Fear of destroying a relationship with uncertainty
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I have unknown assumptions of fear of destroying a relationship with my uncertainty and how I am afraid of saying one thing and immediately paying out for the consequences of my actions and words and deeds along the way as a mixture of varying degrees. Not realising when I am about to encounter to say something or make a call or do anything, I get this weird itchy feeling and of something bad is about to come and how I am trembling in my voice as I am in the act and going forward as I am already feeling the fear conjuring up within me. Because in reality, I am just trying to disregard what I am feeling and how I am suppressing it and not knowing what it is, when it is clear in my voice and evident of me hearing someone else try to tear me down with their pitiful self interest, that the other person is not even aware of. And how if I were that person, I probably would’ve judged myself as well, and to do it in a spiteful condescending way, and laughing at the other person in disrespect as if I would do the same thing ultimately to myself, not realising if the roles had probably even obviously had switched upon me to act and be this other character that I am not. And how in reality, I am just trying to bullshit myself in my own fear, to think that what I might say, without voicing a trigger warning, to whomever it may be, a girlfriend, friend, or whomever, or someone in business or whoever, that I might get some lash back from a person who just got offended. Without me acknowledging them that I’m going to be bold and say what I need to you, and no matter how you feel, It’s going to hurt you, because I was only doing from the starting point of being a piece of shit and not being kind and cordial about it, as if i wouldn’t say the same thing back to myself in judgement. As if I hadn’t realised that there is no God, no Jesus to judge me and put and serve me on judgement day, when in fact and reality, I am the one who is giving myself my own judgement day to accept and allow the cards that I have been dealt with. And not even bothering to question why what I have and how I got it, because I couldn’t conceive of it, because of how deep and unexplainable it truly ever was, even if I wanted to contradict it and disrespect myself even further for what I hadn’t noticed just yet. Just because I fear destroying a relationship, is me perceiving fear of destroying my own relationship with myself, and with others, and whatever happens within me and for what i have yet investigated within me, I am only in actuality, hurting myself ever more into oblivion as if I haven’t gotten a clue of a true relationship with certainty really is. Because what I beLIEved about certainty and relationships was all that wasn’t for what was best for me, nor for the other person. Because I never realised that my parents had threatened to leave me and how they also threatened to leave each other. Because in fact, they were both purveying and conveying fear of loss to each other, when both people didn’t realise what a true relationship is supposed to be. When it was all based on feelings and spitefulness, judgement, manipulation for fear, fear of loss, a whole bunch of shit. And not even voicing it, but showing it through anger and manipulation and down right fear of loss and losing everything to influence me to choose whatever side there was to be. And I never wanted to choose any side of them, because I know their habits will become mine, and I would never question myself and even them. And how it would affect my own relationships and even my past relationships in the past as if I haven’t noticed what was going on and what had lasted and what went down the drain with the tidy bowl man, getting ready to clean and flush things down without even questioning at the starting point before flushing what could’ve been challenged and questioned with respect and dignity for another and for no disrespect at all whatsoever. No matter how anyone feels and for whatever the situation warrants, but in fact and reality, it was never that way, it was always flushed down and disregarded out of nowhere. Just because I only considered myself and never wanted to lose myself, and every time I tried to, things never worked out, because I made myself accept and allow what I didn’t want and wanted in contradiction, and soon enough, things never worked out for the better. Even if it was just subtle instances of what was even going within me and how I saw my parents' relationship with themselves and also for each other and most importantly the relationship I was seeing and staring into space as if I was downloading something that wasn’t going to be best for me. And even the sounds and hw loud and intense the oscillations were occurring affected me as I haven’t gotten a clue of what was being erupted within me like a jello. As and before it is even cooked and finished, it was erupted and along the way, constantly, and made invisible meaningless dents within me as if I felt I couldn’t even get out of my own self and figure out why this atrocity is even happening to me and for me, as i was accepting and allowing it naively.