I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that within my dreams that I was panicking to get some type of gas for my bike, although it didn’t have gas, nor did it take gas. And how my mind was screwing around with me for survival and threatening my own physical life as if it didn’t even matter to me and how nothing ever truly mattered at all whatsoever. And within that, as I was with another group of people and “friends” or so called “friends, and how some people came walking by and one girl that was asian and had her jacket on and long hair and books and shorts. And then before I knew it, I was blind sided and hit so hard up side by my head as if I was being taken revenge upon in real life for being on the internet or talking smack to someone. And h ow that made me pretty angry to the point how my mind was fucking with me and I flew and tumble 1 ½ times across the ground and I got up, as someone helped me up. Then I redirected the scene, and got up running after him and got my mug with me and hit him on the back of the head and when he fell subsequently, I hit him wit more mugs that I got out of nowhere from a invisible chamber of supply that was left over, and then I started punching him, like really really really hard, like punches that you wouldn’t ever want to experience in your life ever. Because they are life threatening with vigor and anger like a shark smelling blood and it’s coming after you and it’s killing the fuck out of you. After I beat him senseless, my friend and I dragged him and we dumped him into a nearby trash can, after knocking him severely almost upon death, he wasn’t breathing, and then we were like oh shit, let’s dump his ass in a nearby dump and we’ll get rid of him. And then both departed, and never saw each other again, it’s funny how the mind reveals further of what punishment as hitting truly is, when it comes to survival of scarcity of food, water, drink and killing humanity as a w(hole) and how no one has even bothered to realise what type of food rations that will eventually happen, when someone is starved and abused and punished physically with hitting and implements that do not feel good at all whatsoever on the skin or wherever upon the body. And how it is truly life threatening as it is, and I would never want to experience that, all life matters, abuse is just another person with hurt inside and pain and unresolved possessed demons that have yet to be resurfaced and forgiven of for the better to truly let go. Because it is not real, it's something that the mind will make up as a construct to retaliate upon survival, that has yet to be investigated and forgiven. Because poor areas have this and how I didn’t know that I had this as well, just in a different form.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise as a father that I thought punishment is much more better for hitting than just talking it out with common sense and stability conversation. Instead it was thought out and brought out the subconscious act to the conscious act to hurt my son and my child by hitting him severely, until he would cry and ball up and not come out ever again as if I’ve truly have lost his trust in me, and how I lost my trust within me as well. And from that, the starting point was already fucked, so it would’ve still been the ending point, no matter what I did, and how and what I “thought” and assumed that my son has done, just because I never knew how to explain myself and express myself. It was always in danger, for me to experience and having to let it off onto my son and make him feel much more worse of the pain than I am feeling and having to witness my ego taking over me and how I was taught to do the same thing and how my other parents, and then my other parents, and then their parents, and then theirs as well, and then theirs, and then theirs and more and more and more. And sometimes it even resulted in death and being cut up and dumped into a river and later not knowing if we would ever get caught ever again in our lives. And if we would bother to even make it out alive, not just free for what we assumed and “thought” freedom truly was, without experiencing the consequences. And how within that, that I never knew how to express myself, it was always inarticulate expressions and having to express it through anger and strong emotional biases on how my son be treated just because I was treated that way, and how it hurt me and if my son were to do something really something that I didn’t like, like putting a hole in the wall or whatever or destroying a window with a metal ball or anything and how that wasn’t the best thing to do. And when I did hit my son and made him cringe as he was more and more and more in pain. I yelled at him and finally had to give him mercy as I was still in the midst of my anger explosion and dispute towards myself and towards this little child that I thought was the best thing to do as punishment as hitting. When in reality, that is not the best way to go about anything, just because I feel threatened, and have to go against him just because he is little and I am not. And how for me to retaliate upon a child and a person like him, is me just punishing myself for not wanting to feel the feelings that I thought was in some type of danger notion and not wanting to experience that and how I have to let it out upon my son. Just so he can feel the pain for his mistake that he wasn’t truly aware of, and for me to do that, is a parent of a deadbeat father, to be irresponsibly controlled and not seeing things as common sense. As I have made common sense, uncommon sense and to do it, as if it was the actual norm, when in reality, it is pure bullshit.