Day 2: Meet Your Maker(You)

 

Meet your Maker

(read aloud and breathe)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that meeting my maker is me in reality and how I won’t be the last one to be left, but my thoughts will only be left in existence down the river and off to the horizon and off into the sunset as if there is no tomorrow. Fearing the death as if were to be real and how I fear dying as if I were to be my true maker. And how retrospectively to reality, that it is truly my other makers are my parents, and other people that I’ve met over the years and have no truly questioned why and where my thoughts were and usually are and were at and up to this very moment and time in my life. And how I truly have yet to investigate and question why I truly fear dying and only abdicate my own responsibility to fear others as if they were to do something to me. And how I fear their ways of doing, when in reality, it is me who is fearing something that I would do to myself, not realising that if i fear something from myself and from others as assumptions and thinking they’re in fact that they are just in reality big fat facade like lies. Within that, how it is only who me who is putting feared assumptions to not be here as breath and how i don’t want to meet myself, because I am afraid of losing my own identity thinking this will be a true meeting with myself that isn’t truly even here, because in reality, I truly have lived my life as a lie. I have never really questioned why I am even here, why my thoughts are this way, the way I do things, the way I live, eat, wake up, and talk with others. Sometimes, I don’t even realise my own random thoughts that run like a freight train. And how i am not bothering to realise to question the lies that I am giving utter value to and how they are just more lies that are being fed the fuel of energy of my will to do so, and how i don’t that I am not able and capable of truly changing myself and letting others feel like as if they are blaming me. When in fact, and deep truth, I am the one who is blaming myself in spite to think that life isn’t truly meant to be lived truly to the fullest and how I am just going about my day and going from thing to thing, person to person, needlessly being sought after for energy and addiction for attention. When I have yet to give the proper attention to myself and for myself to truly reparent myself, instead of others trying to give me more to remind me more of the creation that I have created as a lie. And how I am not even me, how do I know I am even me, when there are so many lies that I have come to believe up until this very point and time to think that life isn’t meant to be truly lived. And when I do hit at the end of my life and feel as if i made the regrets that I have made and never fulfilled them to even bother to pull trigger on myself and my own dreams to make them be fulfilled, instead i slope and schlep around minutely, minutes, and hours and days and weeks on end and years come to pass me by. And how this whole, I have been participating in my mind as if life isn’t here already, when I think life is in my life and living delusions and not even acting upon to do what is best, and how i have yet to realise my own unconscious and subconscious ways of doing to the conscious act. That has cost me relationships to be built, money, life, and much meaningful creation that was wasted by me being more and participating more and seeing myself as a third person view seeing above. That I am the one who is fucking with myself, and without even me, myself as the ego and physical is not even reralising that i am participating ini my mind and not in real life, and how i am doing it for the worst. Even when it comes to morning and checking on things that are not even in my best interest of other media, social media, other people, news, that isn’t even helping me to grow to be a better person and seeing the atrocity that is happening in the world as if i haven’t a clue to be only in my own self interest. And be more and more in my mind as if I haven’t a clue of what true reality to be lived here as if no one else is even seeing me. And how I think it is okay to do such a thing to myself, and accepting and allowing myself to lose more of my trust as if nothing truly ever happened to me and for me. And how the people around me aren’t doing what’s best in my own assumption at all whatsoever.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that my other makers are my parents and how they abdicated their responsibility into not even realising what it is like to be able to take care of a child. And how I was in the wrong boat with them, I can't just merely blame them for what they did, they only knew the best they could, and guess what?, they fucked up. Within that and along the way within the first 7 years of my life, I didn’t remember a single thing and could not realise where i truly was and could not ever remember all my atrocities that I have caused myself due to lack and not being able to be here as breath and physical life substance. And how everything else in my mind is for the better. That life isn’t worth it, and how I am truly afraid of dying, and even tried to predict my own death, a few years ago, someone dying at this age of 25, or any age, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 or older and how i have come to the end. And have wasted so much of time, and being my own maker. And regretting my own making of mistakes as if they were not investigated and questioned as to why I live and how I live and how and why I think specifically and how I never come to challenge what has truly been here this whole time. And how I have been in my own delusion and self interest this whole time and that I never truly ever considered anyone and anybody at all, i only considered myself to be here for me and not for anyone else as if there were to be some type of case for someone to wipe themselves out with a single addiction to one freight train type thought. That isn’t even in my best interest, especially when it is towards death, not realising that, I am the fucker who will fuck myself in oblivion and into the gave, 6 feet down into inferiority, along with my detrimental thoughts have yet to be questioned. Within my desires, wants and needs, that weren't really serving me best, when I am feeling as if I should be waiting for something, when I should be going after what life has to offer for the better.