Day 40: Getting back at someone with Misunderstanding and ASSUMPTIONS!!

  Getting back at someone?

(Read Aloud and Breathe)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that I have not yet to realise that when I try to get back at someone just because they did something in the past to make me upset. And when in fact, it was also my input and also my decision to get myself to unconsciously realise my mistake and then keep going with it, without even bothering to realise what I had done with complete misunderstanding to make another person feel the way they feel and how I feel the same way in mere utter anger and disrespect for another. And how my mind is making up all of these scenes and movies of people that I know and have in my life and my future business as well, and how I am making up these kind like scenes, but some getting back at people as if they were and are an abuser for some odd reason, when in fact, I am just allowing and accepting such abuse without even stopping myself that I am not in real actual realisation that I am doing it, without my will and say so over. And how I have yet to realise what it is like to get back at someone, just because I want to take revenge blame another person and take my own vengeance, when in fact, if it is someone abusing me, then I will, but if it is not the person that’s doing it, I will gain it from my unconscious and subconscious mind files to see where this person was and what they were doing even at the time of the encounter of yelling at me and making me upset and mad to yell back at another person for their unnecessary abuse. That I didn’t like, and how I had to be in quick quantum time of the breath and physical space time was unaffected, but affected by me and my own input, which would have resulted in an negative output, if I kept going with it, not realising that this person has done nothing to me, but for me to take revenge upon another, is me taking revenge upon myself as well. No matter who I am talking with, and wanting to take control and strict control just because I don’t know what this person is about anymore, and how I am putting up an assumption right out of the gate. Ready to attack this person as if they’ve done something to me, when in fact, it was nothing, it was only common sense information, nothing else, I just so happen to not realise how subtle my own negative reaction was without even a recognizable intention of my own way, and how i let it happen, without even knowing that I did. I knew it was coming, but somehow, it just came out of me, right out of the gate just to harm and take revenge upon someone else, as if I am not also taking revenge upon my own self and abusing my own opportunity to get something and make something happen. Whether it is support or not, or even a business deal, for a meeting and/or of anything, no matter who is trying to put on a front, whether it is me, or someone else, that has a quality that I have and how  am not realising that the tables have been turned and now i have the bad quality that was always within me. Even before the starting point even had truly occurred, not realising that I am now the abuser, and not the other person, and how subtle it was for me to do such a thing, without even realising that I am knowing that I am an abuser.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as a friend and parent, relative, whomever, to abuse this person without even realising that I am abusing this person without my intent, and thinking that I don’t have the intent. And how ugly it is, not realising that when I say to myself and to another person, that I don’t think about that, that is a complete lie, I do, it happens at random times, in such quick quantum time in and within my mind and breath, and in every breath that where I go to encounter many things or meetings of any kind. No matter what it is, I tend to subtly abuse my way in, not realising that i am controlling others, and how I have quickly accepted and allowed such a thing that is  going on within me, and how it is so subtle that it just happens, without me truly realising what is going on within me. Within the electrical charges of strings and strands within me, and how if a person’s name, their action, my action, what happened that time and day and moment, and position of day, and where the individuals were at and how we were all co-creators to see what has happened at that particular time. Not knowing where it came from, but where we just moved on and disregarded what just happened, even though we are in physical real life time, not realising that when one person says something abusive, to get back at another, without even realising that they are, it just happens, and when it does, the person or child or whomever it is, will remember it, and scaffold the memory and how it goes from to taking into the conscious mind, and then into the subconscious, where they think about it multiple times, within the conscious mind. And then eventually it seeps into the unconscious mind as the person thinks about it, more and more and more and more. Not knowing why they have accepted and allowed something so deliberately that was pure abuse or even something that I as a person have yet to notice why I have done something to myself and to another. Not realising that  I have witnessed abuse and  how I also performed the abuse to this person, trying to in an attempt to abuse another person just because they did something that I didn’t like and how it was so subtle and little. Just to ruin another’s person’s psyche and mind and to make them think that whatever trouble happens, it will ruined and tarnished and for whatever happens in their lifetime, no wondering why a person feels so bad, angered, sad, sorrow, depression, anger, resentment, full of resentful and spiteful thoughts of threats, and all the above. That is not what’s best for all, even if they think they are actually doing what is best, when in fact, they think this is the best way to go about anything to teach someone a lesson, or take revenge upon someone, just because no one ever knew and wasn’t even aware of themselves. To question and/or challenge if necessary why I said something or this person had said something to make another person feel as if abuse is just a normal thing, when in fact and reality, it is not. It is pure abuse, and how someone will not know why they are sitting at home alone, not ever knowing why something is going through their mind and body, not realising why they are being complacent and contemplating what is about to happen or not happen, and they somehow seem to accept and allow to stay at home and do nothing with their lives, and how I’ve noticed myself and this person stay at home and do nothing as if life  wasn’t already here itself. When in fact, being within the mind and being complacent and contemplating if they were and/or are going outside to do something, they end up regretting their decision and wasting a day of their life and not realising what and why and how of where their day went, due to distractions and coping mechanisms of videos and thoughts of things that have no way of actual true realisation of what is and why that is. And how it even got there, because no one ever knew the actual context of why abuse was ever there in the first place, just to get back at someone, when specifically, this person or any person , or even myself, had taken some type of revenge and vengeance upon this person or any person as abuse. Without even realising that I myself was an abuser, and how this person came about to abuse me back as well, much later in my life, no matter how much havoc and trouble there ever was. Not realising that i am not that much of a good person, I am and was nothing but an abuser my whole life, not realising that my child as a person was also an abuser and friend as well. Not ever knowing why I show love, but I show it in abuse, not ever realising that I was showing love as giving, but I was only giving abuse, it was not love, it was never love, it never was in the first place, and it never will be at all whatsoever. And within that, for me to get back at someone, is me showing pure abuse to what I had to forgive