating, manipulation, fear based manipulation and cheating,
within threats for resentment to give back something that was mine and
how i had to threaten to call the cops on him if he didn’t do what i
wanted him to do. Just because I always wanted to misunderstand myself
and to do the same thing to him, no wonder he did the same thing in
disrespect to me and how he does to other people. And how I act
differently around other people and how I have to act in abuse to my
own son, just because he didn't want to do what I wanted him to do for
that I thought that was best for him. When in and fact and reality, it
was just ineffective abuse, threatening, cheating, manipulation,
stealing, and all tied within being tired of the mess that I have caused
to myself and now I have to blame myself for what he is doing that I
want him to do, that he isn’t even doing exactly and specifically as the
procedure that I wanted him to do. That is ineffective, not efficient,
not good, not bad, just mediocre, and no common sense, and
impracticality. Therefore, I am the one who knows nothing, and now the
copy of me also knows nothing and acts like he knows everything, when he
doesn’t, and how in fact, I am also doing the same thing that I have
taught him without even realising that he is doing the same thing that I
have taught him, when he didn't he past disobey me and how I made him
disobey to the point where we don’t even talk anymore. How stupid and
sad, huh?, right. Fucking pathetic from me and him and to everyone I
cheated and manipulated and threatened this way, even when people come
to our home late night int he evening, or even just early evening to
come and hang out. I always did things in misunderstanding and anger,
therefore, no one ever benefitted at all whatsoever. Not a chance, not a
success, only failure, and irritation, to finally know that he and I,
both of us and most importantly, myself. I as a father, and individual,
fucking know nothing at all whatsoever, disguising myself as if i knew
everything, when in fact, i know nothing at all whatsoever, in
discouragement, misunderstanding, and being now exposed to the hard cold
truth that makes me tired of my life and living itself.
I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to misunderstand others
just because I thought someone was saying one thing and i think of the
other, in my own conclusion and when i go to do my own thing, It
somehow, never usually works, because it never has and never had, in the
very past, and even up to now, to some varying degree, very little
success in fact. And how i couldn’t process what others were saying and
when I did misunderstand others, even if it was something simple, they
would usually agree or either correct me, even if it was right or wrong
or somewhat in contradictions and how it was usually never the way what I
heard someone expressing themselves, nor was it from me at all either,
even when I was not truly clear within myself and how i was conveying
myself understanding to myself and understanding others and conveying my
understanding. When I couldn’t even recognize what I was hearing and
processing, because it was going a little too slow. And how when someone
would say something to me simply, I would always retaliate in threat
and wanted to hurt another, because i was as well hurt inside myself,
trying to in attempt to hurt another just for my misunderstanding and
limitation. And how I always and others would somehow misunderstand me
and how I would misunderstand others and complain and threaten others
for my own misunderstanding and limitation and how I wasn't able to
process what could’ve been that was just simple and common sense. I just
had a different definition of what I was hearing and comprehending and
processing, therefore, arguments would always arise and inflict
conflict and misunderstanding to a whole new level of abuse. How tragic.
I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that
when I had come to a mistake that I have been doing for so long, even if
a certain process if effective and efficient, I refuse to do it and do
it my way. And think that others’ ways is not best for me, because i
know better, and no one else, when in fact, when I wanted to do things
in my own way as a starting point and not consider another view, I
haven’t really gotten anywhere, and when I am exposed to the right way
of doing things. I get tired and make excuses for not wanting to do what
I want to do, that I don’t like the way another person is doing, even
if it is efficient and we have the same thing or different things in our
lives. And how i need to argue for my limitation that the way I am
doing things is much more better, instead of what another is saying and
portraying, because i clearly haven’t gotten any results financially and
emotionally in expression and possession, just because i thought that
my idea and the way I do things is much more better. Then what someone
else tries to tell me, just because how I need to be disregarding and
disobeying another, is in fact, pure disrespect, even if the person is
much more effective than me, even if we do have the same thing of
product or service that we both have or not. Or even just similar in
ways of operations and how I am just in fact refusing to argue and
complain for my limitations, not seeing and realising and understanding
what I am making myself miss out. Just because I think my way is better,
when in fact and reality, it hasn’t been for a very very very very very
long time. And even recently for the worst.
I forgive myself for
accepting and allowing myself to deny myself to not see and realise and
to understand and consider other options that are and would’ve been
better for me, if I had just considered another way and not just only do
it my way and my way is much more better and refuting my own
limitations to what someone else is doing much more better. And how I am
not in fact doing what’s best for me, even if I think it is that I am,
and if I am not getting the results I want effectively, then there’s a
reason to be so in evidence. And how arguing and refusing and refuting
for my own limitations, will never get me far at all, no matter what i
do in this life, for business or not, life or not, doesn’t matter, I
will get far trying to refuse and argue for my own limitations and soon
to be tired and not do what others have recommended me to do that was
best for me, even though i understood the person clearly, but end up not
doing what was recommended for me to succeed, and how i ma refusing and
denying for my own failure, for delusional and illusional detriment,
for the worst, and ultimate mediocrity and inferior performance, along
with the end results for nothing attained at all whatsoever.
