Day 33: Disparaging of Public Opinionated People?, I THINK OTHERWISE!

 

 Disparaging?(Read Aloud and Breathe)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I am disparaging a lot of people in my mind and how it comes out into physical breath and expression. And how I am literally belittling other people who were also inferior to me or even greater at some certain extent and at least any kind of extent for that matter. And how I chose to work with people who had no high self esteem and when things were shot in their own way and that if he/she could not and can not handle the stress and power of life and how ‘supposedly’ intense it is. I am not in realisation that I am belittling the situation and the person as themselves as not an one and equal, I am disparaging the person and myself and the situation and for whatever is at to be of belittled and undermined as if it didn’t even matter even if was not of actual merit and actual value to be used or not or even considered for that matter from the starting point. And how i would try to belittle others as I was belittled to and undermined and undervalued by my own parents, not realising that they were the ones who started from me and how I am now acting their ugly way of being and state of being and personality and character of an ugly judgement and opinion of energy that is going in at different directions and colliding in a non supportive way. But the energy was only going down and further down with the tidy bowl man, when in fact and reality, we are our tidy bowl man and woman, no matter who we are and what we shit down the bowl, as if nothing ever mattered, if it ever was of worthiness. Before even trying to judge it automatically and be so opinionated about something that we think that is not of consideration and to immediately disparage it and diss it, and put it in our parade to go by and immediately judge something without even knowing what it even is in the first place. Even by comparison to see whom was better not, and how people saying and mentioning how my skill, my toy, my food, my personality, my shitty life, my judgmental life, my opinionated life, my girlfriend, my boyfriend, my parent, my child, my house, my car, my jewelry, my suit, my everything, my shoes, my clothes, and all the bullshit under the sun that people and I would judge and belittle by comparison. Just because what I think I have is much better and how others do not have a solution for what is best for me and all, and for all was never considered until it was justified. And how I thought I would try to make it my Vocation to be so opinionated, but I only made it all the time and automatically in my own ways and patterns as a Justification. Just because I was jealous and never had more than another, and how clothes had done the same to me and how my parents did the same to me, and how they compared me to other things and other people. And how other people were better, and didn’t challenge their parents, didn’t challenge themselves, their friends, the things they have, the way they think, the way they do things, the way they live, the way they eat, the way they drink and all of the above. That is coming out of the ass like no tomorrow, when in fact, everyone is so opinionated, and even I was, and didn’t realise sometimes it does come out as unscrupulously just to show a fact of opinion. That is reality, just an opinion and not mere fact. But one’s own truth, that is of a lie and assumption and justification for side and comparison as if no one else matters and how everyone should be judged. As the saying was always stupid come to think of, Don’t judge, let’ ye be judged, when in fact, it is only accepting and allowing someone to disparage me and/or anyone as if someone should undermined and undervalued of an agreement, principle, say so, agreement that was meant to be set out and what they said they would do. But guess what?, it never happened, because people like myself and others were also so opinionated and wanted to disparage every little thing that had legs and mouth, to judge everyone, even a car, bag, suit, personality, all that is to everyone and anyone. As if no one truly considered another as one and equal. When in fact and reality, I was bullshitting myself as if I hadn’t and haven’t had a clue of truly being an one and equal truly ever is, when in fact, I was only disparaging other characters, because I used to be those characters as well, and how now  I am trying to judge and give opinion that is of low value and not of worthiness to be considered and actually used as an Actual Consideration to use that is of self integrity and self honesty for what is best for me and for all. And how using of undermined and undervalued opinions is all opinions, as they all work differently for one another, and how no one has ever truly mentioned it in a common sense way, because the uncommon has made common sense much more uncommon. Now when people do that, it is another way of fact and reality of being blind to what real truth was and actually even was, depending on the situation and whatever it may be, when in fact that is nothing but another opinion. As all facts and judgements are just opinions, no matter good or bad, but the real reality and deep truth, is people use disparaging and opinions and judgements for the starting point that isn’t what’s best, and they’re just trying to undermine and undervalue others, like I did and would have done the same. I would’ve been no different, but another statistic