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parents as mother and father to have fear of losing each other and of course our child. And how we never considered one another as an one and equal, it was never that way at all whatsoever, it was always threats and fear of loss, manipulation, intense oscillations of arguments and how loud the words were being presented to each and of course to our child, as he was watching and hearing and how intense and emotional it was to be making our hearts and our resonances and awareness shake and tremble as it had done to our child as well. Not realising that out intense non-sense atrocity like arguments would cause a huge ruffle in the feathers, where one or both or all would get damaged, and even mentally damaged for the worst, not releasing and considering how our child would experience the same thing that we have gotten when we were little and seen in from others, media, tv shows, movies, advertisements, and etcetera. And now for to do the same thing from what our parents did and then theirs and theirs again and theirs again and 7 generations along the way, not realising that would come into this lifetime, until it would’ve been changed up until this very moment and investigated. Not knowing if things would ever change for the better, but it was always for the worst in defiance and non-compliance and pure self disrespect for another, for not doing what’s best, and how one another should be considering to do my own self interest or we’re done. And how it was random threats that caused a commotion and soon for the law enforcement to actually come to destroy the peace of the neighborhood. Just because we never had peace within ourselves at all. Because of the peace we have with our ourselves and our child was always disturbed and within and without as usual. And how we never understand what it was like to not resolve the disturbed intense non-peacefulness that was never there within us, we only made it ever worse, and participated in things and thoughts, words and deeds. That eventually came out to us acting out our own consequence into oblivion for high expectations and judgements for manipulation for some type of weird loss for fear, manipulation here and there. And then eventually things go nowhere, and soon both will separate as we have done, we're still together, but not not paper, and in mind as knowingness with certainty. In fact, it has been this whole time, uncertainty and power failure into nothing that would’ve never lasted anyway. Things would’ve never lasted if we never talked to each other ever again, and still won’t, because there’s no true growth, but a relationship based on emotions instead of principles, and how we wee manipulating each other and teasing each other spitefully, especially me to do the same to my child, as if i would be doing the same thing t myself. And how my war buddies and my friends and parents did the same thing to me, because they had the same thing done to them as well in purer disrespect and how uncomfortable it felt, but if I couldn’t agree with, I had to be with them, because I felt like I had no other choice, but to put myself into an uncomfortable position of disrespect from another as if I need to be disrespecting people all the time and how no one cares, because I would’ve done the same thing all the time with and to everyone, no matter who they are. If it didn’t match up with my ways of living and way of doing for what I have thought and have only thought for myself. Because nothing ever truly worked out for the better, it was always in spite, and secret mind conversations with myself and with others and revealing how much of a person that I am, and how I am just a spiteful human being, and how i would’ve never considered myself either. Just only doing it in this weird secrecy, and when it does come out, I ended up doing the same thing and exploded the intense spiteful and ugly like judgements and name calling to another and how I want to blame another for my own mistakes and how I only caused them for myself and not for another. And how I am only just doing this so I can feel better and for others to feel sympathy for me and succumb to my anger and slight depression under and of my control. As if they can not and are not able to ever get out under my control. To have some type of sympathy with me, instead of stopping my controlling ways of testing and treating others, just because I was treated the same way and how I would obviously do the same thing to others and of course to myself as well. And how I would always have this urge to start trouble and no stability behind it, and always starting the starting point and recycling my emotions into oblivion as if they need to repressed and suppressed into myself and then sooner or later, I would be acting the emotion that I had set out to myself to suppress and repress and not act anymore. When in fact, I was only suppressing it, because I know no other and how this is the way to do something to suppress the problem and the consequence that would evidently come out of it. Without even acknowledging what the hell I was even doing to myself and how unstable I am and for me to pass that on to my child, as a evidence of disrespect and unworthiness to myself as if i need to disrespect another for my own depression and anger just to secure some type of sympathy for my own weakness and happiness just because I don’t know why what i wanted in the first place. And only wanted to do it for control and being strict within the control, and to have no other way for anyone, and say it’s my way or highway, on your own and not able to be guided. When in fact, my way was never the best way, I never knew any better, so I had to do this way, with manipulation, yelling, threatening