Postponement
(Read aloud and breathe)
I forgive myself accepting and allowing myself to not realise that when I do get too comfortable and have to postpone my efforts and actions and how I get so weak minded in a sense and ways to avoid what is actually helping me and growing me. And it feels as if my routine is always the same and driving the same way and how far it is getting me, but there are many things that I am yet be aware to investigate of, and it is all stacking up and up and up to the point where I don’t even know when I will ever escape the poverty line. And not ever considering the fact that I think I will not be able to get to where I want by postponing my efforts as if there is no tomorrow, just because I feel ever so much more comfortable with my own ways as if something or nothing is about to even happen for me or not.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that postponing each and everything that seems ever so hard for me, that this and it has affected each and every decision that I’ve ever made, no matter how much I’ve persisted and persevered to make things a true reality for me, and even though no matter how much I did, I would always somehow end up stopping myself as if my life is nothing to have s true purpose after. And how I need to be doing something else that makes me feel good instead of going towards the resistance and doing the task and thing at hand, and how it feels ever so neutral, but even though, when and as I do postpone, i do not realise that I am also losing more and more and more of myself trust as if my life needs to be secluded and excluded of what is best for me and how I am not realizing that my parents did the same thing to me and how I saw other parents and people as well, postponing and taking things away from themselves, their children, other people’s children, and many other adults that would do the same thing. Without any question and/or challenge if necessary to realise the atrocity that they are doing to themselves and how this will compound over and over into their life and how I was not realisation, to be projected onto with that. And how that fucked me up and affected each and every decision blindly as if nothing was even there in the first place, when in fact and actuality, it was always there, I was just postponing because the task and the thing seemed so hard and couldn’t even process the information and that was also one of the reasons and why for and therefore to excuse myself of what is meant to be done and how I don’t know what my future holds for me, if I just complain and do nothing with my life to extract what could’ve been done. And how it always has been revolving around this no matter what I did and wanted to do. I would always postpone for something easier, instead of just doing the task at hand and completing it no matter what. And how that wasn’t the actual case, I’ve always made a hassle for myself just to get things even though I didn’t feel like it, and when I did, it felt easy and fun to be complacent not realising that I was being complacent to the point of no return, not even considering that I was screwing myself over into oblivion and recorrecting myself immediately, because I had such a low processing ability, and poor foundation, that I was never able to see it, nor was any of the people that I’ve ever known and even my parents had done the same thing, to never notice and correct me in a stable way. They would always postpone to support me, and how they would do the same damn things to themselves and to others and to me and projected onto me that they’ll do it tomorrow or just a little later, and how in reality, they’ve always had time, they were just were to fucking busy distraction themselves on something worthless and useless. Instead of heeding attention to support me, because in fact and reality these fuckers never supported themselves, truly, because no one has ever put the best interest in them, no wonder they couldn't do it for themselves, emotionally and financially, and how in fact and reality this is another form and realisation of living words as being a deadbeat loser. And of course, no wonder they couldn't even heed attention to what was best for me and to support me emotionally with stability and financially, they never knew what i wanted. So they eventually postponed taking me anywhere and easily gave up on me as if I didn’t even matter to them, because in fact, I never did. I was never taken into consideration of and from my parents, because they never cared, even though they do say it, they do not mean it, they are lying to me, they are lying to themselves, to make me feel good to say they love me, when in fact and reality, they do not care about me, nor they do love me, and most importantly, not giving me a life of stability and abundance, and instead they only gave me lack and limitation and massive instability and harsh yelling and hitting and abuse. And how along the way, throughout my life, I also have abused myself and done things to postpone myself and never have the best interest at heart in myself, therefore, I never could even realise that detrimental point up until right now as i speak and write this. How no matter of any decision and circumstance of an opportunity of anything, I always postponed for something that wasn't even best for me and how the words i was living as the DNA as hereditary information was including and excluding me and how and all of my decisions and emotions, thoughts, words spoken, deeds to be expressed were all forfeited at some point in time that I couldn’t even make it to be true and real for myself. No wonder I am not able to make anything real for myself, no wonder I am postponing such a simple thing to do, such as reading a book, writing self forgiveness, doing my business, making