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as an aunt to my brother’s son and how I have to do the same thing as well, just to give him a lesson and how he wasn’t even aware of himself and how I have to make him aware by hitting him. And making him sad and crying, and how I have to cry as well, to be in a similar situation when in reality I am only feeling the pain of crying and having to hurt my nephew and having to hurt him much more than how I am feeling myself. So he can learn and be a better person, when in reality, that is a lie, i only had to do it, so he can learn, because I knew no other way but to do that, because if I spoke to him, Ii wouldn’t even know how t explain it to him, because he wouldn’t listen, as I didn’t myself and that was how I was taught and had to do the same, even when it came to feeding him meals, and having to hit his hand in a threatening way, as it was evidently, and how I needed to show him how it feels to be struck and get some real attention and pain within, just so i can get his attention, so he can obey me instead of disobeying me. When in reality, i was just too fucking stupid to express myself ad explain myself to him and with him, and on how his mistakes are and what it is, when in reality, he didn’t know that much of good effective english, nor was he really effective in and at anything, in my assumption, because i never helped him do it. Therefore, I knew no other better way and option to realise what the fuck did I just do out of impulse, and how iit was imprinted and engrained within me to experience such a thing as automatic pattern to be hurting this little innocent boy as if he didn’t have a life like i did. And if I hit him anymore and caused much more pain and stress within him, he would’ve been dead and/or just passed out, and how i thought he would be dead if I caused him much more nonsense pain, just so i can be able to teach him involuntary lesson that wasn’t even in his best interest, nor was it mine at all whatsoever.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a cousin as aunt and uncle, when in reality, we are cousins to our cousin as we are his first, and how we had to hit him as well. Ad sometimes didn't want him, and had to bring over my mom and as sister in law, or whomever she was to me, and to bring him over as his aunt. And to teach him a lesson, just because we didn’t want to hit him, and if we did, he would’ve had much more of trauma like i had when i was growing up and didn’t know any better, just because I was taught the same way, doesn’t mean I need to be doing the same thing to my cousin or anyone at all and even my daughters as his cousins as well to experience this atrocity as it is. And how we could never do anything about it just because we liked him, and didn’t like, and as we were not realizing that we are sociopaths and psychopaths to think that punishment should be resolved back hitting and physical punishment just so they can realise and be awake of what you or I shouldn’t be doing and how we never thought of the best way to go about anything, and we only made it for the worst that wasn’t even in our best interest. However, we just didn’t know what to do, so as she came over, she hit him with a ruler and made this front on look and hit him and made him feel bad just because he was talking and cursing. And how he didn’t want to let up his words of being a liar and pathological liar as he was and how we were too, we just didn't want to admit it. Therefore, nothing ever resolved, and even she tried to put chemical soap into his mouth, and how we never knew, that would’ve killed him as well, because it was made of chemicals and wasn’t supposed to be edible. And the soap grinds were on his teeth and he had to rinse his mouth out, and from that moment, he probably never cursed ever again, but if he does in his lifetime, that’s his punishment in my own assumption, when in reality, that is just a assumed pattern that I have within myself as my own assumption for me and not just for him. And how I don’t even know how what to do and to even talk about, because I don’t know how to truly express myself, but in danger and anger and to bring someone else into the picture and movie and scene, to make our cousin feel much more worse than he did and than how i felt as well and had to bring punishment to him. Just to “teach him a lesson”, because I never knew anyhow of any other better way to do it, it was only the way I knew best, and I know deep down, that wasn’t the best thing to do. No matter how hard I tried to stop myself, I would bring someone else to hit him, or else I would just slap him on the hand and tell him to go out and play, and that was it. Even if I was just tired on the couch and looking to sleep, what a terrible way of punishing someone for what he wasn’t even aware of and how he couldn’t stop himself, therefore, we had to stop him for the worst in our un-innovative ways that was not best for all, nor was it for our cousin.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a cousin and father to my children as his cousins, to hit my cousin as if he didn’t have any sort of sense within himself and his life and how I thought that if I had the same situation as punishment as it is for and what it is. I’ve probably would’ve never survived, and for me to do this to him is another way and reality of my ego taking revenge upon me and how I have yet to notice what has truly happened to me. As if someone divine god of judgement day is coming after me, when in reality, it is only me who is judging me for the worst. And how I didn’t realise this whole time to think that this is another way and fashion of punishment as hitting, just because I experienced this but in a much dangerous and worse way than how he experienced it as punishment from me. And how I had to have him wear some thick clothing on his butt, and then I proceeded to hit him and said, does that hurt?, and he kept saying yeah, as if it didn’t, because in reality, I didn’t want to hurt him, but just to make him feel that I wanted to fit in as a loser I was and still is. Nothing ever resolved to me letting him be pain free, but this time and one and only time ever, that I didn’t want to see pain upon him. I only wanted the best for him, but it was only the way, I knew how, therefore, I never any other better way, than punishment as hitting.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a mother to hit my son in the mouth and threaten him to shut up, just because I taught him and let him be that way, because I never knew how to express myself either. Therefore, I never knew how, because that was the only way and best way to go about anything as if it was the best solution, when in reality and in fact, it was not. And how for me to hit him in the mouth as if he didn’t have any sense to him, was in reality, me having no sense either and having to resolve my own danger as punishment as hitting, even though I knew it was wrong to do and not right to do. I only did it because of impulsiveness and subconscious act and how I was hit in the mouth as well and had no other choice but to do the same thing as my son didn’t know any better at all whatsoever.