like another in my own mind that had made it up and how others would count to do the same within their secret mind and language and how they confide it to themselves and to others like I would used to do, and did not how bad i suppressed this subtle activity of expression and personality. That was never me, but for what I made it as me to be, and how others would laugh at me and how I laughed at others as well, just because I felt and another felt about me that I was less than them, and how I did the same in some type of subtle automatic way that just so happened to slip out of my mouth. From the unconscious to the subconscious to the conscious act and splurge my ugly opinion of another, as I would do to myself, without even quickly catching it and holding it and taking it apart with self forgiveness. But that was never the case, it was just accepted and allowed in actual quantum physical time and act as if it was never even questioned at all whatsoever. Nobody knew, nobody questioned, nobody challenged, nobody said anything, when in fact and reality, I never said anything either. It only came to me later, and never even came as a thought to consider, but was judged over and over again, as if another didn’t even truly matter at all whatsoever, and how if that person was me, i would’ve done the same thing as others have done to me and AT me. As if I was never considered as another and one and equal just like them, because truly, I never saw it that way, and nor did others ever see it that way either at all whatsoever. Nothing at all, nothing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as parents, friends, media, society, so called associates, so called friends, and all of the above in movies, tv shows, cartoons, reality tv shows and much more. To undermine my child, my friend, and whoever that person was, and how I found myself to do the same, just because  I was bullied and undermined by others in work, school, university, or wherever. And how no one ever questioned why what I said and how I said and what my true actual defiant intention actually truly was behind the definitions of my own assumptions that I had for myself, and how no matter what I said to undermine and undervalue another by comparison and chose people to work with that were inferior to my ultimate and ultimatum of ulterior motive and secret mind, that i need to control another inferior slave just like I am. And not help them to become a one and equal just like me, because guess what?I never saw myself as a one and equal to another, nor did anyone see that for me, because every time, someone would say or do anything to undermine me just because I am a small person and weak or whatever they wanted to call me. Just so I could laugh and believe them, instead of challenging the other person, and how much of an idiot they were to disparage me and how I would now come to consider and undermine and undervalue others by disparaging them when no one ever mattered. Because in fact, and reality, they never did in my own eyes and mind and unconscious and subconscious judgmental and opinionated person as I was and still am. I just didn’t know that I would be doing the same thing to my friend my child, my son, my daughter, or whomever it may be, just because I am much more superior and much more better, when in fact, I was only contradicting my inferiority for superiority just because another seemed to be better and/or either less than me in size, intellectual, ability, skill, articulation, ownership to something, possession of car, jewelry, home, boat, or whatever the fuck it is. And how I would try to judge another thing and give it meaning in my own way and made it so ugly for myself and for another, and how it would be better if it was mine, but in fact and reality, I don’t deserve what I was judging and being opinionated on. I am only making it worse, because if I was that person, I would’ve been judged anyway, not realising that I am also disparaging myself as well, not considering if that were to be me and how I never questioned why I would ever do such a thing to make another feel less than me. Just because someone else made me feel less than me, just because they were also another person who ALSO felt less THAN Themselves as well. Not considering if it were to be factual truth, when in fact it was just a fact and opinion of jealousy by comparison by the mark and real reality of what it is and even was and is right now. No matter the size, quality of acceptance and allowance and the quantity of it being expressed and portrayed as if it was to never be considered, because everyone and even myself as a parent and friend, who would always judge and never say anything of what could’ve been for the best of consideration. It was always disparaged into oblivion until the person, thing or anyone of what they had or not, and how I was just perceiving myself to be the superior one of being the have and possessing the have, while others never had the have. It was only me comparing myself to the have and have nots, when I never considered for everyone to possess a basic need and have, when I was just judging and being opinionated in an ugly way, as if no one actually ever needed anything. And for everyone to suffer like I suffered, and how it hurts me to suffer, just because someone else was suffering and did that to me and how others were as well. Like my parents, and then theirs and then theirs and then theirs and 7 generations, until it was to ever be realised and self forgiven. As