money, taking care of my health, that was all to be neglected. And how my father comes up to me and says I’m getting thinner and skinny, and how I never knew that I was living the living word of postponement and even giving up so easily to the point where I want to go towards the path of least resistance. And how I am not even aware of what the future holds for me, even if I do so I end up not taking the full responsibility for my life to make something actual real and of value for the better. But instead, it was never that way at all, whatsoever, under any circumstance, event, time, opportunity, no matter how late or early or midday, exhausted or not, not wanting to do anything so just to follow energy whether positive or negative, it doesn’t matter. Everything was all postponed to some varying point and degree of delusion and illusion to the very worst of everything and for everyone, even for myself. And how I saw all of my friends, who were losers in the very past, did the same thing, without any question, nor challenging if necessary to realise that they are losing even more of their self trust and, therefore, nothing true will ever happen in their lives. And how I have noticed that for me for a very long time, no matter what I did. And wanted to do, even if things fell apart, due to postponement and not even doing the correct thing to achieve what could’ve been effective in the process and within efficiency itself. No wonder I was not able to do what was best, for myself, nor could i even do it for anyone else at all whatsoever, because I had no true self trust for myself, therefore, I would always postpone to postponement in all facts and opinions of all that there ever was to be existent within me as a lie. And how I have been living to not express myself and post myself into the ground and not do anything and not move anywhere to have a real life. But to live in delusion and colluding myself within my detrimental emotions that weren’t even benefiting me, even though I accepted and allowed them to be as me and as who I am and who i will become for the worst of all, into no man’s land, at the end of the abyss where there is no one in the abyss, but myself, at the end of the pit and bottom of the pit. To do nothing but seclude my life into oblivion for the worst. Even if I do know that I need help and need to connect with others, I postpone that and never want to do anything for real and network and connect with others, therefore, I am as well postponing myself as if something should be flying out of the sky to hit me in the head and say my prayers have been answered, hallelujah with delusion and illusion of a religious fool who knows nothing, acting as if I ever was, religious and enlightened with people trying to impose this figure that has died over 2000 years and even with fictional character of the so called “God”, when there is no good. People have idolized a fake figure and to make this backchat voice and internal conversation voice in their head, to be god or the devil when they do experience the good voice as god, and the backchat as the devil. When in fact and reality, they are postponing their realisation to what isn’t even real, when they are just purely ego, and nothing else, but a deluded idiot for the worst.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to postpone myself to distractions ever so easily and how I urge myself ever so slightly to the point of as if it is no return and even if I do stop myself, I end up postponing as if the current task never mattered to me. Even though it did, I just wanted to do something easier, and restrain myself to stop what I’m doing, no matter how far I am into the task, and getting so much done in the best ways possible. But in fact and reality, I never really considered that I was doing that, even though I would stop myself and breathe, although I would still not go towards doing what’s best for me and not truly ever taking care of what is here for me and for others and how others would do the same thing and postpone me. When in fact and reality, I never truly cared about myself, emotionally, financially and health wise, no wonder I postponed many things, never made the time for it and made so many excuses beyond cringing belief that isn’t even best for me, nor was it for others at all whatsoever. And how i would fuel the self interest in detriment and not ever question why i was even doing something, even if it was just something to be simple and no matter how intense it got for me, I felt like i was never able to handle myself resonantly, because in fact and reality, I couldn’t. Therefore, ever since, I could not be able to do anything for myself, nor for others, because i never truly trusted myself by just merely postponing my life at each and every turn and corner to oblivion as if my life never ever truly mattered for the better.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that this also came financially as well, and how nothing has ever improved in my life, ever since, the age of 9 when i did get my first $1000 USD as a birthday present from all of my father’s and mother’s friends and family. And how it was all wasted and stolen from me by my own father, just to buy something for, but not letting me know how much was left, and how he thought I would not be able to handle how much of that money. No wonder he kept it for himself and never gave anything back to me and to actually teach me something and be honest with me, instead he postponed and took it anyway, without even telling me that there was more than enough money left for the actual laptop that was purchased and bought for me. Because I truly wanted one. But I never got what I wanted for myself to use and have left for myself. And how he never taught me anything about money, he only