I
forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to argue for my own
limitations and think that my way is better, and how clearly, I haven’t
gotten very far, and how my ego is literally taking revenge upon me and
to express again that I know everything, when in fact, I do not know
anything and everything there is to be of business. Because i just have
low self esteem to be even doing anything substantial, no matter what it
is and how hard I try at anything, it just seems to be that I am not
actually truly getting far in what i want to do, even if it is simple to
do and up to higher levels of difficulty to be much more easier and
simpler to handle along the way. And how i have never been able to do
that, what a shame.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing
myself to not realise that whenI am doing the same thing over and over
again in my way, I realise now that I am not getting very far in what I
want to do for my life, no matter what it is. Business or not, life or
not, activities of anything or not, expression or none at all. And how I
am literally trying to argue for my limitation just so I can continue
the cycle of limitation and recycle it to not ever get the result that i
was looking for, even if I am on the path to get it or not at all. And
how it is clearly not in plain sight few of me actually doing it that I
intended myself to perform and actually do for myself, at all within the
time being. And how nothing has ever gotten for the better for me and
how my life has gotten to the pint of where it is today, nothing
achieved, nothing financially, nothing for relationships, expression,
communications and environment is still the same, and efforts done to be
the same and there is nowhere for me to get any better, if I realise to
myself to stop arguing for my own limitations and being so tired of it
when someone tries to push me to change. When I think my own way is
better when in fact, it has not been this whole entire time, at all,
whatsoever. And how i have never asked myself why are you arguing for
your own limitations? You haven’t even gotten far and limited still,
because I thought my ways were better and I knew all I knew, and how i
am doing what’s best for me and how i saw this quality in others and how
others have not gotten very far at all whatsoever, no matter what they
do in business and in life, nothing will resolve to come as a true
result for the better. It will always be for mediocre results and an
inferior life within expression for oblivion and delusion and illusion
for the worst.
When and as I see myself wasting my time and being
tired of arguing for my limitations just to protect myself of what I
think I am doing is great so far and haven’t gotten so far in what I am
doing, I stop and breathe.
When and as i see myself limiting myself in expression and process of learning and education and execution, i stop and breathe.
When
and as I see myself witnessing someone telling me to do a certain thing
that they have the impeccable results for and not do it, I stop and
breathe, and do what they are telling me that is best from someone who
is only credible, not just anyone.
When and as I see myself
disobeying and not wanting to consider another view from my own business
circle and colleague circle that of the people who are better than me, I
stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself tiring myself out doing the same and not getting the results I want, I stop and breathe.
When
and as I see myself urging myself to argue for my own limitations and
how I think my way is better than another and how I think I know it all
and everything, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself
thinking I know it all and think more of it, I stop and breathe, and
consider another point to improve and adapt from and with others.
When
and as I see myself duping myself into thinking that I’ve got it all
already and don’t need to learn anymore , I stop and breathe.
I
realise that arguing for my own limitations will get me far, even if i
think that i knew it all, when in fact and reality, I do not know
anything at all whatsoever. Even when it came to my parents as my
father, he would always argue with me and say I don’t know anything and
yell at me and make me angry by saying I’m a dumbass, when he was one
also in spitefulness. And how ever since i never wanted to listen to him
and never wanted to obey and do anything what he wanted, because he
also showed the qualities of a know it all as well, and not needing
anyone when it came to a certain project, it was not to be done. It
never was and never will be, even when he would tell me to fuck off
even if he knew what he was doing. And how I grasped that quality and
natural limited habit to do the same thing and never accept what someone
else is saying to me. So I can become better and actually consider what
another person is saying to me and how I can improve when in fact and
reality, I haven’t gotten very far, because I always disregarded what
others said to me, in complete misunderstanding, because of course, I
couldn't even process information, so it was to be like that, and i
never truly improved ever since, I’ve gotten far, but not as far as I
would like to. So it was never for the better at all, whatsoever.
Nothing financially, nothing emotionally noting in the best ways of
expression, just all pure abuse and instability and havoc and trouble
beyond belief, nothing was ever cultivated and explained to me to
understand. When in fact and reality,I Taught to misunderstand and react
irrationally and negatively for my own stupidity as if I even knew
anything about life and business and education at all whatsoever.