if no one actually noticed what true self forgiveness and forgiveness really truly is, when in reality, the person will end up doing the opinionated comparing atrocity all over again, even when they want to downplay and disparage their own acts and their own way of skill. And how good they were becoming and how others gave me compliments, but I never accepted them, because ini fact and reality. I would always disparage myself as I would’ve done to another, in blind shear self sabotaging affect and acs, as if I would be staring into the midst as others were making fun of me, and how I didn’t do anything back. And I just stared and sat there, while accepting the ugly opinions and comparisons of the judgements that were being expressed and thrown at me with ugly poisonous breath. And how I never realised that I would’ve done the same thing to others, just because I had it myself during childhood, teenage years, work, or wherever, it was to have fun. But not ever noticing the joke and other jokes that were being displayed and portrayed and conveyed, were actually being taken seriously, when a joke is not meant to be that way, when it seemed so real as an ugly disparaging insult to make another feel bad. Just because everyone wanted to have fun in the hut and drinking and eating food. No one ever noticed why that ever was, until things got serious in a moment and second, as if it ever felt an actual eternity of what was going on and being portrayed and conveyed right before my eyes and ears. As my unconscious and subconscious mind was picking up the atrocity and how it came about to act that much later in my life, when I saw another as inferior and unequal than me by opinion and comparison and actually ugly judgement. As if no one was ever to be considered and talked with to have friends and have someone there to be with them and give each other attention to be supported, instead of just being neglected for the worst.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to choose and disparage unconsciously without even knowing what I was doing and of the fact that I was choosing people who had actual no self esteem to be on my team. Because in fact and reality, i also had low self esteem and fortitude as well, no matter who it was, whoever got burned, and now have to be arrogant and rude and have to compare themselves to undermine and undervalue another as if I haven’t gotten a clue of what life was supposed to be about. When I only lived it for my own self interest and only my own consideration and not for another, just because I suffered in my life, and how others undermined and undervalued me in their opinionated ways, and how in that way other people and more and more and more and more other people did. In a sequence that would’ve been predictable, but obviously I never saw it that way, because everyone's opinion and disparaging act and comparison and judgement and scornful ugly opinions, thought to be as fact and truth. When in fact and reality those qualities and personality traits are of another person, so they want to judge another for who they are as the mirror that is within them. And how I found myself doing that so subtly at times, and never even questioned why i would do something so subtle and never catch it, just because it is a ‘Normal’ of ‘Normality’ type of thing to do, when in fact and reality, it is not, it never was and never will be. Because i was so spiteful and how others were so spiteful towards me and at me, I just had to do it to another to ‘even’ with another, and make others feel less than me, while I was less than myself, trying to superior in an opinionated and judgmental way of all kinds and varying degrees of opinions and judgements. Just because it was never considered to be redirected into a different way, because that is how society is, and how we will ever be and become and never change, because I’ve accepted and allowed that to BE ME, when in fact it was never me, in the first place. It was the starting point of making others feel ever less, and not ever more, than they were at all whatsoever. Because I wanted to feel more than one another, just because I felt ever more less than myself, just because others had judged and disparaged me, and hw at times, I need to do it to another, no matter if it is any bigger in the mainstream media, and disparage another, just because I would’ve said those things about me to if I were another on tv as well, in person, a book, or anywhere or anything in a conversation or not, or even by myself in my own secret and secrecy of my own secret mind. How ugly that is, isn’t it?, even when it came to work, business, relationship, friends, colleagues, anything of that matter, no matter what it was of anything, no how big or small, or not so significant, as it was or not at all whatsoever under any circumstance and event and opportunity to do so that was not best as the starting point was just to undermine and undervalue another by comparison of opinion and insult and that was, nothing more, nothing less, just as is, as I would’ve done to myself as well, without even a thought, question, challenge, or anything, no matter it is and was. Nothing was ever considered, nothing was ever held back, because I only made it to BE me and who I am and was, from the actual starting point of no man’s land to go nowhere, with any type of productive result at all whatsoever to become completed and sought after for. Nothing at all whatsoever to be undermined and undervalued or not at all.