wanted me to be another consumer, just like him, and to use all of this ammo like bullshit and use it against me instead of telling it to my fucking face, and instead he become so a coward loser, like he will always be, no wonder my life isn’t better at all, just because I was never taught to the things of money and how it works. I was ever only more taught to use it and spend it only, and to never make anything true and real of it, and how ever since, I’ve never done anything big with it, no matter how much I try to make my business, and other investments to be of an actual real reality and manifestation. It was never that way, no wonder I never believed in myself either, I never did, I never trusted myself, because my parents never believed and trusted in themselves, they've always disbelieved in themselves and distrusted themselves, into mere strict blind oblivion for the worst. And how I thought that doing things were and we're so hard for me to achieve and do, when in and reality, I never had a true purpose for my life to do things easily sand make it fun, I’ve always made it hard and difficult and restraining and straining myself to do something that is easier just to feel good in oblivion, that doing hard things should be cultivated and praised. It was always the easy things and sometimes the majority of it was in mere actual complacency for the worst. Even when it came to sleep and waking up and postponing each and every time that I would wake up early I would just go back to sleep no matter what time it was, and how my parents expressed this to me to do not wake up and go back to sleep just like we have and do nothing with your life, as we have done nothing with our lives. In sheer mere stupidity for the worst. And how this came as well within financially and how I would come to a point of what a certain amount of money as of $2000 USD is what making it in life is, when in fact and reality, i never saw more than that much in my account, no wonder I was postponing each and every time and having to purchase something else and made my funds go down more and more. To things that I didn’t even need and how I got this stupid habit and detrimental habit from my mother and my father, and how they would self sabotage themselves and their finances, to the point where they don’t ever have enough to themselves and would always complain about how they don’t have enough money and have to pay bills. How sad and detrimental that is to project onto himself constantly and even on to me. And how I’ve never realised that I was doing the same thing to myself, not ever knowing why I was doing that to myself. For the worst. Even when this came to business, financial motive and drive for anything, it was all wasted for the worst.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a father to postpone my son and myself into straight oblivion to the point of no return and actual potential realisation that could've been for the better. But in fact, it was never for the better, even when it did come to going to places for fun and how i never explained to him to why things were taking so long because I was lost, and never was able to admit it, because I just didn’t want my make my son scream and yell anymore just because of how far we are from a certain place. And couldn't even get to the place where we were wanting to go together, and how we never ever since did anything together, because I could ever explain and express myself to what and how long a place is and how far it is, to where we will attend to the point to do something actually real for real. Even when I would do things for him, but someone end up reassuring myself into oblivion and never end up doing, always making a stupid ass excuse of oh tomorrow, tomorrow tomorrow, later in a ugly complaining face and expression so ugly and detrimental to be projecting that type of thing and expression onto my son and more onto myself, as if I don’t even know why this automatic pattern is and what i am doing with my life to think t hat my life is the way it is for the worst. No wonder I don’t have anything that I’ve ever wanted and how my whole family of my side and my current family is at a stand still halt and doing nothing with their lives, because I never truly did anything true with my life, no wonder I don’t have the things that I want, and how my side of the family is poor, broke, stupid, a bunch of idiots, just like me and how I’ve made my son into a blinded idiot, just like me and how my wife is the same way as well. Not ever considering why I was ever deeming myself to be a deadbeat or not. Even though I am, I’m not wanting to admit it, because I am so damn dishonest and untrustworthy, to the point where my life will never get better, because I don’t believe in becoming better, nor do i trust myself in becoming better, therefore, I will never have anything true and abundant in this world. Nor will anyone in my life will ever have it either, just because I cut off each and every relationship that I’ve ever had, and how I am making excuses that all I have is me and a couple people. And how others have died off due to alcohol and drugs, and how i was so close to dying as well. How sad, and depressing that is, to be doing that to myself, just thinking that it is my identity and therefore, this is who I am and who I will become as a moron for the worst.