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to as a parent, friend, society, news, media, tv shows, movies, tv shows as movies, family, mother, and father, brother, sister, and etc, to be living life as if I am ready to waste more days. And soon regret my own decision to truly meet my other makers and true maker of parents and myself and all the things I never got to do in this rightful moment and how it is feeling as if I have truly regretted my decisions about whatever I did. And who I did it to, and who i made feel bad, sad, or happy in a manipulated way, thinking that this is the best way for in spitefulness of my abuse to others. When in fact, I would be doing those things to myself, not realising that those lies are what others have done to me, is in reality for me to accept and allow without truly realising the contradiction. That I will later live and do unto others, as others have done those detrimental actions to me, without me realising what it is and what it is like to question such a thing that wasn’t even in my best interest. Nor was it for the other person either at all whatsoever. If I hurt one another, If I lie to another, If i continue to deceive another, those lies and detrimental acts that I have come to live as the flesh and living word that is of poisonous word and act and deed, will be me in another person's body to do that to myself as well. Not realising that I would be doing such a detrimental and derogatory and defamatory thing to myself and to defame my own life as if I need to take some type of revenge upon one another, and how their life doesn’t mean worth a shit to me. And how I have yet to realise what life truly is and how to go after and for things that I want and to do what is and what was best for all, instead my starting point was all about myself and how i didn’t want to help another, just because they would also eventually meet their maker as well, which is themselves, to wipe themselves out with a feed through to a running freight train with no brakes, and then soon breaking off into the river. And no one will ever know what will happen once they die and pass away, with loved ones crying and parents and fiends, and friends, not considering one another while they had the time they would’ve been here on earth as they are and nowhere else to be or so.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear dying, when in fact and reality, it is only me who is participating in the mind and not being here in the physical, and being so sad to the point that life is truly somewhat not meaningful to me. When in reality, I am just feeding myself a lie, and not moving myself into the right direction for true growth to truly realise what life has to offer and how i can truly live the wonderful life of what we have here and how we can make the best here. And instead this has been going on for quite some time and feeling as if I have nothing to look after and only looking after for one thing and one thing only as if this one money making way is better or a job or anything that i thought had mattered of a sequential opportunity to be sought after. Instead i sit around and do nothing at home, and feeling as if something is going to slam into the window and break and say, here ya go, it is the opportunity to act now and not deploy some type of complacency, knowing that when i see and have an inclination of quantum thought opportunity to do something productive. I end up going in a different direction and not realising what I have thought to see for opportunity and thought to see for opportunity. Instead I went back to doing what I was doing. Was participating in my mind, more and more as if nothing is even here, when in fact and reality, life and reality is here the whole time, I just wasn’t myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that life is here and is truly meant to be seen and what type of opportunity is around me for growth. And to see what I can do for growth, instead of just complain and be in my own latency, as in Spanish and latin, “La” as in “Largo” for long, longing with the “Y”, and how I am longing to be in my own latency as the longing starting point is the ending point of going nowhere. And being belonging to do nothing and and be in my own latency of life and how nothing is even here for me to realise but to participate more and more in my mind and not even bothering to realise how I am sitting, distracting myself into oblivion as if reality isn’t here and no one is here, i’m not here, nothing exists, and feel as if i need to meditate, when in reality, meditation has a limit and limitation to it’s constructed act of being in place. And doing nothing as if meditating is going only to help me bring in what i want, when in reality I should be moving myself and get going to see what life has to offer, when in fact, I am the one who can offer that to myself and for myself, by conversing with others and building relationships instead of building the one and unequal relationship that I still currently have with my mind that isn’t doing something in my own very best interest at all whatsoever. Not realising that I am here and everyone else is here, but the rest are not here, but in their minds to my own assumption to think that things aren’t happening faster enough for the better.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a person and woman/man to tell this young person or any person that he will only sleep when he dies. And how infact, I am only telling him to fuck his health and how it doesn’t matter, as he is making money and not realisng that health is wealth, and how I’ve got it the other way around into trying to give him advice. And for him to accept and allow that from me, is another atrocity, that I would tell myself, but not do it either, and how I am nothing but an abuser for the worst.