When and as i see myself wanting to undermine and undervalue and disparage another as inferior and how I am superior, I stop and breathe.

When and as i see myself choosing another person that is of low self esteem to be with me, work with me and be in my company or anywhere, I stop and breathe, and realise if they could be qualified or not by questions and casual conversation as one and equal as another.

When and as I see myself wanting to make myself inferior and have a superior contradiction as if another and/or myself is not one and equal, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself not wanting to be here and always be in my mind judging as if things, possessions, personalities, ways of being and saying and doing, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself judging something before it even happens and having some type preconceived notion by comparison of time, quality, size, possession, or whatever the case it may be, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself undermining and undervaluing by comparison and comparing myself or that person just to themselves and to another thing that must be better by opinion or either just by fact and un-resolving opinion that isn’t even real but from a starting point of what is not best for all and of unworthiness, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself judging myself in comparison and undermining and undervaluing myself in judgmental ways and how opinionated they could possibly even be, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself having the urge to have an opinionated opinion and undermine and undervalue another by comparison and just pure judgement as backchat and urge to speak it and express it, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself disparaging what others have and what I don’t have yet and/or what I have now is to be perceived as better and could’ve done better just because another person has something supposedly better than mine, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself judging and being opinionated as if a situation could’ve been better and immediately undermine and undervalue by disparaging it automatically, without even considering why the person or thing was even coming up to be that way by just curiosity instead, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself judging myself for what I could’ve done better and immediately disparage myself and make myself inferior just because I should’ve done a better job and work for what I’ve done, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself disparaging myself to stop doing something that is bring me of value and/or doing something that isn’t bringing me of actual productive value of anything, i stop and breathe and reconsider my options for what is best for me, and for others when if I am around others and to be here and nowhere else.

When and as I see myself urging myself to have the possession to urge to disparage myself and another or anything in my mind or in expression or whatever, I stop and breathe.

I realise that trying to disparage another, is just in reality, showing the qualities that  have within me and how i adopted to accept and allow what another has and had said to me to make me look like what they see me as. With an ugly distorted face, as if they were looking over from whomever was in their way to judge another as if he/she or even myself were of no actual value, just because I saw myself doing the same thing. And never had the attention and affect, but the abuse that was caused and how I somehow came to act as that character in a moment of destruction upon one another as I had experienced the destruction being expressed upon me as well. And how I never knew that something so simple was just adopted as is and never was questioned at all ever since its inception of it’s very first encounter of a comparison and opinionated insult as if it were to be of worthiness to be of superiority instead of actual admittance of inferiority. And not even bothering to question the one and unequal judgement and opinion that is not even what’s best for all at all whatsoever. And how I didn't realise that  would hurt another, as I was hurt myself to see what poisonous and witnessed breath that was being portrayed and expressed upon me. As by the thousand hours blocking out the sun I deserved to see, was darkened and blacked out by another who never had my best interest at heart. And how I came out to be doing the same thing, just because I was hurt by another, and wanted to take revenge and use it as ammo when needed. When in fact and reality, it was never meant to be done like that to another, it was always used to be revenge and to get ‘even’. When there is “even” for what is supposed to be best for all, instead it was the starting point to disparage the starting point and mop up to reveal the starting point that was always for anger and revenge and that was plainly it. It was never for anything else, it was always for vengeance, no matter how subtle and insignificant it was, it was never considered to be best, it was always of scornful disrespect for the worst.

I realise that the insignificance of judgement and disparaging is so automatic that we never and I never had the intention to actually even question before we spew it out of our own mouths as if it was just a casual and respectful thing to do. When in fact and reality, it was just perceived and deemed and deemed to be in quantum time and physical reality of the being as energy to be said automatically without question or challenge. Because of the different definitions that we’ve always had and how we live this simple insignificant thing as the flesh, and how it is a part of me, and us, and how no one ever questioned a single thing to be in the light to be investigated, because in reality, and fact, we never knew how. And we never did, up until realising what it truly even was at all whatsoever.

I realise that trying to hurt another, is in fact the mirrored quality of who we are and to what we’ve accepted and allowed it to be, without eve question to what it was, because in fact, it was just mere subtle judgement and disparaging what was not even us, but from what someone else had and how big we got of something or how small it was, or whatever. It was always being made fun of, and how the joke now turns into a personal taking, that was never sought for to be what was best for all at all whatsoever. It always for insult and making another feel less than themselves, when they were just innocent, when in fact I was never innocent myself, I was just accepting and allowing myself to not be innocent by non-innocent people, when I was only innocent from the very starting point, but it was tarnished for the worst. Therefore I think I am, I am not, therefore I think I am not, there I am. But in fact, I was never me, my innocence was ruined and tarnished. And now that  I’ve realised, I can finally become more and more and more free for the better.