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a mother to postpone and not realise that when something is hard and difficult, I always tend to go back to distractions, do other things that aren’t even best for me and how I am so addicted to distraction and dishonesty and no trust at all whatsoever. Untrustworthy for the greatest oblivion, even when it came to caring and giving to my son, I was never able to give to him, because i was only so ever interested in giving to myself only and never helping my son, because i never believed in sharing and always wanted it to be in oblivion and always have it all for me. And how I made my son to be that way, even when it came to food, and nutrition, things and other stuff, and money, it was never for the better, it was always this weird confusion because I never could be able to talk with him to be able to make a real conversation that is to be real and to talk about things and how to do it and how to talk together. But it was never any of that, it was always complacency and postponement to do whatever I WANTED to do, it was never about anyone else, it was all about me me me me me, fucking me, that’s it. Like literally nothing else, but ti postpone for what is easy to do and simply to do and how i refrain from it so easily and have to distract myself, no matter simple anything is to do, no matter how difficult, it’s simple to take the first step and keep going in the right direction to make something real and valuable for the better. But ever since, it was never for the better, therefore, I never truly knew how to take care of my son, myself, my husband, my family, my mother and other people. Losing people in my life was never an issue, but it taught me to not care, because I am just an absolutely individual, but even that, I make it to the point where I don’t care about anyone but my own self and to never take care of what is here and who needs what and what needs to be heeded to, instead postponing into complete delusion as if my life didn’t even matter to anyone, nor did theirs ever matter to me at all whatsoever. And how I’ve never had the best interest in my son, nor for myself, nor for my husband, nor for anyone, no wonder no one ever talks to each other and with each other, at all whatsoever, everyone has departed because they are all dishonest in my own assumptions. And how I am also dishonest with myself as well, and as well as my husband as well, for the deadbeat loser he is. Complaining and blaming me for his mistakes and same as well for his son as well, for the absolute worst.
That if you are in attempt to kill yourself, you are dishonest, and there is no return to that.
When and as I see myself postponing something of a task that is simple and not doing what I simply plan out to do, I stop and breathe and do the task anyway and get it done.
When and as I see myself postponing for my health and fitness, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself postponing my financial stability to grow and make better decisions, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not being here and aware, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself deviating towards something else that isn’t best, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself easily going towards something else that isn’t best and having to distract myself for just a moment, and if I do not turn back, I stop myself immediately, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself being bored and not doing anything, just to postpone for what is not best for me, nor for anyone, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself postponing myself from waking up and snoozing the alarm and going back to sleep just because I “feel” tired, I stop and breathe and get up and get my day started.
When and as I see myself postponing myself to stop asking for what I want, just because it feels as if it is too much, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself neglecting my responsibilities and not simply doing the thing that is best, no matter how much resistance there is, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself stopping just because I want to postpone and not continue, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself being and wanting to become complacent and not do the thing and task at hand, I stop and breathe, and do the task anyway, no matter what.
When and as I see myself not being here and enjoying company with others, and even feel that I am not there or whatever it is, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself being bored and doing nothing and slouching, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not growing my business and making any sort of real money so I can truly be free, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself about to eat disgusting food from my parents, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself procrastinating and not being able to get out of the poverty line for true help, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not asking for help to get any support and help for anything, I stop and breathe.
When and as i see myself not supporting myself nutritionally with any sort of food for myself, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself postponing my decisions for my present and future, not knowing when and what the future holds for me, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself getting comfortable and urging myself to do so, with what and where my life is emotionally, and financially and relationships and health wise and fulfillment, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not focusing and going back and forth on what I am doing and how I am not getting things done in an effective and efficient manner, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself compromising for what is not best for me, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself potentially making a decision that would put me in a detrimental manner, no matter how small or big, or medium sized decision, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not giving myself or anyone the proper attention to be heeded for to become better and truly make a better life, I stop and breathe.