myself of, no matter how and what my day is and where it's going, is all dependent on taking revenge upon my own self and also the person who lives with me, not ever realising that we are both abusers to not realise that we have abused our own friend that we have birthed into this world. To be nothing but an abuser and to take revenge and vengeance back upon us, and how he will end up doing this to others, not even and ever realising why that ever was, even if it was merely simple to begin with. And not even bothering to ever question why I feel the way I feel and how this person ever was to ever feel that they are and how they are and what they are as a judgement and quick irrational reaction. As if it was an actual real thing to do, when in fact, and reality, it is all just mere assumptions and how everything of all anger and resentment and revenge and vengeance, is all assumption and when assumptions do not get clarified, people will experience hell on earth and consequence for the worst. Not ever knowing why that ever was, why it ever occurred, not knowing what caused it, where it came from, because no one and even I, and my friend, as a person, did not ever realise that we are all abusers, in this real physical life, as life is pretty cool, but the mind is fucked up, beyond belief and imagination, in such quick quantum time breath, going by so quick, not ever realising how and when abuse will ever occur when the situation of a person’s name, action, mannerism, way of doing, way of talking, way of being, way of expression, was and were to be actually in occurrence to happen. For the abuse to happen so quick. Not knowing why the person ever did, and where this person had gotten this from and how I came to believe and know that to accuse this person or anyone or even myself and how I got this saying from other people. To say as an abuser, “what has gotten into you?”, when in fact, what has gotten into  me was pure abuse and irrational reaction that I have caused within you and everyone and how you are an abuser just like me, you just don’t know that you have it. It’s always been there, and how no one will ever realise and understand why a thing has ever happened so deep, that no one will ever understand will always react in some negative way and lie to themselves deliberately, like a moron not knowing why they did something. And to completely reject what they didn't do, even though they did it, and completely lied to themselves, like I did to this person and also to myself, not realising that I was accusing and getting back also at my own self. Not realising that I am making another person be another copy like me, or even accept and allow as well to be a copy of a mannerism and irrational reaction from another person, whatever it may be. Thinning it made sense, but it didn’t, I only accepted and allowed it, because I never could see beyond my own rational and mixed irrational thinking and decision making to contradict both of my decisions and emotional and intelligence like decision making that ends up going nowhere. And if I end up contemplating the negative irrational decision, then consequences will be in appearance and presented to me, without my actual awareness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse this person and not be aware of what I just did, and acknowledge that to this person, no matter of how old or even the age of what person was. And how I only just accepted and allowed it to be, and disregarded my own actions and to let this person go and let be gone to what my abuse was and never even bothered to realise what I had just done and didn’t even bother to acknowledge in quantum time o the breath to speak to this person to let this person know what I had just done and apologize. When in fact and reality, I was too much of an abuser and was complacent into wanting to even do so, when in fact, I only let the person be in madness and pain, just like I was and how intense the ugly anger and how painful it was to me to hurt another person. Just because I am doing that act, I am also hurting myself and making myself angered in pain, for hurting another, and how I am not realising where that pain and anger is actually coming from. And how subtle and in quick quantum time breath has been  to be of occurrence of me to not ever realise that I did not let this person know what I had just done and for them to ever realise what I had just done. To explain why that ever was to even happen in that very moment. But I did it anyway, and completely disregarded the person and went about my own day, and letting the other person suffer in their own pain that I have caused upon another person with my own poisonous breath and intent and emotional negative reaction, that was completely irrational, without even knowing that it was actually irrational in the first place from the very starting point, even before it actually even happened in the first place. It was just the act of another person showing ill intent or just intense emotion of not valuable actual care and affection had made me want to get back at this person, even when they were just so little or even of no matter the age of whom it was. I just did it, just because I wanted silence and for no one to ever speak while I was doing something to get silence and for nothing and no one to ever say anything. Just because I want to enjoy quiet time, when in fact, I was also abused in my own quiet time as well, no wonder I wanted to abuse another person to be quiet just because I don’t want any noise, not knowing ever why my starting point was to mess with someone while they were just going about their day, as if I am not the same abuser doing the same thing to another person, for what had happened to me, many years ago, or even just recently. Not even knowing the actual true source of the starting point to affect each and every decision that I have made in my life, has now caused other people or even in my own assumption to do the same thing and no matter how hard people try to succeed at something in life. It will take 5-10 times harder to get to achieve something, because of the resonance design that is happening in each and every breath that has and was ever to be of in occurrence to so abusive to the point that no one will ever make it out the other end. To a better life, that everyone deserves, but no matter how hard they try, they make each and every decision in abuse, no matter if it is a good opportunity or not, the irrational negative reaction and demand, assumption or whatever the case it may be, it will be ruined, at every step, and at every breath, no matter what anyone does to go toward to anything to achieve and have flourishing and proud accomplishment. It will all be tarnished at some point in their life, no matter how little or subtle it is, life will be a disaster for them. Not knowing the point of what that ever was, and how it feels as a point of no return, once they are in, they are in, without even realising what is happening and they cannot reverse the consequence that will occur in quantum time and quantum breath reaction from the expression of the human being as a ruptured and interrupted and dis-ruptured electrical charge of a string and strand of what the person is about to experience, before they experience of what is about to happen. Only on their own input and output of the actual result of consequence or no consequence to happen or not at all. And how it deliberately happens, without even questioning why it will ever occur before it happens, before it feels ever so natural as the breath and expression as the flesh, whether good or bad, whether what’s best for all, or what’s not best for all. A decision will be made at some point of making something work for the best, and somehow a decision that is not of either good or bad, it was only accepted and allowed to be with mediocre performance. Not ever knowing why it will ever occur, because something is lacking and is in limitation, and will occur, no matter what they do to change their ways and my own ways to go about something and do something in the best ways possible, of actual awareness as the flesh and expression as the flesh as a human being.