When and as I see myself fearing over dying and not being here as breath and awareness, physical substance and awareness truly itself, I stop and breathe, and realise that I am here and nowhere else. I realise that life is here, and for me to not realise that If I participate more and more in my mind I will truly regret the time I've wasted in real life, being the maker of the meeting that is in my mind. Instead of realising what is here and what i can truly create, instead of just being in my head all day, wasting physical space time and real life time. Contrary to the belief of time as minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, when in reality, it is truly wasted breath.

When and as I see myself feeling death and predicting my own death, when in reality and fact, it is a lie, I stop and breathe, and become aware of where I am. I realise that predicting my own death is predicting my own programming of what I have said in the past to myself from movies, tv shows, tv shows as movies, horror, action, suicide, news, media, society, friends, so called friends, associates, so called associates. And even in cartoons of disney, nickelodeon. And much more that wasn’t even in my best interest to fear death as they were bringing up the grim reaper to laugh at people's death and how they tried to kill themselves and had this utter thought. Just one uttered thought, and death shows up with a scythe, ready to cut people's pen and kill them and drag them into the ground into no man’s land and no man’s true living life, but in hell of the mind. When in fact, it is not all real, it is nothing but a made up lie, we and I have all come to accept and allow to believe that is true, when it is not true at all whatsoever.

When and as i see myself wanting to pick out another way to wipe myself out, is in reality, an illusion to delude myself to not live this life anymore, as if it truly didn’t ever matter, i stop and breathe and realise that I have my life here and create something for the better that’s meaningful. I realisee that picking a way out, is in reality, defying and denying what my life is here for and how if I die, everyone will be sad, when in fact, i was the one who will be fucking myself and be dead and not do anything meaningful for myself and for the world at large. For business, environmental matters and energy, and or if anything and how life doesn’t matter, but to participate more in my mind, and be sad, when in fact, that is just another lie of energy, that I am feeding myself to think that life doesn’t matter. When in reality, it does matter. Just others have told me, this stupidity like lie, that i have come to now realise that, with my own real eyes that all of whoever taught me to sleep when i die, is in fact another person influencing me to not take care of my health while making money of any kind. And how that is the most stupidest I have ever accepted and allowed me to come to believe that life and health and money didn’t matter all together as one and equal working.

I commit myself be here as breath and be here as awareness and physical life substance and physical being and expression, and realise what i can do for opportunity for growth and truly realise what life(me and others) can offer for. And how opportunity is waiting to be realised and plucked and cultivated for the better. And how things are of course as the saying goes, “patience is a virtue”, and how we also need and i myself to be patiently aggressive and persistent in creating a world that is best for all life and including for my own family one day and for my family right now. For as I see myself as life and life resonance to improve and adapt for the better.

I commit myself to become more and more and more and more and more and more aware of who I am and how I am and how I will question the way I do things and say things, and become truly the person that I am meant to be. And grow and not just change in limitation by itself, and to actually live the living change through writing self forgiveness, to forgive myself of what is not best within me and realise them through self realisation statements, and to write self commitment statements. To re-correct myself within the tools of TechnoTutor, and Desteni I Process to realise that I have a meaningful life to live for and truly see what opportunity of life can offer with my participation here as breath. For as I see myself a life and life resonance to improve and adapt for the better.

I commit myself to challenge others who try to be in their mind all day long, and waste more physical valuable breath and actual time itself, and how valuable breath should not be considered to be wasted on something that isn’t of worthiness and merit itself. For as I see myself as life and life resonance to improve and adapt for the better!

I commit myself to help my kids and wife be here and breathe and truly create something meaningful for life and help them with the better understanding of what life has to offer and how they can contribute with self honesty and become more and more self honest in our ways. For what is best for ourselves and for others, especially our friends, family, colleagues, business partners, senior partners, employees, associates, and much more of others and how we can help them be here as breath and physical life. So we can realise what we can truly create as awareness and to be nowhere else but here and plan and tactfully execute on business projects, and meet deadlines for our super super super success for the better. And to help all use our valuable breath for what is best and use it wisely and efficiently and effectively for the better as awareness and physical awareness for the better. For as I see myself a slide and life awareness resonance to live the living change and to improve and adapt for the better!