When And as I see myself complaining that something is taking too long, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not taking responsibility for my life for anything of financial, emotional stability, in improper sequences and health, of anything, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not using simple common sense, to make something better to what I do not have yet, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself leaving things dirty unintentionally to clean it up, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not taking responsibility for myself and for others as well, I stop and breathe, and take responsibility with common sense and practicality for the better.
When and as I see myself not taking self responsibility for what is best for me of common sense and practicality, pragmatically, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself doing things on theory and saying it into theory, and not making it real, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself wasting time and breath of what is actually going on, for things that aren’t even best for me, nor for others, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself wasting precious time of minutes and hours and days and weeks and months, and years, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not using self honesty to create what’s best for all, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not persisting to create what’s best to have and use to create something for the better, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not being accurate on what I do and express as for the better, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself getting an attempt at frustration because of some little postponement, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself not supporting myself and being complacent and not as well to not get the support either for it, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself ignoring myself to not do what is best and as well with others as well, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself dressing formally and not making it the best to do something about it for myself to make something true and real financially as well, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself wanting to be complacent and not grow as an individual to do what is best, I stop and breathe.
When and as I see myself postponing my decisions and tasks and to regret it later on, I stop and breathe.
I realise that postponing my decisions will be a big regret for me later on in my life, not even considering the fact that I’ve missed out on so much by postponing each and every thing that I’ve done and have attempted at. And never went fully through with the task and business itself. And how nothing has ever happened for me ever since, I had learned to postpone from my parents and from school itself. And how I didn’t want to actually od the task because I felt like I was forcing myself due to the fact of my instability and not able to process information, even if I do force myself, I somehow gain myself a loss into oblivion and regret what I should’ve done in the past to make real. And how nothing has ever been real in my life ever since.
I realise that I’ve made a lot of decisions that weren’t even best for me, even if I keep going in the wrong direction for what is not best, i will not realise that I am doing what’s not best for me, not guiding myself and knowing exactly what I am doing the whole entire time, as if life wasn’t already here in the physical itself. It was just me as the mind, fucking with myself, as if my life isn’t worthy of anything to be created for real, and how I’ve never made any real money, due to my postponement and how negative of a person I am, downing myself as if my life didn’t even matter. No wonder I never did ever trust myself, nor believed in myself, to make something real and physical and tangible to use and make abundant and lively for the better. And how I am always trying to postpone myself into oblivion and not do anything real with my life to advance for real, and how I would always isolate myself into varying degrees of postponement, not ever knowing the true meaning of support and effort long within it, at all whatsoever. Nor did anyone ever have given me the support, therefore, I felt like I had the abdication to not let anyone help me, but me, but my help never truly helped me truly, because no one ever truly supported me. So for how I was having a lack of support that was ineffective and inefficient, from my parents and other people, now that I am doing that to myself, not even realising that I am deluding myself detrimental for the worst, not even for the better at all, whatsoever. And how this has affected each and every decision and interaction that I’ve ever made and in an attempt to make at all either, nothing for the better at all, whatsoever. No wonder I am not where I want to be in my life. And how i am not asking for the support that I need, even though i do it for myself, I just don’t have that true interaction with others, because I am not making the effort to do so, no matter how I feel, it just doesn’t occur, because I’m doing it physical, from and as the inner change as no outer change, has been a living lie for me, and how I’ve never made the inner change as the outer change real, and only always made it unreal for the worst. No wonder I do trust myself fully at all, whatsoever.
I realise that my life of postponement has been this way for a very very very long time and how I’ve never done anything for real, and how this has affected each and every decision an interaction that I’ve attempted and made into while moving myself. Nothing for real, just buying things that don’t even matter even when it comes to money, I’ve never had more than enough. But even if I think that I had more than enough and thought I made it making $2,000 USD, it’s not enough, I am in actuality still poor and broke for the worst. Not strong enough to be able to support myself and exclude each and every relationship that I’ve ever had and never talk to anyone, even if I do still have their contact to talk with them. I just don’t make the effort, and how I realised that father had done the same, and how I am as well, doing it and isolating myself and no talking with anyone to get any support to do something real in this world, no wonder I am nothing but a copy just like my father, and deadbeat just like him, for the absolute worst of all.