When and as I see myself wanting to abuse another person and myself as well, not realising what I had done and/or what someone in the past has done to me, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself about to perform a negative act and feel as if I am about to, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself not realising why something is about to happen and be in occurrence of whatever it may be that will tarnish my decision and action, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself looking to abuse someone else, just because they did something in the past and how I didn’t realise that I was also the occupant within that situation as well to somehow take on the same thing, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself not acknowledging my own abuse and why it has even ever to occur that I was going to deliberately accept and allow it to happen in quantum time, breath and expression, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself taking and making the decision to contemplate over something that isn’t what’s best for me, and make the decision to do nothing about it for what is here with me now, wherever I am, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself making up scenes in my head about getting back at someone, just because I did something or they did something that wasn’t best or was just in mere assumption, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself urging and about to be in attempt knowing that it is coming to make a decision that makes my own consequence that isn’t good to be about anything to further ourselves or anyone, with a point of no return and a pure big negative occurrence of a consequence, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself wanting someone to be quiet just because I want some quiet time or another person not acknowledging it and/or I am not acknowledging anything to help someone know or myself know, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself about to make a decision that isn’t of the best solution, and how it will cause me a big time of waste and it will lead me down a path of not being able to trust another, the other person not trusting me anymore, and not even bothering to acknowledge myself and what I am about to do in contemplation, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself not seeing what is best and not saying anything and just to keep it to myself and not acknowledge that I am not being aware of what is happening of why what I am doing, whether it be good to help me get to the place of where I want to go, emotionally and financially, I stop and breathe.

When and as I see myself urging myself and being impatient to make something happen, whether it is within someone else or just me, and how I will experience somewhat of a negative occurrence and reaction that I have already forgiven and/or have not yet forgiven clearly within me, I stop and breathe.