fear of loss, threatening fear of loss to myself to fear destroying the relationship as if it didn’t even matter. Even though I card and didn’t care at all for myself and even my wife and my son and child, and how I only contradicted my life ever so much, and shit canned so many things and having to take it out of the trash and eat my own trash again. As if I wanted to take out what I said, when in fact, I am only recycling my nonsense and arguments for my own manipulation and having to do so by suppressing and repressing fear and judgement and fear of loss with manipulation for the worst. So no one can ever feel the need to escape from my wrath, because I never could let myself escape from it, because It was me and what I accepted and allowed to be as me. And how things were and will never be solved and provided a solution for, because I could never escape from what was not me. I only accepted and allowed it to be, and never could investigate it, because it was the only way I knew how, and never knew any other better way. But to escape from myself by exploding on others and manipulating others to leave and even how I threatened my son to leave and to say if you don't like it then get out. When in fact, that was never the solution, I was only copying something that I was afraid of holding back from what my husband was doing as well. And now I am trying to be another character that I am not, I am only being another loser that I always was and with my husband as well. And how I never realised what it was to be to truly be the best parent I could be. But it was only something I ever knew how. Because I could escape from me, I only accepted and allowed other things and trouble and trembling trouble and manipulation and threats to be AS ME, just because I knew that if that was the way, then I would go with it. Just because someone else had mentioned it, for me to ac someone else’s threat for me to use so i can protect my own self interest and how I would never consider another just because of my own nonsense retribution for control, and making it my way or either it is no way at all whatsoever for anyone and not even for myself either at all whatsoever. And how I understand that my way and/or the highway as a threat and notion as presumptuous was abuse, and how it will never be an actual solution for anything, just because I only wanted to express myself and control another of my own happiness and wanting someone to stay and fuel and be a soft bed and/or rock to use and manipulate for my own weakness to not show. When in fact, when things do end up showing themselves, consequences will arise out of nowhere, just because I wanted to suppress my emotions and feelings and ulterior motives just so I can be the way to light and hope again. When hope is not the answer, because it never will be, love and hope will never be the answer, love and light will never be the answer. If it is not investigated, things will go into oblivion and down the haystack of needles and hit from facets and cells of our bodies to go into oblivion and severe trouble for ourselves and for the people that are around us. And if we try to throw any more needles towards and AT Someone, just like we punctured ourselves and others and not noticing it would affect others as it would go through walls and puncture another just because of manipulation and shear outright fear of loss, just because I wanted to keep another in my circle and influence to be where I am and not truly ever grow as i wanted to. Because I never knew why I wanted to marry my husband and my wife. I had only had it from the starting point, because of how this person looks and how they are, how they speak, when in fact, I never knew abuse would ever arise, and soon ever into a divorce with a lawyer coming over and making us sign the papers to be separated and still live with each other because of my our son and child. And how contradicting that is, if we ever left him, he would’ve been on his own and very much more unstable like we were anyway. And it’s funny how we never left each other, but we’re still together?, how fucking stupid as that?, that doesn't make any sense, if we never agreed to make anything truly happen for the better, then why are we even together in the first place?, and causing ALLLLL of this fucking abuse and manipulation for fear of loss and providing so much uncertainty of what even a relationship is supposed to look like. Just because it is so called ‘normal’ for arguments and yelling with spitefulness and abuse and breaking each other's things and judging others spitefully and teasing each other spitefully. As if no one around will and would’ve ever noticed, when in fact our child noticed the whole time of what we were doing. And how I knew in my eyes and mind and backchat, if I was ever going to be for long for marriage and as a relationship together would ever last. Until the day, we signed the papers, and questioned if I wanted to do this, and how my mom considered me to marry him anyway, and whatever happens, happens, and there's nothing you can do about it. When in fact, that was an excuse from her and myself the whole time, not ever questioning why i was wanting to marry this man, who didn’t have my own best interest, but his spitefulness and instability that would make me unstable and make me leave and give my child away. As I have accepted and allowed to give my child away, and how he is unstable just like me, as parents, as mother and father, as idiots. Who never