I realise that this also came from my mother and as well as school itself and even at home, she was never there and always wanted to leave and never support me, she never knew how to express herself, nor did I ever do that either. It was always me being quiet and secluded for the worst. No wonder I was not able to express myself fully and do whatever it takes to make a life worth living, instead it was created and given to me and now i am living it in lack and limitation in such an abundant reality, where there is nothing for me, because of how blind and delusional my life is and how I am as well for the worst.
I realise that in school, that I’ve never made the effort either, even when it came to making money for myself and having to spend on things that I don’t even need and have to spend a whole bunch just because I do not value money and my life. Therefore, I would postpone myself by buying things and degrading my opportunities to make something real and better in my life, no wonder I’ve never had way more than 2 grand in accounts, and how nothing has ever happened for the better for me at all whatsoever. I never knew what it was like to expand and make more to have an abundant life, therefore, it was always at some type of lack and limitation of my confidence, for nothing to ever be truly achieved at all whatsoever. Even if I do get so much more, I wouldn’t be able to handle it, because I just don’t know how to, because I never learned how to, nor was it taught me, by anyone, not even my parents, because they deep down, do not care, therefore, I do not care either, at all whatsoever.
I realised that I’ve never actually used the opportunities around me, to make a better execution for and make something real, therefore, I as well was not able to communicate effectively and efficiently to make something of myself to express myself truly and make relationships true and cultivating for the better, therefore, I never made any true real money, because I was in actuality, living the detrimental word, of postponement to do nothing truly with my life. Therefore, I could not even achieve much more than I could ever even fathom to where I am right now. And how this has affected each and every decision, and was the culminating point of all and how my life is the way it is, no matter how things got, whether it was easy, medium, hard, or whatever the fuck it was. Things were hard and difficult, because I made them so, and never saw it simply to take advantage of it and make it the best. And how I’ve never done that ever since, in my life, at all whatsoever. And how no one of my parents and friends in the previous past years, never did the same thing either, at all whatsoever.
I realised that I’ve never had a family that supported me, nor did they even express themselves to me, but only did it in abuse and emotionally and physically, tearing me down to not ever truly achieve more for the better. As if I was actual competition to them, in fact, Ui was, for the worst. No wonder I am not where I want to be in my life, to be, do and have anything and everything that I’ve ever wanted to do in my life at all whatsoever. Because I never knew how to support myself, because my parents never taught me, therefore, I was never able to do it myself, and for anyone at all whatsoever. No wonder I isolated myself into oblivion and secluded myself off, nothing was actually ever for the better, at all.
I realise that I was never able to use self honesty as the deciding factor for what my life could’ve been for the better, therefore, I always used half and half honesty and dishonesty in contradiction, double thinking. Doing nothing with my life for the worst, no wonder I was never able to do anything else self honestly and with self trust, doing whatever it takes no matter what it was.
I realise that this has affected my health as well, waking up at a certain time of either 5 or 6 or 7 then going back to sleep just because I want to postpone my morning and day not ever wanting to get it started, just because of postponement for the worst. Not even bothering to make anything real for myself, nor could I do it for myself truly nor with anyone, because I always secluded myself, and isolated myself, therefore, I never did anything with anyone, and how others would do the same in oblivion as well.
I realise that every time I did something bad, my parents would always hit me and abuse me and how I never realised that every time I did something bad that wasn’t best for me, I ended up abusing myself and others and no wonder I eventually excluded myself from others. And how my life is a living hell for the worst.
I realise that I could never decide for myself, therefore, I could never make the best decisions for myself, no wonder I was able to guide myself and trust myself to do what is best for the better.
I realised that I was not voicing my needs, and how when i realise my friends and colleagues did what my colleague wanted to take me to go do, I never voiced anything, no wonder I was not able to participate and excluded myself from the group and even myself, no wonder I was not able to be with others and congregate with them. And how I have been doing this for so long, I just never realised it, because I was just living the detrimental word as breathe, postponement.