I
realised that my dad was my father, who never really truly cared for
me, he only wanted to manipulate me and make me sad and resent him if
and when I was exposed to an instruction but to rebuke and refuse it.
Because of his abusive way of expression towards me and how if I didn’t
want to do it, he would yell at me and call me all sorts of names and
judge me just because I didn’t want to do anything that he wanted me to
do. And how this limitation bullshit like thing, has never gotten me
far, and how i had grasped his limitation and habits along with it, and
how i am nothing but a copy of this fool that is abusive. Manipulative,
cheater, threatening me beyond my own comprehension to cause me pain and
anguish and pure spitefulness and resentfulness to the point where I
would always say I know everything and you don't do anything. Don’t ask
me, don’t help me, I know everything and got it all under control, when
in fact and reality, I had nothing under control, nothing was under
grasp and control and articulation and expression. When in fact and
realty, I was struggling so much and so hard to the point where i kept
going but didn’t get any results, because I was missing out one thing
that I could’ve been doing better, but evidently i haven’t been doing a
particular thing to even realise my own programming and how fucked I
was. Not ever persisting and knowing what exactly to even do, just
because I thought I knew it all, when in fact, I knew nothing. And how
my dad knew nothing, he is still a deadbeat and a loser, just like me,
in all full dishonesty, no honesty at all whatsoever. Nothing for the
better at all. Nothing to be expressed for the betterment of me and how
my foundation will be what I could've thought it to be and what I’ve
seen in others.
I realised that if I don’t express my self
honesty, and disguising it for self dishonesty to think and know that i
know everything when in fact, it does not show what i'm doing clearly
for the betterment of myself and with others. And how i am tirelessly
wasting my own time and efforts for something that I think I know when
in fact, it was only me who knew nothing and took and emulated the
limited ways of my father and how that is where i got this from and how
no wonder haven’t gotten very far into what I saw as the outcome that I
saw for myself and how i wasn’t taking the necessary actions to create
what I wanted, even if i was thinking that I was doing certain things to
achieve what I wanted. But ever so most, I wasn’t doing the right
things to get me to where i was seeking to go for my life, therefore,
nothing ever amounted, because i thought i knew it all, when in fact, I
KNEW NOTHING, nothing at all, whatsoever, under any circumstance to
begin with. And how my father did the same thing and how I so happen to
do the same thing as him, not knowing that I was doing the same habits
in expression and delusion and illusion like ways. That was deemed and
redeemed again and again repeatedly nonstop without any realization that
nothing was actually happening as a real result for what’s best for
all, within that, nothing was ever to be for me, nothing at all for me,
nothing good, nothing of achievement, noting of advancement, just pure
uncultivated disadvantage and mediocrity. For the worst.
I
realised thatI’ve wasted so much of time and was so tired of it but
continued to accept and allow it and never realise what i was doing that
wasn’t best for me. Even if I thought it was correct, I didn’t get very
far in whatever I wanted to do in the best effective ways of operation
and creation for my life and in real possession and physical life. It
was just me in and me in my mind only and a whole bunch of characters,
movie scenes and picture scenes and threats and so much of what I
couldn't even handle and advance on to become free. Because nothing in
my life was even working, because i thought what I was doing was
correct, when in fact, it was wrong this whole entire time.
I
realised that this entire time, I was creating mediocre results that
never got me anywhere, even in my expression and hard wired thoughts and
ways and mannerisms felt as if I couldn't even escape. When I was only
living it as breath in no actual true realisation, because i just
couldn’t even see it for myself, because I was so reserved and wanted to
isolate myself from others and never wanted any advice, nor anything to
help me. And when and if I did accept it, I only made it a part of my
way and incorporated it, and not exactly like the other was explaining
and expressing to me. So that is why I haven't gotten so far, becauseI
thought I knew it all, when in fact, I didn't. And how I was being so
consistent in the wrong direction that was only to my preview that was
so called ‘to be better’ and how nothing else is better than what I
have, and never even bothered to consider what could’ve been better for
me. And how I would always make the excuse of I’ll just figure it out,
and ever since, I never could because I thought I knew it all, and only
knew what I ever knew and never accepted anything else of consideration
for anything at all. That would’ve been much better for me, if I had
just realised what kind of atrocity I was causing for myself fo the
worst. That’s it.
I realised that whatever i did and could do, i
never wanted to listen, because I was being stubborn and to the fact
that i didn’t want to listen to anyone, and how i knew what i only
knew. And never accepted anything for the better or me, no wonder my
life, is the way it is right now as i speak and write this out to you
all and for me to realise. That my life thrived on complacency and
latency from thinking I knew it all from my own father who also Knew
nothing, and never wanted to accept any help, just because he knew
everything and how i got it from him and it took a big affect and toll
on my life. And how i never achieved anything that I’ve ever wanted,
because I never could experience why and understand why that ever was.