knew anything better, but to argue and spitefully hurt each other into oblivion until one of us leaves and never comes back at all whatsoever. And for no one to ever have anything to be provided, instead there was always lack, limitation, spitefulness, judgements, judging, fear of loss threats, threats, manipulation, spiteful manipulative to the point where no one will ever make it out truly alive and for the better. It was always in trouble and for no one ever to have the best future for anything and anyone and anybody. No one deserved it, because in fact, we never deserved it ourselves, nothing at all whatsoever. Nothing of merit, nothing of worthiness, it was just pure unworthiness and that was about it. Even sometimes we would raise our voices when one of us would get aroused negatively just because of a topic and judgement is being conveyed and expressed and imposed upon. Just because one person or either person would not ever change, so I had to spitefulness hurt my wife, and also to spitefully hurt myself and my husband in fear and threaten him and her to do so. Just because I was so afraid of what might happen to me or anyone, and anybody within the family. And to tarnish and ruin the family name, forever to be destroyed for the worst.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as my daughters mother to her son and child, for giving her an excuse and to stay with her husband who is spiteful and doing so many wrong things of abuse and teasing spitefully and not ever even bothering to question why that is. No matter what I say, she will not listen, nor will I listen to any solution, because evidently I lost my relationship and lost it due to toxicity of myself and for my husband as well. And how he would always smoke and drink and do all of these things as if they nattered, when in fact, they never mattered, but I only accepted and allowed it to be that way. Because ini fact and reality, I never knew any other bette way, but to express my irresponsibility for instability to occur and happen, because in fact, I’ve had it for myself as well, not realising that others and my parents and then their's and then their fucking parents as well within the atrocity to do the same thing, over and over and over rand over again, never questioning why things have never changed, and instability was never settled and solved, but it was always settled for complacency and latency in the efforts of our minds, because ini fact and reality, it was always at a limitation and lack. Because we never had the proper effective education, nutrition, clothes, food, and nature of effective affection and carer, because in fact and reality, it was all neglected for the worst. And no one ever got the benefit, everyone and I myself, usually and always got the benefit of the doubt, because we accepted and allowed the benefit of the doubt fo the worst, as if nothing will ever change, because in reality and FACT, it WILL never change, because we never changed ourselves for anything and for the better it was always neglected in negligence and taking full blind shea irresponsibility as if life didn’t matter for what was even here the whole entire time. As if life didn’t change for anything, financial, and emotionally nutritionally, and all the above for actual basic needs that were from the starting point and and get go, was fucked. And it will forever be fucked, if we never change now, as we feel as it is too late. When in fact, it is not, but if we never do anything about it in honesty, we will remain in pure Dishonesty for eternity, and internally and eternally, for the worst. Nothing will ever surface for a real positive impactful change at all whatsoever. Nothing challenged, nothing ever surfaced to begin for a better way and life, emotionally and financially and basic needs to be met. Nothing ever was met, it was always neglected, and left to shit, everything was hoarded, because we were missing what we had in our lives, just because we thought it was good, but in fact now, it was never that way at all whatsoever, it was always left in shambles and uncertainty, to accept and allow what we thought life would and were to be. Even when i was laying down on the couch and staring into space, not knowing if there will be something that will come to me. When nothing in fact will ever come to me ever, if I don’t get off my ass and do something about it, I always neglect my life, and how my daughter and her husband and son, are all being neglected and neglecting themselves. Just because of instability of her husband that would equate to the imposed and imprinting of abuse and spitefulness that will ever subside, but to abuse his wife. Will be of questionable activity and integrity, when in fact, there was no integrity, just pure self dishonesty, even if it wasn’t my responsibility and actual input for an effective output. It was an ineffective input and the result of an ineffective output. Never solving anything for the better, it was always left in uncertainty and shambles and fear of loss, and disrespect and losing the relationship like I lost mine. And how she lost hers and now she is still with the man, who has never done anything for anyone, nor was it good or bad, the starting point was the ending point, it was never to be for anything of any type of real solution and input for an effective wonderful abundant life. Instead it was always for poor or for rich, when in fact it was always for poor and neglect, and , it was always abandoned, and never sought