I realise that ever since, that day I was never going to be able to create something truly with my life, because of what happened that very day of age 9 of postponement for the worst. Going to some place for space excursions and seeing what was out in space and what they did to go do space travel and missions. And then onto 10 and 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, and so on up until 25, nothing ever for the better at all whatsoever. And how I could never be able to handle life and to create what could’ve been best for all for the better. And how sometimes I would complain that it is hard to go through this process of mine to make my life better, and how I’ve never done anything true and at all, it was always a harsh struggle, as it was always since that very day, it began. And compounded over time into complex equations and laws and automatic patterns and living detrimental words as breath, it deviated me helped me get nowhere to never achieving what could’ve been for the better for me, panicking as if something was ever not going to come into my life and how things are not going the way I want to be, at all whatsoever.
I realise that I would compromise myself and compromise others and hurt others to feel what I am feeling as if I need some type of nonsense unnecessary energy support that isn’t best at all whatsoever. And how I was never able to lead myself, nor anyone, at all, I’ve always misled myself and others, no wonder I was able to lead and do whatever it takes for the better at all.
I realised that I’ve wasted a lot of time not looking to get the proper help and support at all whatsoever, nothing for the better.
I commit myself to trust myself to do whatever it takes to create a life with effort of the 1+1 principle to 10 and so on to make my purpose in this lifetime true and really great for the better. And to congregate with others and to network and connect and support to do what is best in life and in business, by using elf honesty as the deciding factor and to always use self honesty to create a life for the better. And If I cannot do a certain thing by myself, I will ask and also to get help not just figure it out all on my own, thinking I can, although it may just depend on the task at hand for the business. To scale with with a plan, strategy and tactics and execution with the use of cash properly in the deserves to be able to use and scale with and keep growing within the organization that i am creating for myself and with others for the better.for as I see myself a life and life resonance as awareness and self directive principle as and for LIFE!
I commit myself to complete the task at hand and get it done, no matter what and to breathe and take self directive principle for my life and encourage others and myself as well to keep going, and always keep expecting more of myself to achieve much more, pushing the envelope, with respect and dignity for myself and for others to whom I am working with for the better. Developing strong self honesty and self trust to do the thing at hand and get the task done no matter what and keep going, with everything being much more available in my reality for the better, and creating it with others to make something truly meaningful and big for the better. For as I see myself as life and life awareness in self directive principle as and for LIFE for the better!
I commit myself to lead and network and connect with others, and to get out of my comfort zone all the time, step by step, creating a business and world and life for the better, to amazingly abundant for myself and with others. For as I see myself as life and life awareness in self directive principle as LIFE!
I commit myself to encourage my kids and my wife helping them to grow and to always have that self trust and self sufficiency support along the way. Being there for them and for my wife as well, to be there for her and the kids and to make their life and our lives for the better, helping them realise things with stability and common sense and practicality. Of what life is and how to make it truly abundant and fun to be able to communicate much more effectively and encourage them to do so, and help them voice their needs and what it is that they're asking for and how to do it with the proper and best effective and efficient support for the better. For as I see myself as life and life resonance in awareness and in reality to and as self directive principle as LIFE!
I commit myself to voice my needs and wants, to be able to get help and speak up and not just keep myself secluded and excluded from the rest, to be open and network and connect with others. For as I see myself as life and life resonance in awareness and as self directive principle for and as LIFE!
I commit myself to write self forgiveness and self corrective application of forgiving myself of what is not best within me, to stop and breathe when and if a reaction were to ever come up and to take self directive principle as life and to take care of what's going on the situation of wherever I am. Whether it be business or in life, within that, to realise statements, to realise what had affected me and what I have done and who was involved, that wasn’t doing what was best, and even for myself. Within that, I commit myself to write self commitment statements within the corrective application to apply and live the inner change as the outer change in real life, within using the tools of TechnoTutor, Desteni I Process, colleagues of mine who are stable and busy creating an abundant life for the better. And to become the best version of myself each and every day for the better, no matter what for my ultimate super super success!, for as i see myself as life and life resonance as awareness for and as self directive principle as LIFE!