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as an uncle to my nephew and had to hit him so profusely and damage him as if stealing was a true thing because of lack and his own environment of not even having “enough.” And how not having enough will result in him stealing and taking things and later no one ever realising but himself would experience the danger of him being snitched on by a cousin that was younger than him or as old as him. And when I found out, I gave him his rude awakening and he was in great pain by me and how this was the only way to make him wake up and diffuse his habit of lack, when in reality, that would never fix it, nor was it the best way as it is and nor was it the best way to go about anything. Just because I experienced the same thing as well and how hitting my nieces as well, was not in the best interest of myself, and how I knew deep down that it was not the best thing to do. But it was just what I “had” to do, because I knew the other way, because if I explained it to him. And expressed myself to him and with him, he would never still understand me, nor would he ever understand what to say back to me and with me, therefore it was all an assumption, because I just thought he wasn’t capable of speaking, even though he was very capable. I just wanted to teach him a lesson and wake him up out of his oblivion in my own assumption and act, that if he doesn’t learn from it, then he must suffer from pain, when in fact, physical distraught pain. And as I was hitting him and his pants were down and laid him on his stomach and I hit him really hard and how he was screaming for his life and there was so much distraught like pain that I never wanted a little child to experience. And for me to do such a thing, is my own judgement day to judge myself and this little person to be woken up by my own ways and assumptions to think that this is the best way as punishment as hitting and making someone feel so much pain, that he would never live to remember it ever again. When and if something were ever to happen again in his life, therefore he would’ve been arrested or beat up by other people that if he didn’t watch his acts, he would’ve gotten other people to punish him. When in reality, that is nothing but an assumption in my own views and way of living, and thought process, because it was all an assumptive lie to cause him future pain, as it was present pain as it was. Therefore, I never saw the future in him, nor did I ever see anything beyond that, I only saw him as he was, I never knew any other better way than pain for someone to wake the fuck up and really see what stealing is and how it could be of danger to one’s life. Therefore, this was the only best way, i knew how and no other way, and it caused me to sad and depressed to cause another human and person that was just younger than I, to experience tragic and traumatized pain as his cousins were outside, of the room and in the living room assuming and listening to the distraught sound of pain and screaming from this little boy as he was experiencing it in quantum space time. Nothing would’ve been resolved that day ever since, because we all, and including the moron myself, didn’t know any other better way to help this little boy truly experience what life could’ve been of stability, instead we portrayed instability, as so called “Stability”, that we are in reality and that we are in fact, psychopaths and sociopaths, going in circles and creating the same path and up a level, but not really going anywhere. Therefore, no solution was ever presented, it was always presented by pain and punishment as hitting.
When and as i see myself wanting to hit another in my dreams or any other place in the physical awareness world, I stop and breathe, and redirect here as breath. I realise that some people are too stupid to realise that punishment as hitting should be another option to hitting another to teach a lesson to someone and to themselves. When in fact and reality, it is not, it is only another way of being judged for stupidity and one’s own danger by assumptions, just because I or anyone doesn’t need to be experiencing that. Just because it and it only was the best way to go about anything, when it is not. And it’s fascinating how the mind creates this illusionary things and situations and scenes within the mind and how it will fuck with you and for my myself as well that it was not in my best interest to be experiencing that. It was just the ego trying to take revenge within me, during my sleep or in the physical world. And how it is not the best way to go about anything to hit anyone, unless it is for me experiencing some type of danger from someone, if I haven’t resolved my own issues and wanting to bicker with another and have to start trouble and experience my own consequences and others will experience it with me and for themselves as well in danger and nonsense that could’ve been redirected and prevented for the better. Instead the mind will fuck with me and/or anyone who tries to cause danger, because it is all assumptions made so surreal(surfaced to be real as an SUR-REAL). Because it is all nothing but an assumptive lie that I have made up within my mind to experience that isn’t even true, because of the environment that i am going into or what I have seen in the media, tv shows, movies, tv shows as movies, real life experiences of many years ago, society, so called friends, friends, so called associates, associates and so on. And how nothing in this reality is to be made other than the assumptions of the mind to be made out to act from the unconscious to the subconscious to the conscious act. Which is in reality, the real atrocity of quantum time and space time of the EGO, as the energy goes nowhere, but in specific ways to fuck with you and I for the worst. And how it resolves to an unsolved solution, but for violence and other things that are not what’s best for anyone at all whatsoever.