back for, and then rejoiced again, and then abandoned. And teased every now and then of the actual relationship itself. Because no one ever knew what a true relationship ever was, it was always neglected and based on emotion and sex and money, and that is it. Nothing else, it was all manipulated and for no true purpose, nobody ever got the benefit, everyone in the family tried or didn’t try to get and go for the long part of the stick, instead everyone tried to do so for the longer part of the stick. Unfortunately, everyone never knew that they all got the short end of the stick for the worst. No one ever made it, no one will ever survive, like i did, and how i will never make it out alive for the better. As i am already at the end of my life and stage as well. Nothing will be surfaced for actual true abundance, but to be staged and limited and lacked for what it could’ve been, but never realised, because everyone was too blind like I was to even say anything that was to be of true worthiness for the better. Even when she would come over and his aunt’s would be there, they would even judge him. And be spiteful to him, as if his life didn’t matter at all whatsoever. To her own son and child, not defending, but accepting and allowing spitefulness, threat, abuse, and spiteful teasing just to get attention, without even voicing what we intended to even say. And if that were the case, then we wouldn’t even know how to express ourselves effectively at all whatsoever, but to do it with being poor and ugly and distorted about it, as if one’s life never truly ever mattered at all whatsoever. How unfortunate. Because of the ulterior motives of self interest of fear and greed and separation, that is all it is, nothing more, that is it. And sooner or later, the relationship will surface and suffer in separation and spite and threat, anger and depression, and no one will ever make it out for the better, just scarred and deluded and alluded for the worst.
When and as I see myself wanting to fear of destroying the relationship with what I say, do, neglect, or not pay attention to, because of assumptions and not expressing why that is to myself or either to my partner, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not being honest and self honest with myself and with my partner as if I am afraid of what she might say, it’s because I am not being and honest about what I am trying to express to get myself across with to be honest in expression to help each other, and if it is for some type of failure, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself wanting to threaten my partner or anyone, to leave and destroy the relationship, when it is in fact, me not forgiving myself fully and knowing that I did, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself wanting to manipulate my partner with teasing and spitefulness and within abuse, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself being harsh and feeling as if I am too manipulative, I am only eve being so dishonest, I stop and breathe if I am not expressing it to be true from the starting point of expressing dishonesty, I will always check myself and always express self honest as always, no matter what.
When and as I see myself having preconceived doubts and assumptions to saying my partner isn’t the one, I stop and breathe and realise it is just me making it up.
When and as I see myself not expressing myself fully and articulately with self honesty, I stop and breathe, and redirect into honesty and full 100% self honesty and responsibility of it.
When and as I see myself not helping my partner to be fully self honest and to help each other to grow for the better and I myself or her or him or whomever, of a woman that is with me, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself isolating myself and not wanting to investigate or talk with my partner, for support of any way and type, and feeling as if I’ve got it all sorted out and things are getting way too intense for me, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not directing and helping my partner, nor even myself, to become better, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself attempting and having the urge to manipulate and tease my partner, and myself or anyone, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself attempting some type of urge for abuse, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself wanting to control clothes with my anger and depression to be it is my way or no way at all, I stop and breathe, and redirect that it is just and assumption that is not even me and address it self honestly to myself and for myself, and not impose and imprint my partner with it, she doesn’t deserve it that way, and i know so.
When and as I see myself urging myself to disrespect myself, my partner, and/or anyone of dominance and speciality to feel and see that I am better when in fact, it is clearly not that way, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself wanting to threaten to leave because of assumptions when in fact they are not real, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself seeing and witnessing others threatening to leave, I stop and breathe, and be here as breath and challenge if needed.
When and as I see myself not voicing my self honesty, and keeping it to myself, when i know i can do it with respect and dignity to others and even my partner and for myself, I stop and breathe, and do so with right timing and common sense and practicality.