I commit myself to see one another as a one and equal, not superior, nor inferior, but consideration of position in the world, and how it is possible for everyone to become better and truly have a better life. An abundant life for that matter, it takes time for everyone to be there, to see one another as an one and equal and no different, but of the proper support for another, as for those who deserve it, and those who are worthy of it. And seeing things as they are, and no different, but for what it is and as it is, and how it can truly become better for the Actual better  for those around us. Depending  on the situation of  and for all for what is best and for what best for all! For as I see myself  as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better to live the living change as life!

I  commit myself to see myself and improve myself as my self image and how I can become better and encourage others to do the same and recommend the tools and support for those who are ready to walk their process to life. And to rebirth as life, as they were supposed to be, even though most do not realise that their innocence has been tarnished, whether they know it or not. And to help others see themselves as one and equals step by step, breath by breath of the way, and that of course it starts one by one, step by step, breath by breath. That I understand, we’re not here to save everyone, we’re here to change the system, step by step of the way within breath by breath as actual physician participants as within and without in our real world to walk our living change. To become the best versions of ourselves each and everyday, no matter what any fear monger tries to say, they don’t even know where their thoughts even come from, so they are just merely clueless as they are, and that is okay. And also to create big business, to do what is best, and change the education, the environment, the pollution, the life we see as it is today, that we know it can be better. First we must know that we have to do it for ourselves, and not just for others, change ourselves first for ourself, and not just for others as well and how we can better conduct ourselves and days and businesses, and lives and interacting with others as well for the better! Along with leadership to truly become the New 1% of the 1%. Within the 1% of the 1%, to change the system as it does take time, to take over for all to have the benefit they were supposed to have. For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better to live the living change as life!

I commit myself to encourage my kids and my wife as well to do the same to encourage each other, and improve and adapt to understand what it is within our environment and implement Real Education to what is best of Real Effective Learning and understanding. And how we can truly become better for ourselves and for them as well. That they deserve the best than we had, when we were kids and growing up, while we and I are creating our Empires and monopolies to do and change what was meant to be here as what is best for all and around us for the better! For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better to live the living change as here as life!

I commit myself to encourage and praise myself and my kids and my wife, and the people that work with me, and who I work with as a company within my salespersons, employees, directors, senior partners, clients, customers, etcetera. And improve and encourage others to do the same and to consider one and equal as another, not superior, nor inferior, just to improve and adapt for ourselves and for each other, to help each other. In times of those to help thy neighbor, as they would help themselves, no matter how they feel and think, it is to stabilize ourselves and be here, and to do what is best for others and each other for the better as a family, corporation, and company for the better. For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better with patience and understanding and persistence, and even overcome nature itself to whatever we want to achieve together in this world for the better!

I commit myself to defy and challenge those with respect if needed so with dignity for, if anyone tries to disparage another or me or anyone. Just because of their public opinion to try belittle another for something that isn’t what’s best for all. For as i see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better!

I commit myself to write self forgiveness to forgive myself of what is not best within me, and to write self breathing statements of what if a refraction of a reaction were to come up, to stop and breathe and take directive principle as myself as an individual. And to realise the self forgiveness through self realisation statements to realise what I had reacted to and have reacted that was not best for me to be exposed to and to realise it now for the better. And within that, I commit myself to write self commitment statements, to recorrect myself to what is best for me and how I interact and conduct myself with others and how I interact with others to make something of a meaningful productive result. Along with consistency and to improve along the way for the better. And to use the tools of Self forgiveness and self corrective application to live and recorrect to live the living change for the better. Along with the tools of TechnoTutor, Desteni I Process, the Desteni Blogs to Life, and to become the best versions to rebirth as life to create something meaningful and a big impact within this world for me and for others around and for the world! For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better to live the living change as life!