I realise that trying to get back at someone is just another coping mechanism to get attention, just because this person didn’t help me, or either they said something in the past that made me upset or whatever it is. And how I did not realise that trying to get back at someone is not going to solve anything, unless they are some type of abuser, and how I am not even bothering to say anything and challenge the person on it, and how I may try to contemplate it and end up making the decision that lead me down a path to oblivion just like the other person was in that particular state without even realising that I was doing such a thing. Not even bothering to acknowledge that I wanted to do it my own way and not say anything and explain what they think about it, when in fact and reality, I did not realise that I had lost trust and respect for myself and also for another, without even bothering to acknowledge myself, whether it is someone I know or don’t know, just depending on the situation of what I had just done. To lose my own self trust and significance of me just looking to ask for help and then immediately denying someone else’s advice and my own advice to myself to see what I can do differently. Not ever realising that I had just completely disregarded what someone else has presented me and want to take control and be a control freak without even knowing how subtle of what I am doing to be one as I am, when in fact, it was only accepted and allowed of what I had seen in and from others and how i also molded them in my own way and subconscious living and unconscious living from the conscious act and take in. not knowing why I ever did the thing in assumption, not understanding why I wasn’t doing what other people were suggesting to me and how I never realised if it were to be correct or not, I just thought my own way was better, and how I got results from it. And how I never knew, that I was also disrespecting my own self and also my own friend. And not even bothering to ask questions and seek for more clarification, instead doing the negligent act in blind quantum breath awareness, just because I never understood what someone was trying to do to help me, and how I think my way is better and how I am getting it to be. And how I feel that I need to get back at someone just because they didn't do what they were asking for from me or anyone else at all whatsoever.

I realise that getting back at another person is not going to help me any further, if i don’t acknowledge it to myself and question I was even doing something in the natural pre-programmed design of myself. Not knowing why I did such a thing and then disregarding what advice that I was asking for and end up doing the opposite thing in stubbornness and negligence, just because I am asking for advice, doesn’t mean i need to do it, it’s a recommendation, but the thing is, I never realised beyond what I couldn’t even realise and understand, it was just a mere smoke scent and smoke screen that I set up for my own self, not knowing why I had come by just to get help, because I was going so far in my process, that i completely disregarded someone else. Not even realising how subtle and disrespectful it was, before it even happened as it was about to occur, feeling so ever neutral and complacent about it, not ever knowing why I was being stubborn and complacent. Because in fact and reality, I just didn’t understand, that was it.

I realise that not understanding something and/or someone is presenting, is in fact me trying to get back at someone else, when in fact, I am getting back at myself, for so many years and how it affected all of my decisions. No matter if it was good or not good, I only assumed that trust was never truly developed for the better of myself, and how i never trusted myself, I never cared for myself, because I never was taught to do it correctly and be aware of it. Because no one around me, nor even myself, was aware of the fact that I was and they were also not aware of how and what trust truly ever is. And if it is not made and occurred to be, then who knows what will even happen, if the person will ever acknowledge me or even myself to acknowledge myself for what I had done. And didn’t realise that  I had just done what  I had done in such living breath as my own resonance, not realising that I was neglecting my own self and another person for who was helping me. Just because what I am doing is what  I think is better.

I realise that trying to get my own quiet time is only abusing another person and for what I think it is that they want, when in fact, it is only best for me in terms of my own self interest, that no one else’s thinking is better than mine. When in fact, I have only disregarded what something is and was, before it’s occurrence as the actual natural state of breath, when in fact, I am just abusing my opportunity to myself and to  another, without even realising that I was doing it. In such actual quantum time breath expression as it is, to be.

I realise that I don’t really know what it is like to have self trust, self respect, and being teachable really is, after all these years of being led blindly by the blind, who were of my parents and others as friends, family, relatives, whoever it was that I ever met In my life.

I commit myself to be aware of what I am doing and how to do it much more proficiently and effectively to see where I am and where I want to go in my life. And to achieve and accomplish the things that I want, objectives, goals, along with certainty, and understand what it is that i want to achieve out of life that is important for me and how i can do that with others who deserve the respect and honor and self trust for myself and self respect for myself. Understanding what  self trust and self respect truly is and how it works and observe those who have the results and are doing so. Because I understand now that if someone has the results better than I, then I will listen, but if they don’t, then what is the point?, you know?, common sense. To consider the advice and ask questions and acknowledge the person who has the results other than I, if I haven’t gotten what I was looking for, then I will ask, and also seek within myself and see what that is, and see what I can do to let go and become better for and within myself and with others for the better. For as I see myself as Life and Life Resonance in awareness and in reality to improve and adapt for the better and to Live the Living change as LIFE!