When and as I see myself being dishonest and not truthful and articulate like I am and should be and consider to be, I stop and breathe.
I realise that fearing destroying a relationship and with uncertainty is just self dishonesty and what i had heard and seen and witnessed from my parents who never had the best relationship. It was always being tarnished, teased, manipulated in a bad question that wasn’t best, and cheated and threatened, to leave or stay or do anything else of those matters that didn’t even make sense at all whatsoever due to misunderstanding.
I realise that my parents never really cared about, it was always them caring one day and then not the other, one week, then half of the week, as if i was being neglected, and how it might be doing the same thing sometime and someday in my life, if i hadn’t investigated this right now as we speak. And how no one ever got along, just because of one threatening each other and one threatening me, and threatening to kill me and hurt me for their own instability and stupidity as it is and was.
I realise that I was also fearing to destroy my own relationship with myself as well, as my parents destroyed their relationship with each other and themselves for the worst. And how they even destroyed themselves for the worst, and now they are sitting in their pile of excrement and consequences they have created for the worst, without even witnessing and realizing what they were actually even doing. And how I came to ruin my past relationships and how none of them were cultivated to ever last ever since at all whatsoever. Nothing was for the better, it was just based on emotion just like my parents did when they got together and how my dad had a separate family pervious and never saw them at all whatsoever for over 30 years past my own life. What a shame.
I realised that no one ever cared for me, so I never cared for me, and even my current and past relationships haven’t been the best I could’ve seen before, nor after, because I was just too blind to the fact of my own relationship with myself wasn’t that good with others, nor was it for myself either at all whatsoever.
I realize that being of fear of destroying a relationship with uncertainty and being so uncertain about it, no matter if it is for intimacy with another woman, myself, business, or anything at all, I just didn’t realise the actual relationship that I saw from my parents and how I am not enacting it as the flesh, but now that I am investigating it, it won’t be. And how I’ve realised if I didn’t investigate this, I would’ve never seen the light of day, to show a bad relationship that wasn’t what best for anyone, nor for me. And how I would’ve never developed a better relationship with myself, because I have no role models at home to do that, even if i do see others doing it, and I don’t ask, how is that going to help me?, just like how my parents did and never asked and never mentioned and said anything to speak up. Both people were just being cowards, and how I was now being a coward, no matter how hard I tried to improve and better myself, the patterns were just still there and were never investigated and questioned at all whatsoever. Even the spitefulness, the teasing, the threats, the manipulation, the cheating to get what they wanted to manipulate me and each other to get what they wanted and nothing for me to and benefit from. But just the doubt and the insignificance of it, and how and what it could’ve been if it was and were to be redirected into what was best for the better. But obviously no one knew what they were doing. It was all based on emotions and just a plain emotional relationship and that was it. Even when they file the papers for divorce and are now still living together, just because they didn’t want me to be stranded out, and lost. Although I already was, and didn’t know what to do, when my mom asked, who do you want to live, I didn’t want to live with anybody, nor for myself at all whatsoever. Shitty right?, I know. And how it made me dishonest and manipulative in my previous relationships as well, and how nothing ever worked out at all whatsoever, because I chose all of my relationships based on emotion, just like how my dad and mom did and how I saw others do. Especially when it was in the media, cartoons, tv shows, movies, tv shows as movies, advertisements, people in public, background conversations in public, and what was going and being said and occurring as some type of abuse, no matter how big or small. I just didn't know if it was right or not at all whatsoever.