Because it was so ingrained within me and how i couldn’t even process
information either, and could not implement anything that could’ve been
best for me, ever since I was exposed to his stubbornness and
complacency and latency, as a deadbeat loser he will always be. Because I
know by observation, he will never change, not for a dime, not for
anything, not for himself, not for me, not for anyone, not a thing at
all.
I commit myself to be open and be open to learning and
discerning and processing other considerations with the tools I have of
TechnoTutor and Desteni I Process of self forgiveness and self
corrective application. And to consider and do the recommended
information and message and to only get this from credible people only
and not just some random person that doesn’t know anything. Although
anyone out there, may have a particular answer to what it is that I am
doing in my industry and business that could help me and I can apply the
information and process it and be able to use it in real physical
breath by breath action for the better. For as I see myself as life and
life resonance in awareness and in reality to improve and adapt for the
better, within living the self correction application changes as LIFE!
I
commit myself to challenge those who try to do something that isn’t
best and how and if they are doing something that isn’t best and not
following what I am saying, and if they’re not processing it, then that
could be a potential problem for them if they cannot process what to do,
and what's best for all. And if it just wasted then what is the point,
though I will give context and reason why and share the tools of what I
have in the best ways possible to the individual, as I use and apply
these tools and myself as well to my life and business for the better.
And to challenge this person by respect and dignity to help this or
group or individual only to realise with context and reason and for its
effectiveness to do it this way and do the recommended way. So we can
both truly realise what we can do for the better with respect and
dignity and integrity. For as I see myself as life and life resonance in
awareness and in reality to improve and adapt for the better, within
living the self corrective application changes as LIFE!
I commit
myself to become much more effective in the way I apply and live the
correction of what is best for me, and how I can embody out the real
change as life, and become infinitely and ultimately effective in my
expression. My communication, my negotiation skills, my persuasion
skills, my processing skills and operating my life to the best and
improve and adapt in how I lead myself and others for the better. And to
help and encourage my employees, salespersons, accountants, engineers,
chemists, scientists, senior partners, directors to do the same in the
best effectiveness possible. To help all people within the organization
become much more effective within the tools we offer and recommend to
all personnel and people within the organization, no matter who it is,
we will recommend these tools and how to use it specifically and
effectively to get the best results possible for the individual and the
corporation itself. To become truly the most amazing company and
monopoly possible and ever for the better!. For as I see myself as life
and life resonance in awareness and in reality to improve and adapt for
the better, within living the self corrective application change as
LIFE!
I commit myself to become more and more ultimately
teachable and to become much more effective in the way I operate myself
and operate with others and lead others to victory for the better. And
encourage and help and persuade others to become much more teachable and
effective the way we express ourselves and operate on a daily basis for
our ultimate and super success! For as I see myself as life and life
and life resonance in awareness and in reality to improve and adapt for
the better, within living the self corrective application changes as
LIFE!
I commit myself to teach and encourage and help my kids and
my wife do the same and with her as well to help them understand the
certain processes to learning and how we can become much more effective.
And to help them learn how to use the tools that we own and have that
are of TechnoTutor for now and other tools of stability later on as they
grow up to become ultimately multiple times much more effective as
individuals. To help them and encourage them and even my wife, and how
we can truly become a powerful force of growth within the family and how
I operate my company(ies) as well for the better. To help them
understand what it is like to learn and be effective, there is always
more to learn and always more to apply in the best ways possible that is
correct and right to get the best results in our performance in what we
do for the better! Whether it’s business, life relationships, money,
communications, education, reading and much more for the better. For as I
see myself as life and life resonance in reality to improve and adapt
for the better, within living the self corrective changes as LIFE!
I
commit myself to write self forgiveness to forgive myself of what is
not best within me and how I can realise them through stop and breathing
statements. When and if a reaction were to ever come up, I will stop
and breathe and and take self directive principle within the moment as I
am moving myself in real application as my actions must become my
breathing. And within that to realisation statements to realise what I
had reacted to and have reacted to that was not in my best interest at
all whatsoever. Within this,I commit myself to write self commitment
statements to recorrect myself into what is best for me and to apply and
live as breath and actions as my breathing, running with my heart and
my feet will follow. And to use the tools of TechnoTutor correctly and
specifically to get the best effective results for myself, and within
the Desteni I Process of writing self forgiveness and self corrective
application to change and become much more better and free and stable
for the better. And to live the living change as LIFE!, for as I see
myself as life and life resonance in awareness and in reality to improve
and adapt for the better, within living the self corrective application
changes as LIFE!
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