I commit myself to use the Tools of TechnoTutor, support groups, support from people, and give support as well, to those in need and stand up for what is best and never accept a mediocre life and inferior life, because I understand and know that it is not worth to live a life that way. For what others have accepted and allowed as the norm as the natural breath, with no one ever realising themselves and why they are doing what they are doing, with any sort of acknowledgement at all whatsoever. For as I see myself as life and life resonance in awareness and in reality to improve and adapt for the better, and to live the living change as LIFE!

I commit myself to understand how to acknowledge someone and ask the proper effective questions and to be able to get my message across so others can understand where we can go together. And achieve what is at hand with proper effective understanding, whether it may be for business, life, relationships, communications, and much more for the better!

I commit myself to understand the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th order consequences of sequence any and what decisions will be best and do so, if it is so to be what is best and act promptly and tactfully towards achieving what it is that I set out for myself. And to get myself in such a position of wealth and opportunity to create big business along the way, step by step, breath by breath of what things to make effective conversations productive to get something done while I apply myself and lead others to apply themselves in the right directions. For what is best to do to advance to get ourselves in such positions of advancement and achievement of what it is like to create and scale our creation of our businesses, and to have and create a wonderful well lived life for the better. For as I see myself as life and life resonance in awareness and in reality to improve and adapt for the better, and to Live the Living Change as LIFE!

I commit myself to understand others perspectives to see what I can do as a better effective decision and outcome of my input and output to make things smooth and in the best ways possible to get paperwork, conversations, anything that is important to get it covered and laid out. So it can be done in the best effective ways that can truly be achieved for the better, within that, to understand what it is that needs to be done and carried over from other parties and same for myself as well. For as I see myself as life and life resonance in awareness and in reality to improve and adapt for the better, and to live the living change as LIFE!

I commit myself to help my children and encourage my wife, that we’re all in this together to help each other understand what we’re seeking for and understand what it is to take responsibility with common sense and stability. See we can understand where each other is coming from and what we want as people, and also to support the kids to understand as they’re growing up more and more. To help them understand what things are, how they work, why it is that way and how things can be changed and altered for a better outcome for what is best within the learning process and understanding of what we’re saying and explaining to give the proper and effective context for what something actually means and what it is for and how to use it. How to talk with others and and understand what and how to communicate effectively with common sense and practicality and to discern information and how to understand it effectively to be in this world with us and when they are on their own they can be self sufficient individuals for the better, as we are doing the same as well for the better! For as I see myself as life and life resonance in awareness and in reality to improve and adapt for the better, and to live the living change as LIFE!

I commit myself to help and encourage my directors, senior partners, salespersons, employees, to investigate and understand where we can go and understand what we can better effectively do with effective decision making. And understand what it is and how outcomes will be and become prompt and effective as individuals within the corporation that we have and how we can become better effective people to grow and do better business and scale it to new heights than ever before! To communicate and understand how to do what we do better and effectively become creative as who we are as individuals to gain market share and to do what is best with honesty and integrity and respect and dignity for all and for what we’re doing as a company and family, and corporation! For as I see myself as life and life resonance in awareness and in reality to improve and adapt for the better with creativity and innovation for the better and to live the living change as LIFE!

I commit myself to be fair dealing and challenge, if any of those whoever try to abuse, I will give them no mercy, with respect and dignity for the individual and understand that if a person does not understand that I will improve and adapt my position and what I can do better next time and in the moment so we and I can better proceed in the right direction of achievement!, for as I see myself as life and life resonance in awareness and in reality to improve and adapt for the better and to live the living change as LIFE!

I commit myself to write self forgiveness and self corrective application, to forgive myself of what is not best within me, and what results I am living as breath and not in realisation of, and within that to stop and breathe when and if a reaction were to ever happen again to take self directive principle as life. Then onto realisation statements to realise what I had been doing and have reacted to and was living as breath and within that, I commit myself to write self corrective application statements to recorrect myself as to what is best for me and how I can become much more effective and better as an individual. In how I conduct myself and interact with others, and to live this living change as life, to use the tools of TechnoTutor, Self forgiveness and self corrective application, within the Desteni I Process, and the journey’s to life blogs and the support from others who have the stability and business acumen as well! For as I see myself as life and life resonance in awareness to improve and adapt for the better, and to live the living change as LIFE!