I realised that dishonesty will never last, until it is mentioned and said, and when it does happen, no one was truly self honest, and was only in actuality and reality and fact, was dishonest this and the whole entire time. No one ever said anything, just because they feared no one would understand them, nor could they understand me, and how I found myself doing the same thing, not saying and voicing anything at all whatsoever. And being so needy as if I needed someone to talk with me, when I didn’t realise I needed myself the most, because in fact and reality, I never had myself, I never did, I never had it. Nor did I trust myself, nor did I love myself, nor did I like myself, nor did I take care of myself. It was always neglect and abuse, emotionally with myself and for others, financially with others and myself. It always started with myself, I just never knew that I was so self dishonest and self centered for what was not best for me, and only abused and hurt others just for my own control of depression and anger for that could’ve been prevented and investigated. But it never was, because no one ever knew, so they disregarded me, and they disregarded themselves, and how I also disregarded myself and did that with others as well. To tell them to get over it, just like they told me, in abuse and stupidity as it was, I just never knew how moronic that was to witness and never question that even was at all whatsoever. Because no one voiced it, no one said anything, so I never said anything to voice it, to say it , to speak up, but in reality, I never could speak up, because I was always so afraid to be of fear of destroying the relationship with absolute uncertainty of what I might say will collapse everything, and even collapse everything within me.
I commit myself to understand what it is like to have a stable and effective relationship with myself and also with others outside of me and how i can improve and be bold with others and respectful and have dignity of others as i would for myself as well for the better! For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better to truly live the living change as life!
I commit myself to help myself and my partner and others understand that I will be bold with you and myself, that it is better to do this step by step and breath by breath of the way. In full self honesty, with respect and dignity for one another and to do this with common sense and practicality. Being cordial and kind, and when we need to say what we need to say to and with each to become better, then we will if anything seems to warrant it. To do it with respect and dignity, as everyone deserves, but for those who do deserve it, and those who don’t, do not. And to help my partner and/or anyone within business and/or intimacy as well, to do and say and express all in self honesty and common sense and to develop that for the better for an effective and true long lasting developing relationship for the better! For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better to live the living change as life!
I commit myself to improve the relationship I have with myself and to gain my self trust more and more every day and improve and scale it, with common sense and practicality and full self honesty with myself and with my business partners, senior partners, directors, employees with respect and dignity, my customers, my clients everyone. That relationships are one of the keys to life and the right people to take on and help to become better together, for the better! And to encourage and help myself and become a better leader for myself and for others and help others become a better leader for themselves as a team, as a company, as a corporation, as a family together for the better! For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better to live the living change!
I commit myself to help and encourage my kids and give them the best affection and help my wife do the same, to encourage and give them praise and affection and care. And support for them to truly have a wonderful childhood, and a great relationship as role models as parents and how they can do the same for the better, that I know things can get better, by improving ourselves and being here and being with the kids as well and taking care of and prioritizing other matters that are important as well. And that I understand and will do and know that our relationship with ourselves and our children is very important, because they do deserve the best, with basic needs and fun things to do to be met so they can truly thrive and have a wonderful present and future life for the better as they grow up.
I commit myself to understand and know how to live the living change of how to improve my relationship with myself within self trust and with others and discern how things can get better and do so in the best ways possible. And how things can truly thrive and succeed for the future within ourselves first, family, business, and other relationships that are important as well for the better. For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt to live the living change for the better for my and our super super super super super super super super super super super super super super success!
I commit myself to help my partner and I and also for myself to both discover our principles for life, and in business, and how we can make the best principles together to live and embody and live out as life. And to always rely on them, no matter how we feel, and how we can improve from that, self forgive ourselves when things do need to be warranted to be forgiven with self forgiveness and self corrective application. And to help my partner realise what I am doing and how she can benefit from it as well, as I have, and we can be a thriving and driving force for true immaculate growth for the better. For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better for our super super super super super success together!
I commit myself to write self forgiveness to forgive myself of what is not best within me, and to realise them through breathing statements if a reaction or of anything whatever were to come up, to stop and breathe and be here and take directive principle as an individual, to take full 100% responsibility for me. And to realise the self forgiveness statements through self realisation statements to realise what I have and had reacted to that wasn’t best for me at all whatsoever. And within that I commit myself to write self commitment statements to recorrect to live and living change as life to become the best version of myself and enact and embody out to live the living change as the flesh. To improve and adapt for the better, along with the support, and support groups, TechnoTutor, Self forgiveness and self corrective application and the Desteni I Process and along with the Desteni blogs to life. For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better to live the living change as LIFE!
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