When and as I see myself wanting to hit anyone or my kids in the future, I stop and breathe, therefore to redirect myself and to explain and express myself in stability, therefore it is not worth it to hit anyone unless someone is showing me danger from themselves that is not best within me or them. I realise that hitting others is not the best way to go about anything just because I was told to not hit anyone and how they hit me, the contradiction of a psychopath and sociopath that doesn't know anything but counterevidence and contradiction as counter-diction as fiction, of what is not even here, but for what was made up that wasn’t in my best interest, nor for the other person at all whatsoever. And how it is all resolving back to assumptions made so real and surfaced to be real and SUR-REAL, it is all a lie to to act and experience our reality in the consequence of our assumptions and decisions to be made that was not best in the first place out of assumption and how it is not even real, and if we make it real to experience that dangerous assumption as hitting, we will experience consequence of conning our own sequence of our decision for the worst.
I commit myself to help my children to express themselves and for me to express myself with stability and common sense with them and to be able to explain how things work. And what it is within our decisions of how things work and what they do within stability and calmness, that it is important to be aware of what we do and how the consequences of it, and of course to help them become self-sufficient later on in their lives as they grow up to be very independent people. As they are and will be dependent for now, and it is amazing how to see them grow up and have fun with them and do things to travel and make the simple fun in life. Whether if it is just wearing a hat or whatever, or just going outside to play and helping them be aware of their surroundings and what things are like and where he/she is at, while we help them improve and increase their processing abilities through TechnoTutor and learning how to be able to speak much more efficiently and be able to learn things that are essential to life as education and communication and reading and nutrition along the way for the better for their lives and our lives as well. And I know that all children deserve a better life, than how we were brought up and now that we have opulence and wealth all around in the environment that I have created within business and stability and infrastructure all around for the better. Within things that were created to do what is best for all and how we can truly make something really really meaningful for the better. For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better!
I commit myself to help my employee’s, directors, salesperson’s, customers, clients, and others to realise that if we are experiencing some type of instability, that it is best to talk about it and do writing of self forgiveness and realise that we need to be stable people in this world. And our own world, that nothing should be taken for granted as impulse, because if we impulse, then guess what?, take a look, it just won’t turn out to be for the better, if it is not solved. That everyone deserves to be supported and if they thwart their opportunity and not want to participate, that is fine, they will get a position other than here at this company/corporation, we only want people who want to cooperate and to grow with us and I as a company and family together. And if anyone needs support within the company, or anyone else, we will do so, it is best to ask, than just assume in the office and coming to work everyday, not knowing what is going on within them when they could get support from someone who is effective to help them, or anyone for that matter that is of understanding and has common sense for the better. For as I see myself as life and life awareness resonance to improve and adapt for the better! And how we grow our company/corporation much faster with stability and support, and when there is stability, we cannot forget about development, and when there is development, we cannot forget about stability as it is within us along the way.
I commit myself to write self forgiveness to forgive myself of what is not best within me and to realise that sometimes it is nothing but an assumption and also something from many years ago or just recently. And to write self realisation statements, and breathing statements to realise what was and is not best within me and to breathe as I write and in others point of views as well. And within that, I commit myself to write self commitment statements and to use the tools of Self forgiveness and self commitment statements, and re-correct myself into what is best for all life and myself as well. So I can truly and become to live the living change for the better, within the tools of TechnoTutor, books, self forgiveness, Desteni I Process, and the support itself and to support myself as well. Because no one can do all things by themselves, even if they think it is so, when we need to grow as people together, and realise the power of 1+1+1+1+1 and so on as the basic power of 1+1=2 for the better. And to live the living change, for as I see myself as life and life awareness to improve and adapt for the better for my super super super super success!
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